


To: All The Boys I've Loved Before

by makudonarundo



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bad endings, F/M, Fluff, Inspired by To All The Boys I've Loved Before, Love Letters, adunno reolli, i guess??, like heavy amount of angst, pls enjoy dis cake i serve u, you're smitten with yeosang
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:21:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 60,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23275447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makudonarundo/pseuds/makudonarundo
Summary: What happens after you watch To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before and all the eight boys you loved suddenly pops into mind? An idea was implanted into your mind and after a whole fiasco of scented papers and coloured envelopes, you end up with eight love letters addressed to the eight aforementioned males. What happens if your best friend mails those letters, just like in the movie? And just like in the movie, your whole life breaks out in shambles, your feelings no longer intact as all eight (breathtakingly beautiful) boys start to crowd around you and your unstable emotions.
Relationships: ATEEZ Ensemble/Reader, Choi Jongho/Reader, Choi San/Reader, College AU - Relationship, Jeong Yunho/Reader, Jung Wooyoung/Reader, Kang Yeosang/Reader, Kim Hongjoong/Reader, Park Seonghwa/Reader, Song Mingi/Reader
Comments: 100
Kudos: 103





	1. prologue.

**Author's Note:**

> based off this edit by @/yukhelei on twitter!  
> https://twitter.com/yukhelei/status/1240327272021798913?s=20

“Well that was stupid.” You roll your eyes as the end credits start to scroll down along the solid black background. “Come on, y/n, it wasn’t that bad. It was pretty cute if you ask me.” Yeosang comments from under his pillow fortress, his voice slightly muffled. It was your typical Tuesday movie night with your best friend, and with the recent hype about _To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before_ you two decided to watch the Netflix Original. “Yeah, well I didn’t ask you, did I?” You glance at him as he finally emerges from his fluffy abode, hair ruffled and cheeks tinted a light shade of coral. _Wow that look really suits him._ Your heart rate increases in the slightest bit at the sight, and it takes all of your willpower to stop the blush from rising up your neck to your cheeks. 

Yeosang has been your best friend since summer camp 6 years ago. From the moment you offered him a spare paintbrush, you knew you two would hit it off. Were you right? No. It actually took you quite a while to befriend him; considering his shy and quiet nature, you should have expected that. It wasn’t until the end of the three week long summer camp for you two to start interacting with each other. 

“It was a good movie and admit it you thought Noah Centineo was cute.” He gives you a knowing look with a slight wiggle of his eyebrows. You on the other hand, your face scrunches at the thought. “That jock? Ew no. I prefer Lana Condor, thank you very much.” No offense though, Noah was attractive, but having Lana Condor by his side really took away his shine. “Also, a movie mustn’t be judged off the actor’s looks,” you toss your duvet off of your legs as you hop off the bed, “but on how they handle the character.” The boy before you accepts this and nods his head and counters with “but if you’re gonna cast relatively new actors they must at least have some looks in them, how else are they going to garner the attention of the public?” You give him a dumbfounded look, “Uhm, I don’t know, an interesting plot, maybe?” “But having good looks plays an important role when it comes to these kinds of things.” He starts to rearrange the pillows of his fort back to their normal position.

“Are you saying that ugly people can’t become actors?”

“Are you saying that people are ugly?”

“That’s not what I mean-” you roll your eyes in annoyance as Yeosang grins. “You know what, I’m gonna go get something to drink.” You huff out of the room and down the stairs into the kitchen, stopping in your tracks when you notice Lei by the counter and her boyfriend on the stool beside her. 

“Hey sis, San” you nod your head at the two, “what’s up?” You trot over to the fridge and grab a can of sprite and a bottle of your favourite iced tea. “Not much, what about you, why’re you down here?” she nods at you, because during these days you’d stay in your room with said best friend and never emerge unless dinner was involved, which leads to an unannounced race between you two. “Did something happen during your Tuesday date night with Yeosang?” Your sister teases leaning on her elbows at the counter. “We’re not dating and I’m just grabbing us some drinks.” You roll your eyes at her cheeky smile. “Ah yes, a refreshing drink needed by two lovers to rehydrate after rigorous acts.” San smirks at you with those smouldering eyes of his, a dimple emerging from his right cheek. “San!” Lei smacks the blond on the arm, her jaw dropping and eyes widening in disbelief. 

Your grandmother, having heard the conversation, peeks her head into the kitchen. “What are these ‘rigorous acts’ I hear of?” She eyes the three of you (especially San) pointedly. San breaks out in cold sweat and hurriedly shakes his head, “I’m kidding grandma! It’s just a joke.” After a few more moments of suspicious staring, your grandma flashes a toothy smile. “You better be” was all that was heard before your grandmother stalked away. The boy in question lets out the breath he’s been holding in. “You should watch what you say in this house, San.” Your sister runs her fingers through her newly dyed hair, the dark red strands contrasting her pale skin. “Especially when it’s regarding y/n, you know how much she babies her” San mutters out a tiny ‘sorry babe’ before pouting. 

Lei rolls her eyes and chuckles softly while leaning in to peck at his pouted lips. She then looks over to where you stay rooted in your spot, mind refusing to process any of the words said by your sister’s boyfriend. “I pretend not to hear.” You animatedly walk all the way back to your room, holding your breath on the way and only exhaling once you're inside. “Ugh, finally. I thought you ditched me or something.” You recomposed yourself and tossed Yeosang his green soda can, which he caught with ease. “It’s nothing, San just held me back for a moment.” This made the brown haired boy in front of you raise a brow inconspicuously . “Just San?” He questions. 

“Oh, no– uhm Lei was there too. But San was the one talking.” You lied, like a liar. Yeosang nodded at this, dismissing your fishy behaviour and deciding not to act on it. With that, your movie evening went just like how your typical Tuesday nights would: spending time with your best friend talking about anything and everything. Him staying over for dinner before finally bidding everyone farewell. Oh and San left too. 

“I can see it, you know.” Lei spoke up from the dinner table as you were cleaning up. “Pardon?” you gave her a quick confused glance before going back to the task at hand. “The way you look at Yeosang. Sweetie, you’re smitten with him.” _shit I’ve been caught._ “No I’m not.” Again you lied, like the liar you were. “We’re just friends.” 

“That’s what they all say, the next thing you know they’re all over each other.” She sighs with a lovestruck look written all over her face. “I assume you’re speaking from experience?” Now it was her turn to give you a confused look. “San always had looked at you like that,” Lei’s eyes turn somber while yours trail down to the stack of plates in your hands. “Everyone could see it from a mile away…” _I could never compete_. 

Lei knew everything about you, and you about her. You two were a package, nothing could separate you. Not even when you both fell for the charming guy that moved into your neighborhood a few years ago, which caused sibling rivalry to brew between you two. Even with the same love interests, nothing changed between you. With that said, you two would spend your nights talking amongst each other, the topic being your said neighbour. Discussing exciting (as exciting as two twelve year olds can get) exchanges with San and trying to outdo each other, but with a smile nonetheless. 

Three years later San’s heart made a choice, and it wasn’t you. Admittedly, you were devastated, but what could you do? You can’t force your romantic feelings onto someone. Neither can you just take the petty route and blame everything on your sister. You could only accept the fact that Lei just appealed more to San. And ruining your close-knit relationship with your loving sister all because of one boy? Preposterous. 

That doesn’t matter now, because you can see the genuine look of adoration in both Lei’s and San’s eyes when the other is mentioned. You knew deep down that you couldn’t make San happy like that, and seeing your sister beaming with joy fills your heart to the brim. It was like they were destined to be together, and you were fine with that. 

Lei gave you one of her soft smiles and pressed a kiss to your cheek, telling you that she’ll be off to bed and a sweet ‘love you’. 

You had your fair share of romantic memories, and they were all bittersweet; as you were tucking yourself in bed, an idea struck you. _No that’s stupid._ You scold yourself and roll over to your side, eyes drifting off to your desk where an array of coloured pens were displayed. Letting out a huff, you shuffle over to the other side of your bed where your eyes met your bedside drawer. The contents of that drawer? Some stationery, patterned papers, scented papers, paper envelopes. Now the world was just taunting you, so you sit up (albeit aggressively) and cross your arms, a scowl soon appears on your face as a bright white box appears in your line of vision. You angrily fall back on your bed and mush your face with another pillow on standby. 

It smells like… Yeosang? This was the pillow he was hugging earlier, his scent really clung onto the silk casing. It was really earthy, the scent, a calming mix of cedarwood and cypress, admittedly it was addictive. Oh god, imagine if Yeosang walked in on you like this, hugging your pillows and taking in his scent. _How piteous._ You lifted the fluffy mass off your face and sighed, eyes travelling around your dark room, landing on your desk, bedside drawer and that wretched box. There’s no way you’re doing something that stupid. 

* * *

Yeosang came knocking at your door before you woke up, then waltzing into your room, without consent might I add, and unceremoniously pushed you off your bed by aggressively pulling you out of your burrito blanket. “Rise and shine, ugly.” he grins down at your form thrown on the floor

“You bastard, what do you want?” you glare at him through droopy eyes. Regardless, the stupid grin on his face remains. “What do you mean? Get dressed!” Yeosang encourages you with bright eyes before realization dawns on him. He gasps dramatically and feigns a hurt look, “It’s the second Wednesday of the month!!” Your face scrunches in confusion and the brunet blinks, unsure if he wants to continue this friendship.

“It’s breakfast Wednesday, dumbass. Don’t tell me you forgot?” the (rusty and barely used) gears in your mind finally begin to turn, but in the wrong direction. “But… It’s Monday?” Yeosang’s considering putting out ‘hiring new friends’ flyers, “What do you mean Monday? Yesterday was Tuesday, we had movie night.” The gears in your brain start churning faster still in the same direction. “Exactly!” you were now half awake and getting up from your position on the floor, chucking your pillow at the idiot in front of you. 

“Yesterday was Tuesday and Monday comes after Tuesday!” you argue. Yeosang’s jaw drops at your utter idiocy and he withdraws, “You know, I think we need to push our breakfast Wednesdays to 9 instead of 8”, and with that he cautiously backs out of your room. Ten minutes later the sound of your door being ripped open resonates throughout your otherwise quiet household. You scamper down the stairs and find Yeosang on your couch scrolling through social media. Without even looking up from his phone he calls out “Good morning, Monday.” You scrunch your nose at him and walk past him towards the front door; looking over your shoulder, you’re half surprised to find him not following behind you. “Are you coming?”

“I don’t know, Monday. Am I?” he raises a teasing brow at you and you throw your head back in exasperation. “You’re never gonna let me live this down, are you?” With a mischievous smile he gets up off the couch and shoves his phone into his pocket. “You got that right, Monday,” _There’s this certain kind of hatred that’s reserved for Yeosang and Yeosang only._

Halfway into your walk, you break the comfortable silence that settled between you two. “What do you wanna get today?” he glances at you and looks up at the clear sky, contemplating his answer. “Probably some waffles, what about you Monday?” You clench your fists an attempt to not smack him, “I assume you already have that saved as my contact?” 

He gives you a side smirk and a glint of mischief flashes in his eyes, whipping out his phone he opens your contact. And just as you expected your contact name was ‘monday 😞’. “Was the emoji really necessary?” you turn to face him, walking backwards. “Yes, to express my disappointment.” The only proper response was to roll your eyes at his wide grin. 

“Hey, you know what I just noticed?” Yeosang suddenly spoke up while you were in the middle of drinking your coffee. You hum in response, eyebrows raising letting him know that you were paying attention. “This place sort of looks like that diner from ‘To All the Boys’.” His warm chocolate eyes wander around the room, landing on many different things that resemble the set from the movie. “You still have that movie in your mind?” You set your mug down and look at him expectantly. 

“Yeah, it was a pretty cute film. I mean the letters? I never would have thought of that.” He leans back on the booth while chewing his waffles and strawberries. “Please, if you like somebody, the best thing you could do is tell them the truth,” you rebutted. A hypocrite, that’s what you truly are, but you continued nonetheless, “what’s the point in holding back, if something was meant to happen between two people, it would just happen.” Yeosang sighs at this, “Y/n, not everyone is as patient and certain as you are. Some people are sensitive when it comes to this kind of stuff.” He lifts his mug to his lips and takes a sip of his tea. 

“Sometimes a person’s feelings just become unbearable that they _need_ to do something about it. But then there’s always this one thing that holds them back. It doesn’t matter how small that thing is, your brain will take whatever it can to psych you out of it. It’s either that or the fear of rejection.” 

“See, let me backtrack a bit, Yeosang. You shouldn’t fear rejection, if they don’t return your feelings there’s nothing we can do about that. Getting rejected wouldn’t be the end of the world, in fact it will only make you a better person. It’s either you be a pussy and torture yourself with the hundred of ‘what if’s or grow some balls and face rejection head on.

* * *

What were you again? Oh right, a fucking hypocrite. What happened to all that big talk about ‘facing rejection head on?’ What do you mean? That never happened. After all talk about love letters and confessions, you (more like Yeosang) convinced yourself that maybe you should do something about all the harboured feelings you have at bay. So here you were...

 _I can’t believe I’m doing this…_ you massage your temples and shut your eyes in disappointment. _What has my life become_ , you were sat on your desk, your study lamp switched on, with a plum coloured pen in between your fingers. A stack of scented paper sat in front of you, with eight coloured envelopes at the side. Your alarm clock blaring ‘12:47’ in bright white digits. 

And with that you began reeling back your memories, all the way back from the summer of 2011. 

_There were eight in total… San, of course, my childhood crush slash Lei’s boyfriend. Hongjoong, someone I met at a party and kept me company till morning. Seonghwa, the boy next door with such kind eyes. Yunho, that barista downtown, who's absolutely breathtaking. Mingi, my math tutor; tall, smart, and handsome. Wooyoung, the university’s resident bad boy with a golden heart. Jongho the school quarterback and whenever he sings, angels dance around in glee. And finally, Yeosang, my best friend… and the one who had my heart since day one._


	2. to: choi san.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To: Choi San.
> 
> Your childhood crush who just so happens to be your sister's boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ello sorry for the late update, i was ill for the past couple of days. i hope you enjoy this chapter, thank you for supporting this <3 (also its my birthday tomorrow yayyy)

_To: Choi San_

_How do I start this? Choi San, I liked you for three years straight, from the day we first met, I saw you from my bedroom window and thought, ‘why not introduce myself’. I took my chances and I didn’t regret a thing, I still don’t. Haha… I remember I kept interrupting you (it was a bad habit of mine) and you were like: that’s rude, don’t._

“Lei?” Your sister looks back at thirteen year old you from your study desk with an attentive hum, “Do you know that guy?” Your finger jabs at the glass window, pointing at the young boy heading towards their mailbox. Lei’s eyes follow your finger and lands on the dark haired kid dressed in his pyjamas. “No, I don't… Must be new.” She shrugs indifferently and turns back to her previous task. “I think we should go say ‘hi’.” You quickly hop off your window seat and sprint downstairs, making your sister roll her eyes and chuckle. 

“Hi!” The boy jumps at your sudden greeting and looks at you with confused cat-like eyes. “I’m y/n, I live across the street.” You throw him a wide smile and he returns it with one of his shy ones, dimples appearing on his cheeks. “I’m San, nice to meet you.” You place your elbows on their wooden fence and lean forward, “Welcome to the town, how are you liking it so far?” San glances behind him to their front door and sees it open and empty, taking this as a sign that he can continue the conversation, he takes a step closer to you. “Well, we moved in here the day before yesterday, I can’t really say anything yet.” He shoves his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, digging his shoes into the ground. You tilt your head to the right, pleading with your eyes for him to keep talking, he takes the hint and keeps going. “You know, we’ve been busy unpacking and it’s been raining for the past couple days, so I don’t think we had the chance to leave the house.”

“So what you’re saying is that this, right now,” you make a silly gesture with your hands, “this is your first time leaving the house?” San furrows his brows in deep thought, “Well, you’re not wro-” “Wait, no, since you’re still within this fence,” you interrupt him mid sentence, your hands making contact with the white wood to emphasize your point, “technically you still haven’t left home.” He acknowledges this with a nod of his head. “Technically-” “That’s pretty sad if you think about it.” You interrupt him once more, but this time, when you open your mouth to speak, San call’s you out. “It’s rude to interrupt people when they're speaking.” He furrows his brows at you and leans back on their mailbox. 

“Ah… I’m sorry.” You remove yourself from their fence and look down at your shoes. San’s strict expression subsides and is replaced by a soft smile, “It’s fine, I forgive you. Just don’t do it again.” You sigh in relief and look back up to meet his eyes. It stays silent for a couple moments before San starts speaking. “I’ve been wanting to walk around the town for a bit, from what I’ve seen from my window,” his eyes roam around the array of colourful houses down the street, “everyone seems fun to be with-” without thinking your mouth moves on its own, moving to say something, but San gives you a pointed look, as if saying _‘remember what I told you_ ’ and your lips shut in an instant. “Just yesterday I saw a bunch of kids playing in the rain. Back where I lived everything was gloomy and depressing,” he recalls the leaden skies he used to look up to and compares it to the bright blue sky he’s seeing right now. “This is just so much better.” His gaze comes back to you and his eyes disappear into bright crescents, adding a scintillating effect on his smile.

_He’s really cute._ “Thanks.” The dark haired boy in front of you gives you a playful smile at what you blurted out. “D-did I say that out loud?” You mentally kick yourself in the stomach at your idiocy. “I mean, sure, no problem.” (Un)Fortunately, before things become awkward, a voice from inside San’s house calls for him and the said boy is reminded of why he went out in the first place. “It was really nice talking to you y/n.” He opens the mailbox he was leaning on and grabs a stack of envelopes from inside. “Yeah, you too, and I’m glad you’re liking it here.” You back away from the fence and watch as San runs a hand through his dark locks. “I gotta go now. I hope I see you soon.” He gives you one last smile before jogging back to his house. 

Your eyes land on his mailbox spotting their surname printed on the side, _choi_ … _choi san, it suits him._ A small smile makes its way on your lips and you turn around to run back to your house. Unbeknownst to you, San stood by the living room window and saw the smile appear on your face, making him chuckle softly and shake his head. His eyes stayed on you while you ran across the street before disappearing into the front door. 

* * *

_… and then the day after that, I was looking out my window and suddenly you opened the curtains and saw me. I really didn’t know it was your room! I promise. But I’m glad that happened, we had a topic to talk about on the way to the grocery store. That day you got lost and would have raged in front of Mrs. Han’s house if I didn’t help you._

The next morning, when San opened his curtains, he’s met with your face, staring out of your own window. Your eyes met for a moment but the contact was broken by you falling off your seat in shock. You really didn’t expect for that to happen, you didn’t even know that was his room. You were just unconsciously looking out your window, coincidentally, thinking about San, whether or not you were going to see him today. Well you did see him, just not in the way you thought.

“Breakfa- Are you okay?” Lei enters your room and is half surprised to see you face down on the floor. When you’re sitting at the kitchen table holding an ice pack to your nose, Lei sits in front of you and looks at you, her expression a combination of expectant and disappointed. “Well, I was looking out the window, minding my own business when suddenly, San opens his curtains. I was startled and fell back.” You quickly explain to your sister who now holds a confused expression. “San?” You’re reminded that you didn’t have the chance to tell your sister about yesterday's happenings. “Oh, the boy from across the street.” Lei nods at this, finally putting a name to your new neighbour. The day seems to be going by normally, your sister left an hour earlier for her dance class, your grandmother up in her room embroidering flowers into her curtains. 

“y/n, sweetie?” Your grandmother calls from upstairs. “ What is it, mama?” You peek your head through her open door, she sat on her over-cushioned loveseat and to her right was her little embroidery drawer, filled with all sorts of embroidery materials. On top of that was a large empty glass and a carton of almond milk. “Would you be a dear and run to the grocery to buy me another carton of milk?” You nod your head yes and give her a small smile before heading out. You grab a grey hoodie from the floor when you pass by your room and slip it through your head before you reach the front door. On the way to the grocery, you notice someone across the street in a black and white windbreaker. He was constantly looking up and down from his phone and to the street signs, before letting out a semi-loud frustrated groan. 

Your feet seem to have grown a mind of their own as they bring you towards the troubled person. “Excuse me?” you call out once you’re within arm’s reach of the stranger. “Huh, oh y/n.” Maybe he wasn’t a stranger. “It’s just you,” San sighs in relief, glad that he bumped into a familiar face, “what’s up? Why are you here?” “I could ask you the same thing, you looked so frustrated.” You chuckle and shift your weight to one foot. “Ah, you see, I’m on the way to the grocery but I got lost.” He looks down at his shoes and scratches his nape. “Even with my phone I can’t seem to find my way.” He lets out a flustered chuckle, his ears slowly turning red. “Well, what a coincidence. I’m headed there too; I could show you the way, if you’d like.” You offer to the dark haired boy, making him look up to you with sparkling eyes. “Are you really? You’re not just saying that to not make me feel bad about getting lost right?” You laugh for a quick second before leading the way to the grocery, “No, I’m serious. Also, you’re new here so that’s understandable. If you’ve been here for a while and still got lost, I’d laugh at you for sure.” San rolls his eyes playfully and proceeds to follow you. 

“What’d you come here for anyway?” San asks you when you two enter the store. “Ah, my grandma ran out of almond milk and I guess I could buy some chips while I’m out.” You grab a small basket from the stack by the entryway and stop when you notice San reaching for the shopping cart. “What about you? You look like you’ve got a lot on your list.” He pulls one of the metal trolleys out of its train formation, noticing that one of the wheels got jammed and giving it a kick to get it free. “Oh, my parents are going to have a little dinner tomorrow evening, and I’m buying the ingredients.” “Ah, I see. Can I help you with your shopping?” You fall into step with San as he pushes the cart through the various aisles. “Sure, that would be great, thanks.” You help the boy with picking out ingredients all the while picking out a few chips and your grandma’s almond milk.

Throughout the first half of your shopping, San looks like he’s deep in thought, like he’s got something to say. “You okay there, buddy?” _What if he doesn’t want me to accompany him, it is pretty weird._ “I’m fine…” he quickly dismisses your curiosity. “Aye come one, if you have something to say, just let it out.” You puff out your chest and bump it twice with your fist, “I can take it.” Your dark haired companion just laughs it off and shakes his head, insisting that it’s not important. Your feet come to a halt and you purse your lips and furrow your brows. “Damn dude, if you didn’t want me to come with you, you should have ju–” “No it’s not that!” He stops too and gives you a tight smile. “It's really nothing, let’s just continue this veggie hunt.”

  
  


_You called me your friend that day, even if we just met. I was so happy, I had the honour of being your first friend in a new town…_

“A-actually,” San starts, a few minutes into your ‘veggie hunt’, his cheeks gaining a little bit of a reddish tint “why don’t you come over tomorrow night?” You raise your eyebrows in confusion, not really understanding what he means. “It’s gonna be a welcome dinner, you know, the thing tomorrow. My parents invited a few people from around the block. They said I could invite someone too.” You point a finger to yourself as if saying _‘you’re inviting me?’._ San understands this and sheepishly prods his tongue at the insides of his cheeks. “Yeah, I just thought it’d be nice to have a friend to talk to. It’s totally fine if you decline!” Your chest heats up when San says the F word. You two just met and he already considers you a friend. “No, I’d love that.” You smile at him softly, the boy in front of you breaks out a dazzling smile, emotions evident on his face. San exclaims in happiness and gives you a hug, which you return with the same energy. Now that San got that over with, his shoulders were no longer tense with nerves and he can now freely select whatever he needs.

Wait no, he still had one thing left in mind that he needs to ask you. So when you two reached the fruit stands San spoke up “By the way, earlier this morning–”. You collapse onto your knees, like the dramatic bitch you are, and hide your face in your hands. “Please don’t.” Your friend laughs at you while calmly placing a bunch of apples into his cart. “Please don't misunderstand this, I wasn’t looking into your room.” San turns to look at you and smirks, pointing an apple at you, the bright red fruit mocking you. “You were, actually, and you can’t deny it because I saw you with my own eyes.” He lets out a subtle chuckle that you couldn’t get a hold of and proceeds to walk down the aisle. “I swear, I didn’t even know that was your room.” San obviously doesn’t believe you, you can see it in his sharp eyes, there’s a glint of mischief in them. You spent the rest of your time trying to convince him that you weren’t a stalker and that you weren’t after his self proclaimed ‘precious, healthy liver’. 

_On the night of your ‘Welcome dinner’, I introduced you to my sister._

Your eyes go over your reflection as you adjust your sweater sleeves and tighten your half ponytail, to say you were excited was an understatement. The moment you got home that day, you rushed to inform your grandmother and Lei about the dinner. Your grandmother being the happiest hearing the news, since she, quote/unquote, “No longer needs to make dinner for two incompetent buffoons”. She wasn’t wrong about the buffoon bit, but she could have been nicer with her wording. San was busy the whole day, helping his family with all the preparations, but he managed to spare a few minutes of his time to have a little chat with you by their fence, like you did when you first met.

Your outfit was half-assed, you’ll admit, but there’s really no point in getting all dressed up, you’re literally just crossing the street and getting dinner; and turns out your entire family was on the same page. Your grandma wore one of her plain white dresses and put a shawl over her shoulders, yes she does look the classiest among you three. Lei put on your shared gray hoodie (the one you wore yesterday) and white washed jeans. “I wore that yesterday,” you point out to your sister who remained indifferent, (you’re starting to associate the word ‘indifferent’ with your sister) and replies with “They won’t notice, and if they do, why should I care?” as she tugs her hair into a messy bun. It works though, for her. Lei looks good in everything, you’ve accepted the fact that she used up all the good genes in your family, leaving you looking like a rat. But you tell yourself that it’s personality that counts (and you have a great personality…), and that there are some rodents that are cute. 

When the sun starts to set, you three start your trek to the Choi household. It was just across the street but all of you were lazy shits so the distance was already a lot to handle, that’s one thing you have in common. San opened the door for you with a large smile imprinted on his thin lips. “Y/n you came!” not gonna lie, he sounded like an eight year old on their birthday, but it was cute. “Of course. San this is my sister and grandma.” You introduce them to the boy and he greets them both politely, inviting you three into their humble abode. He leads you to their dining room where his family and a few of your neighbors sat on a long wooden table, a large variety of food displayed on the polished surface. 

Dinner then commenced, you situated yourself with San to your left and your sister to your right. You held a conversation with the cat-eyed boy for a few minutes before remembering that you had a sister and deliberately including her in the said conversation. Fortunately, the addition of another speaker didn’t make your exchange awkward and you were pleased with the way the night unfolded. After dinner, the adults opened up a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon and engaged in a discussion about politics, so San dragged you and Lei out to their backyard. There, he threw himself on the grass and patted the spot beside him. You plopped down onto the ground and your sister followed suit, “I’m really glad you came.” San’s eyes met yours and they had a certain glimmer in them that made your heart skip a beat. The twinkle of the stars reflected in his large chocolate irises. Lei cleared her throat and your eyes broke apart and turned to the aforementioned female. “I’m glad you invited us, San.” She gave him one of her dazzling smiles and you felt something deep inside you crack when you noticed the soft pink tinge on San’s ears.

Your bed springs made a soft creak when your weight bounced on top of it. Heaving a sigh, you stare up at the ceiling with a soft smile creeping up onto your lips. “San’s not that bad.” Lei announces from your vanity, pulling her scrunchie out of her long dark locks. “He’s cute too.” You feel that thing again, deep inside where your heart is supposed to be, a tiny crack. But you choose to pay no attention to that, “I know right.” you roll over onto your stomach and look at your sister’s reflection. She was in the middle of brushing her hair, untangling all the knots that developed, ‘ _she’s really pretty_ ’ you say to yourself. Your eyes shift over to your reflection, you notice that you share the same attributes with your sister, but something about her makes everything compatible. You honestly think that you should stop standing beside her, because it makes you look pathetic, but you love her too much to do that. 

* * *

_… and soon after that we became a trio. Nothing could separate us three._

It’s been a little over a year since that night at San’s house and ever since then your friendship has been evolving. You’ve been visiting each other frequently (considering that the other’s house is literally right across the street) and hanging out… the three of you. Of course your sister was always there, you wanted her to be there… did you really? Yeah you did. After months of constant mingling with San, you really couldn’t help yourself. It was inevitable. You fell for him and it turns out you weren’t the only one. You saw the way Lei’s eyes start to linger on San when he turns away to head back home, the smile that graces her pink lips whenever his name is mentioned in a conversation. There was a certain glint in her eyes whenever she’d spot him, even from the corner of her eyes. _Shit_ you can’t believe it, you saw it coming, yet you let yourself go and look at where that got you. 

“It’s realy cute, don’t you think?” Lei’s voice snapped you out of your reverie and you’re met with her bright eyes when you looked up. During the past couple of months you noticed a shift within Lei, she became less nonchalant and cared more about her looks. She was already good looking to begin with but with added efforts she was stunning, _haha I’m in danger_ . “San’s haircut, did you notice?” _Of course I did, I couldn’t take my eyes off him._ “Huh? Oh yeah, it was.” You two seem to have slipped into a somewhat weird routine where you two would stay in each other’s rooms and discuss your interactions with San, trying to one up each other. This time you were in Lei’s room, seated on top of her coffee coloured comforter with a matching boudoir pillow in your arms. “It really suits him.” She giggles into her hand and your mind fills up with San’s current hairstyle. You couldn’t stifle your laughter at the thought of San’s bowl cut. 

_“Where’s San? I can’t find him.” your eyes wandered all around his front yard, yet refusing to land on your friend. San just came back from getting a haircut and you couldn’t believe what you were seeing. In front of you stood a coconut, it’s eyes trained on you with furrowed brows. He did look cute, his bangs falling just below his eyebrows and the deep onyx colour complementing his pale complection. The cut emphasizing his defined cheekbones and sharp jawline. “Shut up, Mrs. Han told me it looked cute.” Mrs. Han was the elderly woman who lived a couple blocks from your street. “And you relied on her commentary?” you snicker. He lightly hits your shoulder and murmurs ‘Just wait when you get a bad haircut.’_

“He does look like a coconut though.” You and Lei share a laugh at the comparison. Admittedly, you found solace at your late night talks about the boy who lives right across the street. It meant that just because you two have feelings for the boy doesn’t mean that your relationship would be ruined. You can’t imagine what it would be like if your sister bond got tampered because of one boy. You could get rid of your feelings for someone and you’d be fine, but if something happened with your sister, she would still be your sister and it would be extremely uncomfortable. You’re glad that neither of you let your emotions get in between you. 

* * *

At this stage of your friendship you got used to San coming over to your house unannounced, it was a usual occurrence. What was unusual about this was that Lei was out today and San knew it. There have been times when you arrived home and San would already be on your white sofa, lounging with your sister, having a laugh at whatever joke the other said. These situations hurt your heart a tad bit (okay maybe not a bit) but you couldn’t do anything. You and your sister were competing for the attention of one boy and as the old saying goes, ‘all’s fair in love and war’. So to say you were surprised right now was an understatement. “Oh San, uhm Lei’s not here right now.” you tell him as if he didn’t know, he looks at you confused “uhm, yeah I know.” Now it was your turn to look confused, the tilt of your head was a dead giveaway. “I came to see you. You didn’t think that I came here for Lei, did you?” Deep inside his chest, San felt a fracture on his heart. Did he make it seem like he came here for Lei? “Well, I mean you’re always with Lei, so that’s what I thought.” Now that just made San feel shitty. He immediately rushed to your side and stared into your eyes with his deep apologetic ones. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” _He’s here for me?_ Your heart soars at the thought alone and you quickly look away to keep him from seeing the blush rising on your cheeks. “I never come here for Lei… and besides I’m closer to you than I am with Lei.” _Take that Lei,_ you couldn’t help it. At this moment you felt both triumphant and giddy, your heart skipping every other beat. Which might not be healthy, I reckon you should get a check up.

“Let me make it up to you,” San’s wide eyes attract yours once more, “Let’s go get pizza, my treat.” You raise a brow in disbelief, as if saying ‘do you even have money?’. A fraud look of hurt washes over San’s face “Are you calling me poor?! My mom just gave me my allowance, I have the money.” You give in with a chuckle and tell your friend to wait while you grab a jacket from your room and let your grandma know about her fourteen year old granddaughter’s whereabouts. “So what’d you wanna get?” you rack your mind for the various choices the pizzeria offers. “The pizzeria’s pineapple is pretty bad…” you murmur to yourself. San suddenly stops walking and exclaims “Excuse you?!” and you’re confused once again. “What do you mean ‘the pineapple’s bad’?” he (badly) imitates your voice and looks at you in disgust. “I meant exactly what you heard.” You turn back and continue walking, you really don’t understand why he’s making a fuss about it, the pizzeria really makes bad pineapple pizza, they would put pineapple juice all over the cheese and that would be too much. But pineapple pizza isn’t bad. 

San hurriedly catches up to you and grabs your elbow, making you face him. “I’m not saying you’re wrong, but I’m right.” He huffs out a breath through his nostrils and it’s honestly the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. “Pineapple on pizza is one of the greatest discoveries after sliced bread!” He exclaims, eyes glowing with passion, damn he loves his pizza. “The flavour the pineapple bits add to the pizza is phenomenal! It’s honestly so exotic! The pineapple is sweet and the cheese is salty, it’s the perfect balance!” He then proceeds to rave on and on about why the exotic mix of pizza toppings is one of his favourites. You don’t even notice that you’ve reached the pizzeria. “You get my point?” You nod bemusedly, “Yeah, pineapple on pizza _is_ good.” San’s proud face soon morphed into one of puzzled. If you liked the fruit then why did he just waste his breath in explaining what a wonderful combination it is. “I never said the flavour itself was bad,” you lean towards him and whisper in his ear “it's just the way this pizzeria makes it.” You pull away and smile “What did you think I said?” Flustered, San furrows his brows and gently shoves your shoulder, “I thought you said no to pineapple.”

You laugh and push his shoulder back, but this time with more force. San chuckles it off and you two head inside, finding comfort on a curved booth by the window and unanimously ordering a large pineapple pizza. Taking a slice out, you hold it in front of you, breathing in it’s not so good smell. “ _The flavour the pineapple adds to the pizza is phenomenal!_ ” you repeat his words from earlier, making the boy beside you shove your side and your pizza falling onto your plate. You cackle and shove him back for payback. Which soon leads to the both of you shoving each other playfully across the leather booths you two sat on. San got the _great_ idea of poking his fingers to your side, which he knows are ticklish, making you shoot all the way to the other side of the seat. You attack him with the same tactic and a mini tickle war breaks out, you didn’t want to cause much of a ruckus. In the end, San surrenders, pushing your wriggling fingers away from his side and leaving the two of you laughing like the idiots you were, sharing only one braincell. 

“The pizza’s cold.” You pout at San from beside you and glare him down in faux anger. “It’s not my fault.” your expression switches to disbelief, “Uhm, excuse you? You were the one who started shoving me.” To which San retorts with “That wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t tease me like that.” Before another argument broke out you called for a waiter and asked to have your pizza reheated. “By the way, it’s almost summer.” San starts, taking the first bite of his pizza. You nod and offer an attentive hum, eyes never leaving your second slice of pizza between your fingers. “Do you have any plans?” you think over it and shake your head ‘no’. “I usually just stay back home for the summer.” He nods at this and you ask if there was anything wrong, to which he just dismisses and takes another bite of his slice.

“That’s what happened.” You sighed dreamily into your large Dow Dow plush toy, your sister seated on the storage chest at the foot of your bed, listening carefully to every detail. Here you are again, your nightly discussions about your days involving Choi San, this time you were the one doing the talking while Lei looks at you eyes growing wider with each word you spoke. “Awh that’s so cute.” she clutches at her chest and coos at the way San raved on and on about his love for pineapples on pizza. “I swear, his eyes were literally sparkling the entire time.” Lei looks like she’s about to cry due to the amount of softness she has for Choi San, admit it we all are. You told her how you got cold on the walk back home and how San offered you his jacket, which now hung on the chair of your desk. Lei instantly got on her feet and almost pounced on the jacket. 

Lei had a shift in her. You knew her for not giving a single fuck about her clothes and tossing on whatever was closest to her. But now, it would take her almost an hour in picking out her outfit and styling her hair and particularly longer when San would be involved in your days. Her usual uncaring attitude remained but only if a certain onyx haired boy was out of the equation. 

* * *

“Do you have everything packed?” Your grandmother zipped up your sister’s duffel bag, which she has rearranged twice in the past five minutes. Lei was off to the dance camp she attended every summer for the past nine years. Your grandmother was doing this thing she does every year where she makes sure that your sister would never leave anything behind, “Toothbrush? Retainer? Rosin?” your sister would either nod or hum to what your grandmother was listing down. “Wart cream?” “Mama!” Lei exclaimed to your now laughing grandma and you chuckling slightly at the side. “You’re all ready.” Grandma holds Lei’s face in her palms and looks into her eyes solemnly, “Take care of yourself, Lei. I can’t believe you’re seventeen now, you grew up too fast.” She placed a kiss on her forehead and gave her a hug. “Mama, it’s just two weeks, I’ll be back soon.” She places a kiss on your grandma’s forehead in return and grabs her bags.

She turns to you and takes you into her arms before pressing a kiss above your left brow and whispering, “Make sure to tell me if ever San suddenly turns up.” And with that, she’s out the door. San disappeared a few days earlier, saying that he was going to go through some ‘development’ or whatever the fuck that meant. He didn’t tell any of you where he was headed or when he was coming back, he left with one promise cried out to you (Lei wasn’t there that time, surprisingly), it went like, “When I return, you will be pleased and impressed!”or something like that. Leaving you at home with no one to hang out with.

The following week, after some last minute sign-ups, you soon had your own summer workshop to attend. So you grabbed your newly bought supplies and readied yourself for the next three weeks. “Are you sure about this?” your grandma asks you, voice unsure if she should let you leave the house. Honestly, signing up for art camp really wasn’t what you had in mind, in fact you could barely even draw yet here you are paying $10 per hour for an art workshop, for the next three weeks. “Don’t worry, mama; I’m gonna be fine, it’ll just be a couple hours and I’ll be back home.” Your grandmother doesn’t look convinced but let’s you go anyway, reminding you of the banana milk she packed for you.

As of now, you were seated behind an easel, drawing pencil in between your fingers but your mind was blank. You had no idea how to start this, instead you just kept your focus on your muse for today. The bowl of fruits just sat there, menacingly, most especially the banana. You swear it was giving you the stink eye, it probably knew about the banana milk in your drawstring bag. After an intense staring competition with the yellow fruit (it obviously won), you looked away and your gaze landed on the boy in front of you. The pencil in his grip glided smoothly across the paper, leaving a light trail of graphite. You were in awe at his work, it looked just like the real thing. It was shaded in all the right places and his attention to detail almost made the pencil drawing pop out of the paper. Which reminds you, that pencil was yours, so technically you had some sort of contribution to that boy’s work.

_When you entered the room, it had roughly about nine people inside, you immediately rushed to the easel at the last row, not noticing the the male that sat at the end of that very row. A few minutes passed before the artist entered the room and went through a brief discussion of what you would be doing. The session soon started and everyone started pulling out their pencils and erasers so you followed suit. From the corner of your eye, you saw the boy from your row fidget in his seat; his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt. You turn to him and see that he has no pencils whatsoever so, being the kind person you are, you grab one of your extras and extend a hand out to him. He looks at you, puzzled, but accepts the art stick nonetheless and offers a small nod as a thanks._ He’s pretty cute. _He immediately starts his work and your eyes catch a small pink patch of skin at the corner of his left eye and temple._

Once the two hours finished, everyone submitted their pieces; you did so too, albeit reluctantly. Eyeing all of their papers as you pass them by, you’re starting to get the hint that you’re probably the only person in the room who has absolutely no artistic background whatsoever. The teacher looks at you worriedly, “Are you sure about this?” she asks you once a majority of the students were out the room. In your defense, you were really into abstract art, yep that was abstract. The woman in front of you then points out the absence of a specific yellow fruit. You’re unsure on how you should tell her how much it insulted you within the allotted time. “I’m allergic to bananas.” You blurt out as you take a sip out of the banana milk your grandmother packed for you. The boy from before snickered from behind you before wordlessly leaving the room, _he still has my pencil_ you mentally pout. “Sweetie, we could give you a refund.” your tutor offers, eyes filled with pity, she must be thinking that you were forced into this. So, with determined eyes you tell her that you want to be here ‘to learn something new for the summer’. She returns this with a pained smile, all of her soul leaving through her eyes. “I just want one summer to go by without a mess of a student.” The artist murmurs to herself once you’re out the door and hearing range, looking like she’s about to cry.

That night, after dinner, you got a call from your sister. “Oh my god.” her excitement filled voice enters your ears, making you pull away in shock. You quickly tell her to calm down and lower her voice, she does so and takes a few deep breaths. “San’s here.” Your mind blanked, “What do you mean? Where?”. Lei squealed in giddiness and you could practically feel the heat on her cheeks from the screen. “Here, in my dance camp.” _San? Dancing? He had two left feet?_ You were confused, he was a mess when it came to dancing. “He’s an awful dancer but he’ll get there.” So that’s what he meant by development. Something in your gut told you something would happen and it wouldn’t be in your favour.

* * *

Today was the day that your sister came back from her summer camp. You were thrilled to finally see her again, your feet quickly padded along the asphalt as you ran home from your own workshop. Today’s session went by fairly quickly, you weren’t paying that much attention to anything, your mind filled with thoughts of Lei and maybe a bit of San (nope not a bit). You couldn’t contain your heart as it started beating erratically, you were finally going to see (San) Lei after two weeks of drought. You could see them, Lei and San standing in front of your house, they seem to be talking about something. When you get within a closer range from them, you cup your hands around your lips and call out, “San-”. You skid to a stop, Lei and San turn to your direction and your eyes land to the space between them. Their hands intertwined with each other, their cheeks aflame and a shy smile set on both their faces. 

You couldn’t feel anything, your entire body became numb. Your heart fell into the pit of your stomach, but you were too dumbstruck to notice. You couldn’t even bring yourself to cry right now, you remain unresponsive with your eyes stuck on the way their fingers wove into each other. Lei calls out your name and your eyes shift to her eyes, you didn’t hear anything after that. You can see her lips moving, but there’s nothing but ringing in your ears. You see her move in for a hug but you just stood there like a corpse, your eyes meeting San’s concerned ones. ‘Are you okay?’ you read his lips but nothing reaches your ears, your mind completely blank and your senses malfunctioning. Throughout the night, you stayed in a state of shock, you started to hear things again but your attention was unstable; you were slipping in and out of it and it worried both Lei and San.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” Lei pops her head into your room where you sat on your bed, the entire thing still not fully sinking into mind. “When.” you asked her, your voice small and weak. “I asked him out a couple days ago.” She admits shyly, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. She looks so happy, you couldn’t find it in yourself to get mad at her. She wasn’t at fault, in fact no one’s at fault here. There’s nothing wrong here, everyone else was happy, Lei and San even happier so you should stop being a downer. Lei talks about what happened in the past few weeks, a smile permanently stuck on her face and it widens when she mentions San. Your heart sinks deeper at the sight of her lovestruck expression, you feel bad for not being happy for them. Lei puts you to bed and places a sweet kiss on your forehead, wishing you a good night. _God dammit now I’m the bad guy here_ , you thought to yourself as you lay on your bed. Your feelings all over the place and it finally sinks in. Tears spring into your eyes at 11:38 in the evening, you bring up your palms up to your lips to muffle out your cries. You stay like that throughout the night until you eventually tire yourself out and fall into a dreamless slumber.

It’s been a couple weeks since Lei came back and you were recovering from the pain, although slowly at least you were healing. It still hurt to see them together being so in love, but what could you do? That’s right, nothing but accept it. Right now, you’d rather be anywhere but here, because even if it hurt to look at them, their display was just too much. You couldn’t go five minutes without cringing at their exchange. Why did they call you here anyway? You were just on your way home from the workshop when suddenly Lei and San popped up from out of nowhere and dragged you in the direction of the pizzeria. Now you’re regretting not resisting because you’re currently seated in front of two idiots feeding each other pepperoni pizza. Which reminds you, why didn’t San get the pineapple? Then you remember that your sister absolutely despises the topping. 

_But I soon realized that three was a crowd, I couldn’t stand it. It soon became suffocating …_

You were honestly tired of both Lei and San, they kept bringing you with them on their dates and you can’t help but feel shitty every single time. It’s like they’re keeping you with them out of pity and you don’t want that. It was physically painful to watch them try to include you in every single one of their conversations, you appreciate the effort but if you’re not supposed to be part of that then you shouldn’t force it upon yourselves. On your end, you’ve been expanding your circle of friends because you realized that you shouldn’t rely on Lei so much. You’ve started to mingle with the people in your class but your goal is to talk to that boy who still has your pencil. 

It was your final week of workshop and you must admit, your skills improved greatly. It’s amazing what three weeks of workshop could do to you. Which reminded you, the boy – whose name, you learned, was Yeosang – still had your pencil, so you gathered up your courage and stopped him in the hallway. He looks at you, confused and frightened at first but he recognizes you and lowers his guard. “Hi, Yeosang, uhm…” you fidget with your fingers when you notice that he’s pretty cute. You knew that already, but he’s even cuter up close. “You have my pencil.” Yeosang’s eyes widen and he quickly reaches into his bag to grab the wooden object and hand it to you. “Oh uh, sorry I forgot.” he apologizes, his voice absolutely heavenly and boyish. You grab the pencil and make a run for it, hoping he doesn’t notice the light blush that dusts across your cheeks.

* * *

It’s been almost four months since they got together and Lei and San are still trying to keep you with them. Today, Lei told you to get ready because San was going to take you ‘two’ out for dinner, but did you? No, you were fed up with them forcing you into their dates, so when San arrived you told both of them off. “I’m tired, I don’t want to go.” You crossed your arms and glared at the couple from the stairs. “What do you mean?” Lei raised a brow at you and scoffs, “quit joking, let’s go.” You shook your head and raised a brow back, “I’m not joking,” San puts a hand on Lei’s shoulder and whispers that they should go. “Listen, now’s not the time to throw your stupid tantrums. Get your ass up and let’s go.” Lei raises her voice and sternly glares back at you. “No, Lei, I’m not throwing a ‘stupid tantrum’, I’m tired.” Your sister pokes her cheek with her tongue and scoffs once more. “Why are you tired, huh?” Lei continues to provoke you, San grabs her elbow and tries to pull her away. But Lei was stubborn, she shoves his hand away and takes a step in your direction. “I’m not in the mood, Lei.” you roll your eyes and start to trek up the stairs. Your sister huffs and runs to grab your arm. “Why are you being such a pain right now?!” You furrow your brows and tug back your arm. “You don’t need to bring me along all of your dates.” You seethe through your teeth and Lei is looking at you with confusion brewing in her dark irises. “What do you mean?” 

“Why do you still keep me here, you two can just go by yourselves. You two are obviously fine with that.” you look up at your sister with sad eyes. “We don’t want you to… feel left out.” Lei starts, her eyes softening in sympathy. “See, I’ll feel worse if you only want me with you out of pity.” You sigh softly and look away from her doe eyes. “But that’s not—” “I know you don’t mean to. But with how you two are doing, it just feels that way.” Your eyes flicker to San who stood by the door awkwardly, playing with the hem of his shirt. Lei pulls away and apologizes, you just smile and insist on them going. She gives you one last sad smile and presses a kiss on your cheek before nodding and heading out the door. San gives you one last glance and turns away to weave his fingers into Lei’s and your heart starts to hurt once more.

_It’s okay_ you told yourself late in the night, engulfed in darkness and under your covers _I never stood a chance, it’s okay_. 

_I was fine, I am, and will always be. No need to worry about me, I’m just glad that you’re happy. But more importantly, thank you for making Lei happy. This is the happiest I’ve seen her._

_Sincerely yours,_

_y/n of 2012_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this can be found on my tumblr (@talkbykhalid) and on my wattpad (@bIushers, notice: the 'L' is actually a capital 'i')


	3. to: kim hongjoong.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To: Kim Hongjoong
> 
> Your college senior who had kind eyes and took care of you on the night of your first party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ello tis me agen back with a new installment of tatbilb (yayy) i really powered through this hhh i hope yall enjoy this! also please leave a comment on how i can improve my writing! thank you!

_ To: Kim Hongjoong _

_ Hi, I really don’t know how to write love letters… but it’s the effort that counts, right? _

Your eyes roam around your room in search of something to do, anything. You were desperate at this point, Lei and San were out -probably on a date, and Yeosang was supposedly ‘busy’ making an english essay and that he needed peace and quiet or else he will, quote/unquote, “boil your teeth and force you to drink the broth.” Sometimes you missed the shy Yeosang who you first met in your summer workshop. After years of being his friend you learned that Yeosang wasn’t as sweet as you first perceived him as. He was a bitch, through and through. With his words that were sharp and snarky, he always left salty comments on basically anything he could think of. But to be completely honest, you wouldn’t have it any other way. No matter how much of a bitch he is, you know for a fact that Yeosang cares for you and that underneath all the bullshit he says, he doesn’t intend to hurt you.

Finding nothing to cure your boredom, you fall back onto your bed. “Ow, fuck.” you curse out and sit back up, grabbing the mobile device your head just made contact with. You lift up your phone and check the time when the screen lights up, 2:07 pm, your eyes fall onto Yeosang’s smile on the picture you set as your lockscreen. His light brown locks cascaded down his forehead and ended just below his eyebrows. You stood beside him, face contorted into an extremely wacky one. Your pupils pulled together, fingers tugging at the corner of your lips and your tongue sticking out at the camera. 

That day, Yeosang appeared on your doorstep and dragged you out the pop up carnival in town. You two had a great time, the rides making your adrenaline rush and increasing the release of dopamine in your brains. At the end of the day, you suggested going into a photobooth and taking a few silly pictures in memory of this spontaneous outing. You contorted your face into foolish expressions during every photo and only realizing that Yeosang wasn’t following your lead when you step out of the confines of the booth. You now had two strips of film in your hands and a look of irritation spread across your face. Yeosang only laughed as you cursed at him, his husky laughter that usually made your heart flutter, did not have the same effect this time. For every image you took you had a ridiculous face on while Yeosang flashed a dazzling smile to the camera.

Your shoulders sunk, it has only been two minutes since you last checked your phone and you were  _ this  _ close to dying of boredom. You tossed the gadget to the end of the bed and fell onto your pillows, your pupils staring up at your plain white ceiling.  _ What to do, what to do…  _ you were bored out of your mind, a nap maybe?  _ Again? I had about four naps in the past hour.  _ You stood back on your feet, only to fall back on the bed. You repeated the action a few more times before deciding that you were a total idiot and may or may not have lost your mind. “Yeosang, I’m losing my mind.” you whined, already knowing what Yeosang’s reply would be, ‘you can’t lose something you don’t have.’ You threw yourself onto the floor and rolled around on the carpeted surface, at one instance you found yourself rolling under the bed and coming out of the other side, you needed medical help. 

A growl erupted from your stomach and you whined once more,  _ I don’t wanna get up _ , you pout. Alas, you had no choice but to crawl out of your room and down the stairs, kitchen bound. Your grandma spotted your hunched form trot towards the kitchen and paid no mind, it’s not like there was anything out of the ordinary. You made your way towards your snacks cabinet and blindly grabbed whatever made contact with your skin. In this case, it was a bag of honey butter chips, the yellow bag getting knocked down by your wrist and falling into your face. You expected that, a disappointed sigh escapes your lips and you head back up to your room.

Everything remained the same, except this time with a snack; you fell back on your bed, but with a snack. You rolled on the ground but with a snack. You checked your phone for the hundredth time, but with a snack. When you were through with the bag of potato slices, you went back to moping and whining about being bored. After an hour of doing nothing, you finally had enough, essay or not you were going to call Yeosang, he could never resist you (spoiler: he did). Your eyes scanned over the multiple apps displayed on your screen before finally landing on the green phone icon, the pad on your index finger made contact with the screen and tapped Yeosang’s contact (eboy 🤡) at the top of your list. Right after the first ring started the call was declined, followed by you receiving three consecutive messages in one second.

Interesting. Stock images (with watermarks) of teeth, pliers, and a pot of boiling water. Regarding how fast he sent them, you were sure he prepared those beforehand, were you really that predictable? You purse your lips and puff out your cheeks, slowly lowering your phone onto your bed, genuinely concerned for your wellbeing if ever you continued. Your lifeline just declined your call and you were so close to giving up, almost all of your hope was gone… that was until your bedroom door burst open and Lei barged in, the whole room lighting up with her bright aura. “Yes, I have returned, my dear sister.” You immediately get up and cry out in relief. Finally, a cure to your current disease.You rush to your sister and wrap your arms around her waist, your face pressing onto her belly. “I was so bored.” you drag out the last syllable to emphasize just how much pain you went through. She raises a brow and notices the absence of a certain brunet from the room, she asks about Yeosang’s whereabouts and you tell her about his english essay. “I thought you said he couldn’t resist you.” Lei raises a cheeky brow at you while she undoes the braid in her hair. “English over y/n, I guess.” you sigh dejectedly and look up at your sister with puppy dog eyes, silently asking for her to entertain you. She all but sighs and pulls you onto your feet and out of the house. 

Your eyes were illuminated by the various fairy lights that hung between each streetlamp as they roamed around the street. The scent of numerous delicacies wafted through the air, a different one coming from each stall and coming together to create this delicious aroma. Lei watches you out of the corner of her eye, it’s been a while since you two visited this place. You always try to come here every fall break because the scenery was stunning, the amber and ochre leaves on the trees slowly glide down to the pavement. Especially during this time of the day, it was nearing dusk, the sun slowly starting to set and everyone scrambling to get their lights on. Lei smiled at your blissful expression, your wide orbs wandering from stall to stall. 

After a few minutes of walking, you finally made up your mind and approached a hotdog stall. You asked for a mozzarella corn dog and potato corn dog for Lei, but before you could pull out your wallet, your sister was already handing the vendor her money. You look at her with soft eyes and a tiny smile, she playfully rolls her lovely caramel eyes and takes the box from your hands. “You can thank me by buying the drinks.” You, being the angelic little sister you were, agreed willingly. Oblivious to the devious smirk that formed on Lei’s pink lips.

You were unsure of what you should be feeling right now. Should you be shocked at the prices? Or should you be mad at your sister who brought this upon you. You weren’t surprised Lei pulled one of these on you right now, she just stood there looking triumphant. If she wasn’t your sister, you would have stomped her in the face-- wait no. If your grandma wouldn’t murder you then you would do so, without hesitation. You look over the prices one more time, hoping that they would lower (even just a bit) when you look back at them. It was no good, the numbers stayed the same, the eights didn’t become threes and the nines didn’t flip into sixes. With a rub of your temples, you pull out your blush coloured wallet and take out a few paper bills. In exchange of your five paper bills was just a handful of silver coins.

Lei happily sips on her bubble tea and stops to chew on a boba. You stalked behind her with a sour expression, the blue lemonade in your hands not giving the same amount of joy as the bubble tea did to Lei. You could feel the plastic cup turn sad at your thoughts. At least it saved you a couple of bucks, so your lemonade can stop being blue about it (pun intended). Lei found a bench on the sidewalk and decided that you two should take a seat. You two sat there for a while, talking about your classes while munching on your snacks. “San asked about you, by the way.” Lei mentions, taking the final bite on her corn dog and dusting off her fingers. Ah San, you remember how whipped you were for him. And how much it hurt when they broke the news to you. You remember those nights when you cried yourself, using your palms to seal in your sob as to not disturb your household. Thoughts of not being enough for the only boy that mattered in your life, it was too much for your little sixteen year old heart to take.

“And what did you say?” Your words unclear as you were biting into your stick of cheese and withdrawing, watching the cheese connecting your lips and the treat. “Oh you know, the usual: you, still being single, etcetera.” You were so done with her, you considered moving away and finding a real family, one that cares for your wellbeing and emotions.You once shared your master plan with Yeosang but he only replies with,  _ “sorry to burst your bubble, but no family would want you.”  _ You swear, once you get a sexy big tiddie boyfriend you’re going to make Lei eat her words. You take in a deep breath and slowly turn to Lei, “I swear to God, Lei, when the world’s hottest CEO asks for my hand in marriage, I won’t ask you to be my maid of honour.” Lei faux a look of hurt and wipes her nonexistent tears. She whines about how she thought you loved her and blah blah blah just dramatic Lei things. “But really though,” she looks up at you, no trace of the previous drama she just showed on her face, “I’d do so well as your maid of honour.” You roll your eyes and scoff, “as if, we all know I’d be getting Yeosang as my maid of honour.” She shoots you a knowing smirk as she gets up from her seat and starts walking, with you following suit. “We all know Yeosang’s gonna be the one waiting at the altar.” she sniggers as your face explodes into a deep shade of scarlet. 

At your silence, Lei continues her remark. “You two have been friends for about four years now, it’s about time you ask him out.” Your face turns crestfallen, “Again? You know what happened last time…” your voice quivered as memories of that fateful night resurfaces from the back of your mind. Your sister notices the melancholic shift in the atmosphere and quickly reaches an arm out to hold onto you. “People change, y/n, you just have to try again.” You nibble at your bottom lip and contemplate your sister's words before finally coming to a conclusion that you couldn’t make the same mistake again.

\- 

“By the way,” Yeosang looked up at you from the curb as you sat on his skateboard and rolled back and forth. “Yeri invited me to this party,” you start slowly, observing his expressions. Yeri was this really pretty girl you shared english class with. She just so happens to sit beside you and you two share a few friendly conversations before your lectures begin. Apparently, friendly enough to have her invite you to a party her sister, Joohyun, was holding this weekend. “And you’re telling me this, why?” Yeosang looks up at you confused, “if you’re asking for my permission, you don’t need to.” You huffed and shifted your position, the denim of your jeans rubbing against the rough surface of his skateboard. “No, idiot, I’m asking you to come with me.” Yeosang plants his hands on the asphalt and leans back on his arms, eyes squinting as he considers the thought. “It’s not that far, just a couple streets from campus.” you add on in hopes of convincing him. The brown-haired boy in front of you shakes his head no and you whine out in defeat. “Please, I need a ride.” you pout at him, revealing your true intentions. Your friend breaks out a mischievous smile, showcasing his set of pearly whites, “So you admit that you only needed my car.” Your pout and straighten your legs to lightly knock him on the shin. “Yes but, you could join if you want.” Yeosang gets up and dusts off his pants, holds out his hand and pulls you onto your feet. He kicks the board up into a vertical position and holds it upright, “I don’t wanna go, but I’ll give you a ride.” Your eyes brighten at his words and you immediately pull him into an embrace, blurting out many ‘thank you’s. 

Your eyes scan over your figure in the mirror and nod in satisfaction at your current fit. The baby blue mesh top (one you bought from an instagram fashion store) you wore complimented your complexion and the high-waisted baggy jeans you paired them with accentuated your waist greatly. You were pretty proud of yourself. “I’m back.” Lei ran to you with a pair of black leather creepers in hand and instructed you to get your sheer socks. Maybe you had a little bit of help from Lei… Okay, Lei put together the entire outfit, because, admit it, you’d be a mess if she didn’t. Initially, you decided on putting on a plain black shirt and tucking it into some white shorts you found lying on the ground. Luckily, Lei entered your room just in time to save you. “This won’t do.” she exclaimed and started a dialogue about how first impressions are important, especially since this would be your first college party.

“You look great.” Yeosang comments as you hop into the passenger seat of his 2016 ford focus and pull out the seatbelt. You lean back onto the white seats of his car and sigh out a thanks before giving credit to your sister’s hard work. Yeosang starts driving down the street and with your directions, the sleek black sedan pulls up in front of a large house. Your eyes were basically glued at the scene in front of you, music blasting through the walls and a kaleidoscope of colours pouring out of the windows of the residence. “Remember,” a soft deep voice pulls you out of your trance, “always keep your cup up to your chest and never accept anyone’s invitation upstairs.” Your best friend warns you as he looks at you with strict eyes, “and just ring me if anything goes wrong or if you need a ride back.” Your heart flutters at his words and you chuckle softly,  _ you’re so cute, Yeosang _ . “Don’t worry, I’m a responsible person.” The brunette in the driver’s seat doesn’t believe you, not one bit, so you roll your eyes at his expression. “Alright, dad. I’ll take care.” your voice dripped of sarcasm, making Yeosang’s glare harden and you raising your hands up in defeat. You promise to keep his warnings in mind and hop out the car after giving him a tight hug.

Yeri met you at the door right after you sent her a simple ‘hey’, she led you through the mass of people in the living room and into the kitchen where an array of finger foods and drinks were displayed. “I’m glad you came,” she smiles at you softly before gesturing at the table and telling you to help yourself. “You look great by the way.” You smile sheepishly and tuck a stray lock of hair behind your ear, you return the compliment and motion at her oversized sweater and thigh high boots, she looks effortlessly stunning in her simple attire. Yeri opens her mouth to say something, but a voice from behind you calls out her name. You turn around and your heart speeds up when your eyes meet a pair of sharp dark ones. “Oh Joohyun, this is y/n. I told you about her earlier.” The woman in front of you enchants you with a dazzling smile and your heart stops beating all together. Her pale skin contrasting her all black ensemble that fit her curves perfectly and the faux fur jacket that hung on her elbows. You were absolutely speeches, only managing to watch the two extremely pretty siblings exchange a few words before Joohyun eventually drags Yeri away. The latter, telling you to enjoy yourself for the time being.

You look around the kitchen and spot a bright red cooler on the floor beside the counter. Reaching into the cold pool of ice and water, your fingers come in contact with a cool metal surface. Grasping the can, you pull it out and inspect the white and blue exterior.  _ Michelob Ultra _ , you hum to yourself and nod in content,  _ Joohyun had good taste _ . Having turned nineteen, you were finally legal to drink in Korean terms, and so far, the best you’ve tasted was Miller High Life but Michilob Ultra came right after that. You pop open the can and listen to the satisfying fizz that came along with it. The can is lifted up to your lips and you take a sip out of the fermented drink. The smooth and refreshing taste washing over your tongue as you gulp down the mouthful and releasing a gratifying ‘ahh’ right after. Your legs keep you where you are, chugging down the can and fetching another one. A couple people from your class approach you and strike up a decent conversation, but it’s either you run out of topics or they’re called to other places when your chat ends. 

_ We met in a really uncomfortable circumstance. It was hot, suffocating, and my mind was hazy.  _

A tall figure approached your hunched form on the counter, disguising themselves by pretending to grab a can of beer. You look over and eye him curiously, he wore a bright red flannel jacket over his Gucci shirt and honestly it was hurting your eyes. The contrast between the extremely vibrant colour and the dim lights of the kitchen is doing something to your retinas, he looked great though. The male notices your stare and shifts his eyes to meet yours, his deep onyx ones trapping yours in an intense gaze. “Hey,” he places an elbow on the counter and nods at you casually and you pay heed to his thick eyebrows that starkly juxtaposed his pale complexion. “I’m Dongyeol.” he clinks his now opened can with yours following his introduction. You introduce yourself and take a sip of your beer, eyes refusing to meet Dongyeol’s stare. “Why’s this pretty lady standing here all alone?” a corner of his lip lilts up with a suggestive undertone to his voice.  _ Oh so he was  _ that  _ type of guy, _ “Nothing in particular.” you shift your weight from leaning onto the counter and onto your feet. “So you wouldn’t mind if I took you upstairs and,” his eyes roam down your body pausing near your chest area before continuing their journey. You felt disgusted and violated, you scowled at his act and saw yourself out the kitchen.

“See people like you are the reasons why I stay in kitchens.” Dongyeol follows you and doesn’t seem to get the hint that you were telling him off. “So you want me to have you in the kitchen?” His eyes glint at the change of scenery and lighting.  _ The audacity of this bitch _ , you roll your eyes and huff. “No, Dongyeol, leave me alone.” He then pulls the most fuckboy line with the most fuckboy tone known to man, “you don’t mean that, baby.” The urge to slap a bitch is strong, but you hold back and settle on trying to lose the man behind you. Somehow you managed to find yourself in the middle of the crowd of dancing people, sweaty bodies rubbing against each other in an attempt to move to the beat of the EDM music played on the bluetooth speaker, at least you lost Dongyeol. You try your best to sway your hips with the music, you really did, but you just couldn’t seem to go thirty seconds without a sticky figure bumping into you. It was getting suffocating, being in the middle of a horde of clammy bodies, you struggled to keep your head up above the heads of those around you but to no luck. At this point you desperately wanted to leave this crowd, pushing against other people’s perspiring skin just to find a way out of this swarm of drunken young adults trying their best to bust a move. Despite your efforts, you didn’t seem to be getting closer to egressing instead you were being swept even deeper into the crowd.

  
  


A warm hand suddenly shot out from somewhere and grabbed your elbow, your eyes widened in panic as it started to pull you out of the crowd. Part of you was thankful that you were finally leaving this mess of hormones, but the other (predominant) part of you was scared, regrets starting to flood into your mind and your heart racing as you struggled within the stranger’s grasp. “Woah calm down.” a calming voice filled your ears once you were free from the mob of college students and the hand on your elbow shifted onto your shoulder. Your back pressed against his chest and you feel the thick corduroy of his jacket through your shirt. You slowly turn your head towards the male behind you still partly shaken, but that quickly dissipates at the sight of his beautiful smile. You were in awe at how endearing his smile was, it felt as if angels come down from heaven only whenever he smiles. He was absolutely heavenly. “You looked like you needed some help.” His voice was absolutely charming and it went straight for your heart, your mind fizzed out for the second time this night, and this concerns the man.

Ring embellished fingers come up to run through his vibrant red locks, he chuckles awkwardly and asks if you were okay. Out of all the red things you saw today, his hair is most definitely the best. From the lack of response, he assumes that you didn’t hear anything he said due to the loud music. Obviously he was wrong, you hear every word but you couldn’t speak, your mouth refusing to form words and only mustering a small nod when he gestures to get the hell out of there. “I thought you needed some help, so I pulled you out.” The man laughs his angelic little laugh that does a number on your heart when you two end up on the front porch. “I’m Hongjoong, by the way.” he holds out his hand for you to shake and you take it while introducing yourself in return. He tests out saying your name and your heart absolutely loves the way each syllable rolls off his tongue. “So y/n, I saw what happened in the kitchen.” Just mentioning that gave you a headache, making you comb your fingers through your hair and massage at your scalp. Hongjoong chuckles and your heart does another flip. “Ignore Dongyeol, he was probably drunk off his ass.” “You know him?” you question with your eyes widening just a fraction. “Yeah, he’s in my department.” Unconsciously, you nod at his words even though none of his words was processed by your mind. You notice the absence of a metallic can in your hands and you remember that you left it on the counter. “Damn, I need a beer.” you move to get up on your feet but Hongjoong stops you and pulls out a pack of Miller High Life. “Tada~” he sang, presenting it to you. “No way, this is my favourite.” The red head beside you places a hand on your forearm and exclaims that you two share a favourite. 

_ You held back my hair while I retched out the contents of my stomach that night. You listened to my drunk rambles and kept it all a secret.  _

You two stayed there for the majority of the night, talking about anything that came into mind. At one point you two talked about astrology and how stupid it was, neither of believed it but you two agreed that they were accurate sometimes. And by midnight, you two seem to have gone through two six-packs of Miller High, you having finished about five cans and considering that you were pretty tipsy when you came out here, you were downright wasted now. Giggling at whatever Hongjoong said (or did he actually say anything?), you fell onto the grass face first. The red haired man cackled at your stupidity before falling onto the ground himself. “Say,” you manage to say through your fit of giggles, “why is your hair an annoying red colour?” Hongjoong gets up on his elbows and looks at the back of your head insultedly, “Annoying? Excuse you my hair is the most calming sight there is.”

“Sure because firetrucks are bright red to tell people to ‘calm down’ and not to ‘get the fuck out of the way’.” You roll your eyes and flip over to lie on your back. The male beside you lets out a tiny chuckle, he tells you that he impulsively dyed his hair such a distracting colour because in his friend group he was the smallest and so many people overlooked him. Such a shame really, he was exceptionally handsome, his jawline was sharp and defined, the bridge of his nose complimented his profile perfectly and those scorching eyes. Damn. So now, his bright red locks attract the most attention in his circle of friends and sometimes manage to overshadow them. It was a really great story about doing your best to get the recognition you deserve, but your drunk ass had to choose this very moment to bring up the snacks you gulped down in the kitchen. Scrambling to your feet, you ran to the bushes and hunched over the wedge Hongjoong was right behind you and held your hair and patted your back.

_ You stayed by my side until the sun rose up. I feel kind of bad though, you spent your time babysitting a first time party goer rather than enjoying the party. Sorry. _

You passed out on Hongjoong after throwing up and he has to carry you all the way back into the house in search of Yeri. Which leads us to present time, you waking up to pristine white walls and crisp white sheets,  _ this isn’t my room _ , you look around and notice that you were still in your outfit last night but your face felt light, as if the makeup Lei put on you was washed off. But that wasn’t important, you were having a splitting headache and you just wanted God or whatever being is up there to either heal you or open up a you-sized sinkhole to end your suffering. A knock came from the door and it only made your headache worse, but since you were in uncharted territory you had to answer nicely, “Who is it?” “It’s me, Hongjoong.”  _ Hongjoong? What the fuck is a Hongjoong?  _ You didn’t go down on anyone did you? Your eyes widen in panic and you peek under your shirt to check if there were any marks or sore areas, luckily, there were none. “Who?” The doorknob then twisted and in came a bright red strawberry, the abominable colour triggering something in your mind and all the memories of last night came flooding in. “Oh Hongjoong it’s you.” He snickers and wordlessly hands you a glass of water and some ibuprofen. You swallow the pills and lay back onto the bed, “What time is it?” you groan out and reach for your phone that was conveniently placed onto the bedside table.

“Eight something.” The strawberry offers you a hand and gets you up and off the bed. You’re met with numerous notifications from both Lei and Yeosang, oh look San texted you a couple times too. Your fingers blindly dials your best friend's contact and presses the device to your ear. “Are you still at the house?” Yeosang’s concern filled voice reaches your ears and you groan out a ‘yes’, the male on the other side of the call tells you to stay still and hangs up. “Listen, I’m sorry for ruining your night, Hongjoong.” You finally remember his presence in the room and give him an apologetic smile. He waves it off and reassures you that he had a fun night. “But really though, you should have enjoyed the party inside. I made you babysit me.” a pout forms on your lips and Hongjoong reaches over and pats your head. “It’s fine, the party was kind of boring anyway.” You weren’t convinced, “Are you sure?” The male rolls his eyes and, with a hand on his hip, he sighs, “If you really feel bad, then go get lunch with me.”

You pause at his straightforwardness, mind completely sober, and your eyes drift to Hongjoong’s face. The corner of his thin lips lift up into a smug smirk, knowing that you couldn’t turn him down. You run your tongue across your teeth and scoff, “Sure, it’s not like I have a choice.” your phone then pings and its a text from Yeosang, telling you that he was in front of Yeri’s house. You make your way down the stairs and meet the aforementioned female. “Y/n, are you okay?” She comes in for a side hug, which you hesitantly return because you probably reek of alcohol and bile. “Hongjoong said you were as good as dead last night.” So much for good first impressions, you were positive that people labeled you as the lightweight freshman after last night. “It was  _ that _ bad?” you wince before expressing your gratitude towards your friend and quickly excusing yourself out of the house. 

“You didn’t accept anyone’s invite upstairs did you?” your best friend eyes your haggard appearance, eyes instantly filling with worry. “I wasn’t invited, per se.” That didn’t help the emotions in Yeosang’s eyes as they turned angry, the restrained rage burning within his dark irises. “What do you mean?” he seethes between clenched teeth, the grip on the steering wheel tightens and the veins in his arms become more prominent. “It’s nothing, I passed out last night and someone took me upstairs.” And Yeosang absolutely loses it. “Oh my fucking god, are you okay?!” he practically shrieks and grabs your shoulders from the driver's seat. “They didn’t touch, did they?” One of his hands made its way to your jaw, holding your face oh so gently. His deep umber eyes start quivering, worry evident on his handsome features. Unconsciously, you lean into his touch and your hand reaches up to rest on the back of his own. “I’m okay Yeosang,” you reassure him, somber eyes gazing into his fierce ones, “nothing happened. I promise you that.” The brunette huffs and falls back into his seat, arms going limp beside him. “You better not be lying. I swear to God, if I found out that somebody laid a finger on you,” his slim fingers find their way onto the steering wheel and aggressively grasps the leather, eyes looking straight ahead into the pavement, “I will commit a crime.” 

A small smile creeps up onto your chapped lips and you let out a quick chuckle, leaning your forehead onto the window, “That’s sweet but take me home first.” The soreness begins to settle into your muscles and the fatigue knocks you right back to sleep. “We’re here.” Yeosang announces as if he was an uber driver, at your lack of response, he turns his head to you and sees you dead to the world. Your best friend clicks his tongue playfully, “What am I going to do with you?” After a few moments of melancholy, Yeosang decides to finally shake you awake. “Wake up, ugly, we’re here.” Your dark orbs flutter open and groggily look out the window, “So it seems.” you hum in acknowledgement but fall back into the seat. Yeosang was a couple steps ahead of you, knowing that you wouldn’t leave the vehicle without any assistance. Now, with an arm around his shoulders, you two limp over to your front door and Yeosang calls out your sister’s name, given that he’s got his hands full now. 

Of course, your neighbour just chose this moment to walk by your house, and by neighbour I mean San. “Oh shit, what happened to her.” he ran up to your staggering form and threw your left arm over his shoulders. “God decided that he's finally had enough of her.” Yeosang huffs, thankful that part of the weight on his shoulders has been lifted. “Fuck you.” you sneer at the boy and get up onto your feet, shrugging your arms off their shoulders, “I can stand, thank you very much.” Lei busts open the front door and throws her body onto yours, “You bitch, I was so worried.” Her wide caramel eyes peer into your darker ones before grabbing you by the shoulders and violently shaking you back and forth. “You stupid wet sock! Why didn’t you contact any of us!” Yeosang grabbed your hips and San at Lei’s shoulders, successfully pulling you out of the older’s grasp. You stumbled in Yeosang’s arms, a little woozy from your sister’s actions before falling onto the ground completely. 

Yeosang, San, and Lei stood in the living room while you were knelt by your grandmother’s feet, arms held straight up in the air. “I’m so tired.” Your grandma massages her temples with one hand and holds a slipper in the other, “I already have one raging college student,” she gestures at Lei who looks insulted, “I definitely don’t need another one.” The elderly woman turns on her heels and makes a beeline for the kitchen, yelling out “five more minutes and you can put your arms down” over her shoulder. “So, you went to your first ever college party, got blackout drunk, and went home in the morning.” San plops down on the carpet beside you, a cat like smirk imprinted on his thin lips. “Wonderful, San. Thank you for summarizing my experience.” You roll your eyes at the blonde male who just snickers at your misfortune. “I expected more from you, y/n. Grandma almost filed for a missing person report.” Lei looks down at you and shakes her head disappointedly, as luck would have it, Yeosang came to your rescue. “As if you didn’t go through worse.” Your best friend retorts and approaches you. 

When Lei attended her first college party, she was at a frat house and had gotten blackout drunk, when she woke up she was face down on the front lawn, her body twisted in a way your muscles would have nightmares from. Plus she happened to misplace her phone and what followed was the worst month of her life. She had to wait for nearly two weeks to get a new phone and while that happened, a scandalous video of your sister circulated around social media. When you reviewed the video, San was in shock, well all of you were but San mostly. He couldn’t believe his eyes, Lei was there on the carpeted floor squirming at what seems to be an attempt to do the worm. Instead she looked like a fish out of water, that wasn’t all, she later attempted to B-boy, her slender limbs flailing around aimlessly, whacking various people in the face. The room erupted into a fit of laughter, San having fallen off your bed after laughing too hard; Yeosang nearly suffocating himself with the pillow he used to muffle his cries and your eyes were tearing up, accompanied by your high pitched wheezing and cachinnation. Lei stood at the foot of your bed pouting angrily at the three laughing lots. 

Lei now holds the same scowl she had the year prior and mocks Yeosang’s words in a high pitched whine. The latter pulls you onto your feet by your arms, “Listen, I know it hasn’t been five minutes yet,” and theatrically pinches his nostrils closed, “but, sweetie, you’re stinking up the whole place.” Your shoe comes into contact with Yeosang’s denim clad shin making him yelp, “Go to hell.” you stomp up the stairs and into your bedroom and shutting the door, your eyes leering at each corner of your room before picking up your collar and taking a whiff inside.  _ Wow I really need a bath _ , one by one, your clothes end up in the hamper and you whisk yourself into the shower; lathering up as much of your jasmine body wash to scrub on your skin. After your quick shower, you put on a pair of cotton shorts and a sweater you found strewn on top of your desk chair, your hands absentmindedly drying your hair with a towel. Your orbs land on your phone on top of the covers but the small piece of paper slipped inside your phone case is what catches your eyes. From between the pressed flowers, you could make out black ink scribbles on it.

Out of curiosity, you pop your phone out of the clear casing and find out that it was a number, more specifically Hongjoong’s number, or that’s what the writing said; ‘call me when you find this (;’ was scrawled onto the paper in his semi messy penmanship. You fall onto your bed and start typing out the written number and hitting the call button. It rings for a few moments before Hongjoong’s charming voice fills your ears, “I was wondering how long it would take you to notice.” he says with a chuckle, the smirk on his lips radiating through the screen. “Well I had to go through a grey haired goblin first, so…” You two share a quick laugh and once it dies down, Hongjoong speaks again. “So how does tomorrow sound?” Your mind, still in slight shambles, fails to pick up what the male was referring to so you respond with a confused hum. “Lunch? How about we go out tomorrow for lunch.” the puzzle pieces in your mind fit back together and you smack yourself upright in the head, “Oh yeah, right. Sure tomorrow sounds great.” Your cheeks were beginning to gain a bit of colour as Hongjoong chortles and comments on how cute you were, before bidding adieu and hanging up. You just scored yourself a date with a cute guy nonetheless. 

Your bare feet padded down the carpet as you rushed down the stairs and into the living room where three people sat chatting on the sofa. They all turned to you, startled at your excited state, and you pounced onto your older sister. “Lei, I scored myself a date!” You announced, receiving mixed reactions from the group. Lei’s shocked face morphed into one of unsure happiness. You filled them in on all the details, but you somehow miss the worried glances San and Lei throw at Yeosang, and him having a tight smile on his lips.

-

_ You were always so sweet and caring, your heart is honestly one of the purest things there is. _

The weather was wonderful, the sun was shining bright in the clear sky and the air around was fresh. You enjoyed the scenery as you strolled along the sidewalk, mostly in an attempt to calm your rapidly beating heart. You felt like it was going to burst out of your chest and soak your crisp white dress in blood. Well that wouldn’t be too bad, that would definitely lower your heart rate. But you really couldn’t just leave Hongjoong on his own thinking that you’ve ditched him, when in reality you just died on the sidewalk. Your nerves that were already unsteady, worsened when you reached the glass doors of the restaurant. You took a deep breath and clenched your fists by your side, pushing open the doors with your whole body. The entire space felt cozy and gave off a rustic vibe, the cedar coloured walls calming your nerves instantly.

The moment your eyes make a slight shift, you see him. How could you not? He had such striking red hair that even if people who weren’t looking for him would find him. A bright smile makes its way onto Hongjoong’s face when you two make eye contact and it’s as if his wide almond shaped eyes had you on a line and are gradually pulling closer. “Hey.” you say with an awkward chuckle when you’re in front of him. He looks up at you with such adoring eyes, his palms holding his jaw and he returns the ‘hey’ but less awkward. “Did you wait long?” As if he was snapped out a trance, he blinks rapidly and gets up to pull your chair out.  _ Oh I didn’t expect that _ . “Not really, I just got here too.” that was a lie, he was fifteen minutes early because he wanted to give you a good first date. 

Throughout the entire meal, Hongjoong’s eyes had the same exact glint in them from when he first spotted you; all hazy and trance-like. “By the way, I saw this painting and it reminded me of you.” he started, eyes gazing at you like you were the most dazzling thing he ever laid his eyes on. You, of course, sat there dumbfounded, holding a spoonful of ginseng soup up to your lips. “Oh uhm…” you struggle to find the correct reply to his sudden comparison and quickly gulp down the liquid on your utensil, “thank you…?” The male in front of you beamed softly and continued. “Yeah, when we first met at the party.” In your head, you were thinking that he saw a painting of angels, considering the top you wore that night were covered in them, and so you thought:  _ awh how sweet _ , you remember mentioning that you were into arts that night and it really warmed your heart that he remembered such a trivial thing. “It was a mess and it reeked of alcohol, just like you.” The metal spoon clattered against your ceramic bowl-- other customers turning their heads over at you and wondering what was happening, you bit the inside of your cheek and swore at him from under your breath. “You’re a bitch.” Hongjoong responds with a mocking smile and scrunch of his nose.

The date went pretty well, if you say so yourself. Hongjoong was a sweet person and took care of you the entire afternoon. He took you around the area and talked about so many things. Just like in the party, minus the alcohol. It was like you knew him for so long now, when in reality, you met him while you were drunk off your ass just the other day. The bells above the store door jingled when Hongjoong pushed it open, excitement coursing through his veins. Before he was going to walk you home, he suggested that you stop by his favourite place in the entire town. An array of guitars was mounted on the white walls and various shelves ran along the wooden floors, holding a wide selection of CDs. “I come here a lot, when I feel down in the dumps.” He tours you around, as if he owns the place, and you’re somewhat believing it. He knows where each genre is, each artist; he knows the system like the back of his hand, the names of each aisle flowing out of his lips with practiced ease. “Oh Hongjoong, you’re back!” The woman from behind the counter calls out at him, leaning her inked arms onto the glass display filled with various items. “Yeah, I came to show y/n, around.” the red head wraps an arm around your shoulders and pulls you to his side, your cheeks flushing at the action. The woman shifts her eyes at you and smirks, “Hongjoong never brings friends here. I’m guessing you’re more than a friend?” You quickly shake your head and hold your palms up, “N-no, we just met the other day.” The woman (whose name was never mentioned to you) rubs her chin thoughtfully, “First date, huh. And you already brought her here, Hongjoong?” You were confused at what she meant by that, but you couldn’t inquire for more because Hongjoong was dragging you out the door and chuckling nervously, saying a quick goodbye and throwing a threatening glare at the woman.

-

_ Music was always your passion and I love that about you. You always had this fire in your eyes whenever you talked about your favourite song or the beats you were working on. But that doesn’t mean that you should disregard your health! Why are you so hard headed? I know that many of your friends told you to take care of yourself, PRIORITIZE YOUR HEALTH, SIR, PLEASE. No matter how important that thing is, you have to drop it when it comes to self care. _

Hongjoong has been inviting you out throughout the past month, and at this point, the line between friends and lovers was somewhat blurred. On your sad days, Hongjoong would intertwine his fingers into yours and give them a reassuring squeeze, wordlessly saying that ‘it’s going to be okay’ while you two cuddle on your sofa. When he was blue, you would take him to that music shop he loves and take him out for some ice cream while peppering little kisses all over his face, effectively cheering him up. You two acted like a pair of newlyweds, yet nothing was official. You two have been flirting back and forth throughout the entire month but neither of you had the balls to ask each other out. It was obvious that your feelings were mutual, so why didn’t you just smooch him? Frankly, you didn’t know either. You were too pussy, and mayhaps your grandma taught you that men always made the first move. But come on, it’s 2018 that shit’s old now.

You learned Hongjoong absolutely adores music, he basically lives for music. His being is surrounded by music 24/7. You knew this, he has shown you multiple times how dedicated he was composing and you genuinely looked up to that. But at this moment, you despised it. For the past week, Hongjoong hasn’t been answering your calls or replying to your texts, and he was notorious for suddenly going MIA at random times due to work and studies. “What do you think happened to him?” You nibble at your nails nervously while Yeosang just rolls his eyes, he was currently driving you to Hongjoong’s dorm because you bribed him to take you there. He was actually quite against the idea but you looked so desperate and it did something in his heart, so he settled with a week's worth of dinner. “I don’t know, the mafia got him?” he teases, you respond with a smack on his arm closest to you and whining that it wasn’t funny. You rush up to his dorm room while Yeosang calmly trails behind you. Your knuckles rap at his door and it worries you even more when you don’t get a response. “Hongjoong?” you call out through the door and Yeosang winces at the volume of your voice. “Hey, he might not be home.” Your hands don’t stop knocking, not until you get at least a single sign of life from inside. And fortunately, before anybody from in the hall can start complaining, the wooden door opens and reveals a shaggy haired Hongjoong.

“Oh my god, Joong.” You leapt forward when his body suddenly went limp, barely catching him into your arms. His breathing was ragged and his skin pale, dark circles hung from underneath his eyes and yet he still managed to greet you with a weak hey and a soft chuckle. Yeosang pulls the male out of your arms and brings him back into his room with you following suit. After your best friend tossed him onto the bed, you absentmindedly took your place beside him. “What the fuck have you been up to?” you whisper, worried that even the slightest raise in volume would harm him; he looked so fragile and weak, as if a gentle breeze would knock him over and smash him into pieces. “Dude, how long have you been working?” Yeosang speaks up from Hongjoong’s desk, picking up one of the papers scattered all over the surface, ink blotches splattered on the polished wood. “Ah, don’t touch that.” The red haired male weakly scolds the younger, who immediately puts the piece down. “I’ve been working on it all week, but it doesn’t sound right.” Oh, he was working on a song, the one he told you about.

_ “Hey, can I have a listen?” You lean onto Hongjoong’s shoulder one day on the campus field. The sun was shining brightly and there was a gentle gust of fresh air that cooled your skins. “I don’t know…” Hongjoong bites his lip as he pulls one bud out of his ear, “it doesn’t sound that good.” You roll your orbs at that, “Oh shut up, whatever HJ Studio produces must be fire.” You grab the earbud and plug it into your ear. Hongjoong looks at you in disbelief with a silly smile on his lips. “HJ Studio?” His finger presses on the play button and soon a soft melody sounds from the earphones, whisking you out to a new world; one covered in grass and butterflies flying about from flower to flower, a little stream tinkles in the distance. The piece made your heart feel so light, it was as if it was soaring through the air.  _

Hongjoong was truly a talented man and he worked so hard to get there. He has accomplished so much at the young age of twenty, there will be plenty in store for him in the future. But if he doesn’t take care of himself he would never get to that point, knock on wood. It hurt your heart to see him in such a state, so brittle and debilitated. “Yeosang, could you run over to the store and get him some food?” You plead to your best friend with the best puppy dog eyes you could muster. “Why me?” his shoulders sag when he whines and dangles his arms down beside him. “Would you rather stay here with him?” You raise an eyebrow at him and he just pouts before stomping away, gently slamming the door on his way out. “You really don’t have to do this.” The bedridden male puts his hand over yours, his thumb caressing the skin of your hand. “I want to do this, Joong.” He smiles and brings a hand up to your cheek, resting it there. You lean into his touch and the man beneath you lets out a dramatic sniffle. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen, especially in front of you.” He uses his other hand to wipe away nonexistent tears and you couldn’t help but let out a little giggle. “Please remember me.” “Bitch stop acting like you’re dying.” you smack his arm and he too giggles softly. He says nothing afterwards but you see it in his eyes, a thankful glint that shines through his umber irises.

-

_ But I didn’t expect that your own passion would take you away from me…  _

Another week has passed since that fateful event, Hongjoong said that he has been taking care of himself and although they’re getting lighter, you could still see the dark bags under his eyes. On this day, Hongjoong called you in the middle of the day and asked if he could see you. Of course, you being the heart over mind person you were, you came running to Hongjoong. He walked with you all the way to his favourite music store while talking about minor things, such as ‘how was your day?’ etc. He politely opened the door for you with a bow and you teasingly curtsied back at him. “So why are we here?” you turn to Hongjoong and you notice, for a quick moment, that his shoulders tense before relaxing and motioning his arm to the interior of the building. “Why don’t you go ahead and pick whatever you like.” Your eyes widen at his suggestion and you shake your head ‘no’, you could never do that. But he insists. Pushing your shoulder forward and into the aisle of your favourite genre. Your eyes skim all over the CDs but still you refuse his offer. The strawberry rolls his eyes and grabs your hand to drag you down the aisle, “Listen, I know you’re stubborn but please just this once,” He stops in his tracks and turns to stare into your eyes, his pupils dilating at the sight of you. “Accept my offer, for me.” And you give in, your fingers running over the plastic cases of the CDs. 

Your eyes catch onto a CD by your favourite band but before you could reach for it, you notice the price.  _ Yikes, that ain’t happening _ , so you grab an older release by them, one that you already have, but at least this doesn’t cost much. You twist to look at Hongjoong meaning to hand him the disk, but he already has one in his hands. “So you like this band.” he nods and says something about having taste, but you reach out and grab his arm before he heads to the cashier. “I don’t want that, I chose this one.” You extend the casing to him and wiggling it moments after he doesn’t take it. “If this is about the price, don’t worry about it.” you stand firm and keep the case out to him, to which he just shrugs and takes the CD. “I guess I’m buying two then.” You try to stop him but he’s already at the cash register and when you reach his side, the woman (whose name was Yerin) was already packing the items into a plastic bag. When you two left the store, Yerin combed a tattooed hand through her long jet black hair.

“Okay, Joong, what’s going on?” I mean it was totally sweet how Hongjoong bought you two albums of your favourite artist and took you out for a walk in one of the most beautiful places you’ve ever seen; he also bought you a huge cup of gelato from that really expensive shop just off campus, but he was doing this so suddenly. He must have something special in mind. Your heart quickened at the thought,  _ is he finally going to ask me out? Oh my god I’m not ready _ . “Can’t I just treat you to things like this because I care for you?” He looked at you with eyes full of intent, everything went quiet after that. The park has gone silent, most of the people seem to have disappeared but you don’t mind. “Well,” he rubs his palm against the nape of his neck nervously,  _ aaaah this is it, I won’t be single anymore _ , “Remember that song I was working on?”  _ huh?  _ Oh maybe he was bringing it up because the song was about you and that he was going to sing it to you right now and a huge musical ensemble will jump out of the bushes and start playing their instruments.  _ Wow I need medical attention.  _ “I submitted it to my professor and he liked it!” He beamed down at you, it wasn’t the new you were expecting but it was great nonetheless. You smiled back at him with equal fervour and jumped up into his arms.

“Hongjoong! That’s great!” you exclaim,  _ I could kiss you _ , “I’m so proud of you, Joong.” He spins you in his arms for a brief moment before putting you down and looking into your eyes seriously. “That’s not all, he showed his friends, who showed to their friends,” You nod, eyes still bright with joy and giddiness even without knowing where this conversation was headed. “And they liked it so much that they referred me to Berklee College in Boston.” Boston? As in like America Boston? The park fell silent again, but this time the atmosphere was tense and gloomy, the only noise was coming from the ducks in the nearby pond. Your ears were ringing, blocking out all the sounds the world offered. You wished you could unhear his words, wished for him to yell out that it was a joke and kiss you senseless, but that wasn’t the case. You stood there in front of Hongjoong, motionless. You couldn’t even feel your heart anymore, was it even there? It seems like your heart has fallen into the pits of your stomach but you couldn’t feel it inside you. You doubt it was still beating. “I’m leaving in three days.”

Oh great he just had to rub salt all over your wound. Your mind goes blank, you remember neither congratulating him on such an achievement nor the walk home with your hands entwined with each other. But you vaguely remember the chaste kiss he places at the corner of your lips before leaving. When you enter the house, you see Yeosang seated on your sofa, “How’d the date go?” and with that the dam behind your eyes shatter and you collapse onto the floor. Yeosang’s heart breaks at the sight and he immediately runs to your side; you weep to him and tell him everything that happened. You went brain dead, going through the next three days numbly and only regaining consciousness when you’re standing in front of Hongjoong at the lobby of his dorm building. He towed a big nave case behind him and a black backpack hung on his shoulders. Hongjoong’s umber orbs land on your form but before he can run to you, he spots Yeosang protectively standing behind you with a protective look on his face. He decides to calmly approach you and give you a tight hug without words, completely disregarding your best friend’s disapproving eyes. He digs through his backpack and pulls out a clear case and an unlabelled CD before handing it to you. “Remember me.” he plants a brisk kiss onto your lips and runs away before Yeosang could beat him up.

_ I’m glad you were there for me. I thank my lucky stars that it was you who found me that night. _

_ I miss you, _

_ y/n of freshman year _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this can be found on my tumblr (@talkbykhalid) and on my wattpad (@bIushers, notice: the 'L' is actually a capital 'i')


	4. to: park seonghwa.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To: Park Seonghwa.
> 
> Your extremely handsome and friendly neighbour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D hi okaY im sorry for the delay o got sidetracked bc ya girl stoopped n e ways  
> WARNING HEAVILY UNEDITED (not like i do proofread my works) dis is very rushed n im sorry for serving u a half cooked steak ): forgive me

_To: Park Seonghwa_

_I’m actually nervous about writing this. You’re literally next door and, I know that I’m exaggerating but, I feel like you can hear all my thoughts right now._

The room already felt hot even though the air conditioning just shut off. A whine came from your bed and you twisted your waist to look at the source of the sound. “Bitch, it’s so fucking hot.” You rolled your eyes and went back to your previous position on the carpeted floor. “Open a window would ‘ya.” the male on your bed speaks up again, throwing your duvet and pillows onto the ground, claiming that they were too hot. “You have legs, go open up that window.” Your body shifts to a different spot on the floor, the area under you having absorbed your body heat. Yeosang whines your name and kicks his feet in a mini tantrum, you respond by whining his name back and retorting, “if you won’t do it then I guess we’ll just have to live in this eternal heat.” The brunette slides off the mattress and flips you the bird making you send a loving kiss flying in his direction. 

Finally, Yeosang’s fingers unhatch the lock and push open your white casement windows. A cool summer breeze gently whisks into your bedroom and cools the area. “Open the others too.” you order and your best friend just rolls his eyes; spotting a flimsy paperback book, he tosses it to your face before doing as you say. Yeosang ended up joining you on the floor, both of you constantly rolling around in search of a cool spot. Birds sang from outside your windows along with the ringing of bicycle bells and the giggling of the children in your neighborhood. It was early July and the summer heat made everyone crave for some sort of cooling method; however, the unanimous increase of AC use eventually busted most of the ACs in your block. Your house being one of the victims. Lei and San were away on their dance camp while you and Yeosang, in complete agreement, decided to skip out on this year’s art workshop. 

To think that your experience with art started off as a joke, but here you are, a college freshman majoring in Fine Arts with your best friend– who was once a complete stranger until the workshop– alongside you. Neither of you needed the workshop anymore, since they only taught the basics in art, yet for the past four years you two still went to every single class. Whether it was to participate or help out Ms. Jung with handling the kids. But, you were eternally grateful for the woman, because without her you wouldn’t have ever seen the true value of art.

A loud hum of an engine caught your attention, plus the slapping of the children’s slippers against the concrete as they scrambled to get off the road. Curiosity got the best of you and, even through the heat, you got up and peeked out the window. A large blue moving truck drove past your house but stopped at the empty house right beside you. “Looks like I’ve got a new neighbor.” Yeosang gets up on his feet and looks over your shoulder, he wasn’t extraordinarily tall, but he was still significantly taller than you. “So it seems.” You lean against the window frame while Yeosang leans his hand on your nearby desk, two pairs of eyes following the white 2018 Volkswagen Atlas pulling up at the driveway. The engine of the vehicle halts abruptly and all four side doors open in unison. The man in the driver’s seat stepped out first, he looked like he was in his late thirties or early forties, but he had a good posture. The person behind the driver’s seat hopped out, a soft smile on his face, looking around the neighborhood. He had short jet black hair and wore a black Hawaiian shirt, half tucked into his jeans and a pair of black sneakers. _Wow, he cute_ , your lips twist to the side as you eye him from head to toe. A head pops up from the other side of the car and you see a head full of luscious dark locks; from her side profile alone, you could tell that she was an absolutely stunning woman. 

_The moment I saw you, my heart was already out the window._

Now, all that’s left was the other person sitting in the backseat; so when a crown of dirty blonde hair comes up into your vision and turns to your general direction, you freeze. ‘Oh shit’ you curse and when his wide round orbs crosses your own, you swear you combust inside. He sends you a small smile, one that you are unable to return due to the amount of shock in your veins. Yeosang catches on and returns the smile for you, the stranger’s eyes shifting from you to him. And not a moment too soon, the male beside you grabs your unresponsive body by the waist and pulls you away from the window to avoid further embarrassment. He sets you down on the floor (rather harshly, might I add) and plops himself gently onto your messy bed. “They look rich.” he comments, eyes lingering by the open window. “Damn right they are, that car costs about sixty million won!” you were in a state of shock, _Good looking_ and _rich? What a life._

Oh my, what is this? Yeosang excused himself to the bathroom for a bit and your eyes instantly wandered around the room to distract yourself from both the heat and sudden silence, they naturally landed on your windows and you spotted the top of the blue moving truck still there. Come to think of it, there’s been quite a clatter outside, why don’t you do check it out. Your feet padded along the carpet and you saw from where you stood a bunch of workers hauling furniture out of the truck. A certain blonde steps into view and you’re basically dead. Yep, you’re soul? God took it back, he decided you’ve been through enough. The cause of your unfortunate passing was completely clueless as he hooked his hands underneath one end of the sofa and lifted it up, the muscles on his arm tighten and the sight is heightened by the sleeves of his white shirt being rolled up to his shoulders. _Hot hot hot. Snap out of it._ You shake your head out of your trance and turn away just in time for Yeosang to barge in, he notices your shaken state and the red tint spreads across your face and down your neck. “You good?” you reply immediately, but it’s high and your voice cracks in between, making you cringe.

Later that day, your doorbell rang, so you called out to ask who was there out of habit. But when you opened the door you nearly died of a heart attack. There he stood in all his handsome glory, your new neighbor. His deep eyes stared into yours, and your heart raced. _He’s so handsome, and so close too._ Your senses fill up with him, his sure smooth skin, plush pink lips, and crepuscular irises engulfing your entire being. You were surrounded by his cologne, the spicy aroma of neroli and vanilla embedding itself into your mind. “Hey,” _oh god even his voice was attractive_ , you’re pretty sure you stopped breathing, “we’re new here and we wanted to introduce ourselves.” He twists his body, broad shoulders moving to unblock your view outside. Indeed they were introducing themselves, his (what you assumed) brother was right across the street, being entertained by San’s mother.

“I’m Park Seonghwa,” he holds his hand out for you to shake, _fuck even his name is beautiful_. Yeosang pops up from behind you and shakes the man’s hand instead, again because you were unable to return it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, this is y/n and I’m Yeosang.” The two handsome males in front of you exchange a few words before Seonghwa proceeds to introduce himself, on behalf of his entire family, around the block. “Huh, what strange people.” Yeosang comments and shuts the door, “listen, ice cube,” he shakes you out of your frozen stature, “stop freezing up around him. I mean sure he’s handsome, but you’ve got me remember.” he strikes a pose and showcases his sharp jawline to you. It goes straight to your heart, but you of course act as if you were unaffected, a forlorn memory popping up in your mind briefly before you let out a scoff. “Move your ugly ass, you can’t compare to him.” Yeosang pouts and blocks your path not relenting until you admit that he was ‘somewhat decent, and that’s being generous’.

“Dear, we seem to have new neighbors,” Your grandma comments, with a hand on her hip while looking out the window. “And they seem loaded.” You knew your grandmother, if she sees anything that might benefit her, she’s taking that opportunity, no room hesitating here. With her eyes still trained on the blue truck outside and the various expensive looking appliances being hauled out, the elderly nods schemingly. “So here’s the plan,” your grandmother gathered every living body in your house, calling for a family meeting. “Why am I here?” Yeosang questions from the end of the dining table, San seconds the question and they both look at the elder in the room. “You two basically live here now.” the woman points out with a roll of her lightened irises and adjusts the reading glasses on the bridge of her nose. It was true, every summer San and Yeosang would stay over at your house from first thing in the morning until deep into the night. San lived right across the street, so there’s no problem with that, but Yeosang’s house was on a different street and walking in the dark is definitely dangerous. _“Calm your tits, I board there,” he gestures to the wooden board by his feet, “and besides, it’s a small town; if I get murdered you’ll figure out who right away.”_ He reassured you one night as you were showing him the door, you weren’t convinced but you had to let him go. 

“You’re all well aware of our new neighbor,” your grandma starts again because she was rudely interrupted, “and you also may have noticed that they are, in fact, rich.” You all knew where this was going, whenever you had a rich neighbour move in your grandma would lose it. _‘We’re gonna be best friends, I can feel it.’_ she would state while creepily staring out the window and into the eyes of her subject. Of course, they all ended up moving away, was it because your grandmother? We’ll never know. “Mama, are you sure about this?” Lei speaks up, her head leaning on her palm. The woman mentioned scoffs and mimicked your sister’s voice, “‘Are you sure about this?’ Of course I am!” the four of you sigh in defeat, there was no use in trying to talk her out of it, her mind was already set on becoming best friends with your new neighbour. She goes into her plan with a scheming smile on her face and it didn’t sit well with any of you. A sudden call of your name straightens your previously hunched back and your eyes look straight into your grandmother’s eyes. “I want you to buy a big batch of cookies tomorrow morning at the grocery.” Your eyebrows crease at the order but you knew better than to question her. “And Lei, I want you to deliver them because you’re the pretty one.” Lei looks taken aback at her reasoning, San was shocked and Yeosang looked insulted, “But mama, y/n’s pretty too.” the former reasoned out, not because she didn’t want to do the work, but the way she said it really hit a nerve. You waved it off and told her that it was gonna be okay. “Pretty but can’t get a boyfriend.” the woman mutters to herself and luckily it couldn’t reach your ears, but they reached Yeosang’s. The brunette felt his blood boil in his veins and he looked over at San, who also managed to hear the words the elder muttered. But the blonde had a guilty look on his sharp features, somehow even after all the years that passed by, he still feels bad for what happened. He feels at fault somehow, he’s not sure what he did wrong, but it felt like his doing. 

The elderly woman at the head of the table raves on about her, so called, ‘master plan’. It was cliche really, the classic welcome-to-town-gift trope, and then they become best friends forever and then later put their names in each other’s wills, or that was what your grandma planned. Everyone agreed (because they had no choice) and then called it a night. “Don’t let what mama said get to you.” Lei wraps her slim arms around your form and snuggles you into her chest. You knocked on her door earlier with downcast eyes and sat on her bed in complete silence for the first few minutes. “I mean, yeah I could wave it off the first few times, but it’s getting out of hand.” It’s true, lately your grandmother has been targeting you with her insults more than Lei, and it was kind of bringing you down. You already had your experiences with San and Yeosang to remind you that you weren’t enough, you didn’t need another one. “You are pretty, beautiful even.” you look up into Lei’s hazel orbs, trying to search for some sort of lie in her eyes, but you found none. “You caught that one guy’s attention, remember? What was his name? Hongjoong?” You paused, heart going numb.

Of course you remember Hongjoong, you could never forget the man who made you feel so much in so little time. It felt like it was only yesterday when he handed you that blank CD case with one of his most valuable treasures inside. You used to play it whenever you were sad and felt worthless, its soft melodies always brought your spirits up, and you remember the feeling of being in his arms, the gentle way he looked at you, his soft voice that sung to you. The beats and the lyrics made you feel appreciated, telling you not to give up even during the hard times, made you feel like how he titled the song, like you were his Treasure. Come to think of it, you should play it right now, making up some shitty excuse about watering your plant, you rush out of your sister’s room and into yours. Digging into one of your drawers, you push away all the useless stationery and coloured envelopes piled within the wooden box and soon find the object of your desire. A blank CD case with ‘Treasure’ scribbled on the front in Hongjoong’s font, you let out a melancholic sigh and hastily settle it into your usb superdrive and plug it into your computer. A soft melody flows out of the speakers on your laptop and you feel your muscles relax, you didn’t even notice they were tense, your mood lifting up right away. You curl up into your bed and wrap your blanket around you, drifting into a sweet slumber with the feeling of Hongjoong’s loving embrace and the memory of him fresh in your mind. 

* * *

You wake up the next morning with your computer hot beside you and on the verge of dying, your fingers mindlessly pull out the CD and place it back into the case with extreme care before setting up your device to charge. You trudge to the bathroom and brush your teeth, your mind hazing over yesterday's happenings, _oh right I have to buy cookies_ , you roll your eyes and get ready so this can be over and done with. When you enter the kitchen, you see San (no surprise there) munching on a bowl of your cereal. “Bitch, that’s my cereal.” you whine from the entrance and lightly stomp your foot down on the hardwood floors. The blonde holds up his hand, gesturing for you to wait while he chews, he grabs the box and inadequately inspects the front. “Bitches be claiming things, but it don’t got their name.” he squints at you and mockingly scoops a spoonful of milk and chocolate mini biscuits. You grab the box and shove the back into his face, where your name was written across in large bold letters, San shrugs his shoulders and says something like ‘sharing is caring’ before proceeding to eat another two spoonfuls right in front of your face. A knock comes from your door and you rush over thinking it was Yeosang. “You’re la--” you stop in your tracks when your eyes meet a different pair of dark eyes. “Seonghwa…” you stutter out, he dipped his head down to stare into yours just like how he did the first time you met. “I’m late?” he raises a thick eyebrow at you with an amused smile on his full lips. Your lips open and then shut, in Seonghwa’s eyes you looked like a fish out of water, but it wasn’t too bad. “N-no, I thought you were someone else.” The male hums and rubs a finger on his chin, “Were you waiting for Yeosun, perhaps?” “Yeosang, actually.” you correct him and gently nod, looking away; unable to handle the intensity of his eyes alone. “I thought he lived here.” He looked confused now and it was really cute, you quickly shook your head and corrected him, telling him that he lived in another street. You look behind him to see if his family was on another ‘nice to meet you’ spree, but surprisingly, there were none.

He brings up a hand, the plastic in his grasp rustles and it catches your attention, “I was making cookies and I thought maybe I could give you some.” How ironic, you were about to do the exact same thing, you invite him in the house and offer a drink which he politely accepts. He steps in and toes his shoes off, his eyes roaming the area and landing on a large canvas hung by the entrance. It was a painting you made a couple months ago, nothing dramatic, just a vase of lavenders with a stark yellow background. “That’s a nice painting.” he comments and sets his vans by the wall. “Oh, thanks.” you lead him into the living room and offer him a seat on the couch, “You made it?” he looks at you with awed eyes and coos in amazement, “yeah, I worked on it a couple months ago.” Lei soon made an appearance in the scene and back tracked when she saw a stranger in the living room. “Lei, this is Seonghwa, our new neighbor.” You walk back into the living room with the cookies the blonde made on a tray and a bottle of cold tea, as requested by the male. “He brought us cookies.” you beam at your sister and offer her a piece before setting it in front of Seonghwa and handing him the bottle. 

San pops up from behind Lei and reaches out to the tray exclaims ‘ooh cookie’ in tiny font. Your grandmother comes down the stairs and nearly tumbles down at the sight of a handsome young man in her living room. The said ‘handsome young man’ gets up and bows politely at the elder, who then pinches his cheeks and comments on how attractive he was. As expected, your grandmother bombards the poor fellow with questions about his family, mainly his mother. “Ah, mama, I think that’s enough.” You place a hand on her shoulder right when they were reaching the topic of money, scheming bitch. Your grandma smiles lightly before excusing herself into the kitchen, “So why our house?” Lei questions with half a cookie in her mouth and San gobbles up another cookie. Seonghwa caps the bottle he was previously chugging on (he looked so fine doing the bare minimum) and smiles at you, “I stopped by here yesterday and y/n greeted me.” Lei’s eyebrows shot up and she looks at you from the corner of her eyes, a cheeky smile on her lips, “oh did you now.” Your blonde neighbor, who was obviously oblivious to your sister’s innuendos, nods and proceeds by explaining why he stopped by and his family’s weird antics.

“I believe I should get going.” Seonghwa speaks up nearly an hour into your conversations and you all permit him to leave, with you walking him to the door. “Thanks for the cookies, by the way.” he looks up at you while putting on his shoes and flashes you a bright smile, “Anytime.” _Oh shit am I blushing_ , you ‘discreetly’ place a hand on your cheek, checking if it was heating up. Unfortunately, you weren’t being discreet enough and Seonghwa noticed, making him bring up the back of his hand onto your forehead. “Hey, you’re heating up. Are you okay?” you stammer out a small ‘yea’ and wave it off. The male just shrugs and tells you to take care and drink lots of water, _wow we love a caring king_. “Okay change of plans.” your grandmother’s voice calls out from the kitchen, you sigh and pad over to where they were currently gathered at. “So since our first plan of action failed, I made a new one.” She smiles triumphantly at her grandchildren who looked about ready to die. Just then, the front door opens and shuts in the noisiest way possible, which can only mean, “What’d I miss?” Yeosang strides into your kitchen as if he owned the place and takes his seat next to you. “Cookies.” San hands the newest addition to the scene a cookie and the brunette looks at the round thing, confused, but takes it nonetheless. “The new plan is that y/n is going to be Seonghwa’s girlfriend.” San’s face bunches up into a cringe at the idea and Lei winces when she hears Yeosang choke on his cookie. You hurry and grab a glass of water and hand it to the coughing male for the sharp crumbs lodged in his throat. The elderly woman upfront just rolls her eyes at your dramatic reactions and carries on with explaining her master plan.

“That’s never gonna happen.” you huff and throw yourself onto your bed, Yeosang following the lead and stealing the pillow under your head. A thud is heard when your skull comes into contact with your headboard and your best friend just laughs in your face. “From what you’re grandma said I think he’s pretty into you.” “Yeosang,” you sigh, “after all this time, you still haven’t realized that mama is delusional? Besides I’m not gonna fall for him just because he’s cute.” In return, his dark eyes roll back, like the eboy he is, and shrugs, “I’m just saying, she might be onto something.” Your hands find another pillow and you instinctively pull it to your chest, you hum in hopes of Yeosang dropping the subject, and he does pick up on the sudden shift in the atmosphere. A pair of toned arms slowly make their way to your side and you're soon engulfed into a warm embrace with your back against Yeosang’s chest. “Mama’s been attacking me more than Lei recently.” you sigh and snuggle deeper into his arms, “and it’s always about me being single.” Yeosang remains silent and listens to your rambles, part of his mind focusing on your words, the other part going back to a few years ago and in his heart he can’t help but feel guilty for your current situation right now.

You two stay cuddling and eventually you nod off; Yeosang notices your soft snores and he sighs, “I’m sorry. If only that didn’t happen, it wouldn’t be like this.” He settles his jaw onto your shoulder and watches your side profile with somber eyes before he leans in and places a kiss under your ear and another one near the corner of your lips making your sleeping body stirs lightly. Yeosang panics and quickly drops his head, pretending to be fast asleep and waits out for a few seconds before opening one eye; seeing as you were still fast asleep, the slow rising of your chest being enough of a give away, and he lets out a breath he didn even know he was holding in. It’s as if his lips move on their own, but another kiss makes its way to the back of your head and his arms tighten around you. And in the end, Yeosang decides to doze off too.

* * *

_Seonghwa, let me just say that you are one fine man. You’re honestly one of the most beautiful beings I’ve ever laid eyes upon._

It’s been around a week since the Parks moved in and, well, your grandmother’s master plan didn’t get carried out, which resulted in her sulking for five days straight. It was a dark time, no meals for you or your sister, leading to five days of fast food and your wallets gutted out. In the case of Seonghwa, not much really happened; you two would greet each other when necessary and exchange a few conversations when you had the time. Like normal neighbors.

Yeosang looked at you with exasperated eyes, but you don’t falter, eyes still trained hard on his own. “I’m going with you.” Yeosang told you that his sister was coming back from abroad and that he needed to leave for the airport. You, being that great best friend you were, wanted to welcome his sister back because it has been a while since you last saw her. Of course, Yeosang refused, giving you half assed replies like: there’s not enough space in the car, you might get tired, etc. But really, he just didn’t want his sister to embarrass him in front of you. What will happen to his dignity? Exactly, that’s why you shouldn’t come, at all costs. Having to say no to you was pretty hard, not because he can’t resist your (in your words) ‘cute and powerful puppy eyes’ but because you had an attitude. He knew you would insist, and if that didn’t work you’d stare him down, threatening him with your eyes. He only wishes it won't reach-- “Yeosaaaaang.” there it is, the whiny tantrum stage; quite childish for a nineteen year old, but it was cute. In time you finally shut up and got to sulking, pouting at Yeosang as you watch him skate off on his skateboard. “Stupid skateboard, stupid Yeosang.” you kick at a pebble by your feet. A chuckle rips you out of your mood and you whip back to find Seonghwa looking at you bemusedly, his dirty blond locks falling over his forehead. “Did you have a quarrel?” He leans on his front fence and you furrow your brows back again. “He won’t let me see his sister.” you whine and walk closer to your neighbor when he gestures you over, “Well, you can meet my brother if you want.”

This was the first time you ever entered this house and you were astonished by the interior design, plain white walls with white furniture to accompany them but they were obviously plain for a certain reason. And that was to balance out the grandeur the bright contemporary chandelier brought into the space Here you are now, awkwardly sitting on Seonghwa’s expensive looking sofa while his mother scutters around and prepares a small snack for you, _damn a two croissants and iced coffee_ , the woman then smiles at you kindly and places the tray in front of you on the coffee table. “Sorry about that, my mom gets really excited when we have guests.” He plops down on the single seat perpendicular to the couch you were sitting on and gestures for you to start eating. “Wow, it’s good!” you exclaim with a hand covering your full mouth, because you have manners. Seonghwa smiles with pride and pats himself on the back. “You made this?” your eyes widen and you take a sip from the cold beverage, “It’s delicious.” A pair of quick footsteps suddenly patter down the stairs and you see Seonghwa’s brother, dressed in a casual graphic shirt tucked into some dark trousers. His eyes widen in mild surprise at the sight of you on their living room sofa, “Hey, y/n, what’chu doin’ here?”. Unfortunately for you, you didn’t have time to answer because Seonghwa beat you to it, “Yeosang ditched her--” “Don’t put it like that!” A huff escapes your lips and you roll your eyes before properly explaining to the older brother what happened. “So I asked her if she wanted to meet you.” the younger added on while you nodded, making the former look confused. “But you already met me though?” A smack could be heard in the living room as both you and Seonghwa face palmed in unison. “No, I was trying to make her feel better about not getting to see Yeosang’s sister by seeing you.” The blonde explains with his fingers massaging his temples. The brother’s face lights up as if pieces in his mind suddenly click together and he beams at the both of you, “Well why didn’t you say so?”. You sigh and steer clear of the older’s eyes and Seonghwa does the same, asking for a bite of your croissant.

“I can’t believe my brother’s so stupid.” Your neighbour groans and tightens his grip on the hose. Having ignored his brother (for being an idiot), he stepped outside into his backyard with you in tow, which led to you two watering his mum’s vegetable patch; Seonghwa had the end and sprayed the plants while you stood by the faucet, fingers tapping at the brass head, waiting for further instructions from the blonde. “He may be slow, but stupid? I don’t think so.” You hear a chuckle from Seonghwa, and were those angels you heard? Singing? Yes. It was as if time slowed down, the skies became quiet and the sun shone upon his sole figure. Your eyes lingered on his broad shoulders, muscles tensing underneath his flimsy white shirt. His whitewashed jeans hugging his thighs perfectly, he was absolutely stunning. The way his hair just so naturally fell over under his dark eyebrows and a little bit past his eyelashes. He looked back at you and you notice his lips moving; oh his lips were so full and plump, his honey toned skin glimmered in the sunlight. “Hey.” his gravelly voice snaps you out of it and you hear him snicker at your inattentiveness. “I asked if you could turn off the tap.” You immediately scramble to twist at the knob but the water starts gushing out of the hose, causing Seonghwa to drop it and spilling onto the pebbled pathway. After hurriedly twisting the knob the other way around, you look up at Seonghwa and find that his jeans were absolutely soaked. “Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

_You’re so caring, you literally ooze love and affection to everyone you meet. Like that one time when I thought I got a concussion, but really I was just being the overdramatic pussy I was._

You hopped over a muddy patch of the garden and sprint over to Seonghwa who stood still, trying to revel in the fact that his pants were indeed drenched and the water was quickly dripping into his socks and pooling into the soles of his feet. You repeat apologies towards him, careful not to slip on mud around the garden, so when your shoe comes into contact with the cement walkway, you get off your toes and land the balls of your feet. The next thing you see is a blur of the sky and the tops of some trees before your vision temporarily goes white. You faintly hear Seonghwa curse, but you’re not sure because you were pretty out of it as of the moment. A large hand makes its way onto your cheeks and the bright light was blocked by a head of blonde hair, “can you see me?” the male leaned over your body on his knees, gently tapping your cheek to see if you were conscious. The small groan of pain that came from you somehow eased his nerves just a bit, but to be sure, he had to check if you got a concussion. “Follow my finger okay?” you heard that part but it didn’t seem to process in your mind, so your eyes look past his fingers and into his eyes; those charming deep sets of eyes. Maybe you were a bit woozy but you swear you saw a light behind Seonghwa’s frame and you’re sure you saw an angel. The blonde’s finger slowly glides from side to side and when he notices that your pupils weren’t following, he nearly had a heart attack, “Shit, I have to call an ambulance.” _So pretty, wait what_ , his hand digs his phone out of his pocket and opens the emergency dial. “Wait, I’m okay!” you reach out to hold onto his wrist to stop the call, you hear him heave out a sigh. 

You tried your best to push yourself up off of the ground, but you didn’t have enough strength for that. Still an attempt was made though, kudos to you. Seonghwa immediately wraps an arm around the back of your neck and gently pulls you up, your vision still blurry and bright with a faint pain in the back of your neck, but you got up nonetheless. “Are you okay?” you squint past the brightness and look up at him, “uhm, yeah, I think I did.” Your jeans were now wet at the butt just like the back of your striped top, it felt absolutely disgusting. “What did you do?” You looked at Seonghwa confused, what does he mean ‘what did you do?’ you slipped and fell obviously, “You said you ‘did’ something.” _Did I?_ Your eyebrows remain furrowed at the boy in front of you, “I just hit my head and you’re already making me think too much.” you huff and get up on your feet. Seonghwa, who’s visibly stressed, keeps a hand on the small of your back and guides you up into the house. “What happened to her?” Seonghwa’s mother rushes to your side when you two enter from the back door. “She slipped and hit her head.” Her son explains and sets you on one of their stools by the kitchen island, he was met with some resistance though, not wanting to stain the ivory cushions with your dirty jeans. A strong arm swoops under your thighs and lifts you off the ground, gently placing you on the bar stool, “But the cushions.” you try to reason out but the blonde shushes you with a finger to your lips and a soft smile that showed you that it was fine. 

After a certain amount of panicking, most of it coming from Mrs. Park, and the application of an ice bag on your head, Seonghwa and his brother were told to walk you back home. Having one brother on each side, one wrapping his arm around yours and the other with a hand behind your back, they began the benign walk next door. It was San who opened the door for you and a look of confusion and worry washed over his sharp features while he moved aside to let you in. “What happened?” Lei stood beside a worried looking San who watched as the two brothers gently set you down on the couch, the blonde having to explain and apologize for your mishap.The two soon left, having no other reason to stay behind, and Lei grabbed another ice pack for you to apply on your skull. Your grandma jokingly held up her slipper as if she was about to whack you and you swear you almost forgot that she was an elder. “What happened really?” Lei questions you that night as you two sat on your window seat, your head leaning onto the glass. “We were watering his mum’s garden and I was on faucet duty.” you shift your position and grab a throw pillow before continuing your dialogue. “I turned it the wrong way and his pants got all wet. So I ran to him and slipped.” Lei sighs at your recklessness and looks at you hopelessly, “Why were you so distracted?” Your cheeks turn a soft shade of crimson when your mind reels back the memory of Seonghwa’s broad back, toned arms, and thick thighs. Lei notices this and teasingly leers at you, “I see what’s going on,” she smirks and smacks your shoulder, making you whine. “No, Lei I promised myself not to.” 

* * *

_I should thank you, really, because not only did you take care of me, you showed me how to be independent; you taught me how to cook! A great achievement really because I’m one point away from being completely useless._

Seonghwa stood at the entrance arch of your kitchen, eyes looking at you exasperatedly while you munched on a… was that a sandwich? It was something. “What are you eating?” his footsteps resonated in the empty kitchen as he approached your form on the counter. “Breakfast obviously.” you gestured at your nutella and fruit loops sandwich and the blonde winces and shakes his head disappointedly. A hand quickly snatches your sandwich and tosses it into the nearby trash can, lecturing you about how breakfast choices are very important because it’s what powers you throughout the day. He continues his rambles all the while pulling out one of your skillets and rummages around your refrigerator for a tray of eggs and some vegetables. You planned on staying in the corner and watching him whiz around the kitchen, but you found out he had other plans when he grabbed your wrist and pulled you by the stove. He slaps a pack of tortilla wraps on the counter and orders you to crack an egg into a bowl and whisk it together with a little bit of salt while he chops up half a potato and some green bell pepper. Seonghwa stood beside you while you fried the egg and he tossed the vegetables in another skillet. “So first, you put down a layer of cheese,” you follow his instructions and lay a thick layer of mozzarella cheese in the middle and he guides you on assembling your burrito and tosses it in the microwave. “See now you have a healthy breakfast which takes only five minutes to make.” he stands by you with his hands on his waist and a proud smile on his face. 

“I made this?” you question with wide eyes and your mouth full of eggs, cheese, and potato. “Well technically, I made most of it, but I’ll give you the credit.” he offers a faint and gentle smile, mindlessly bringing a hand up to pat at your head. “It smells good here.” Yeosang’s voice echoes throughout the living room when he barges in and Seonghwa regains his consciousness, quickly removing his hand from your hair right before the younger male could see. “Yeah, want some?” you hold out the burrito for your best friend and he takes a big chomp out of it and bores his eyes into yours while doing so. “S’good.” he comments and licks his lips, his eyes shift to your lips and his hand immediately wipes at the corners covered in cheese. On pure instinct, your tongue darts out to lick at the glop of dairy on his thumb and Yeosang lets you. Seonghwa watches in shock, and even more at how Yeosang barely reacts as if this was a regular happening, it sure seems like it. You two were so co close, it just didn’t occur to him that you two were _that_ close. 

_Without you, I would be a literal mess. You Marie Kondo’d me and demonstrated how I should clean and maintain cleanliness._

It was the next day, and Seonghwa was again standing in your house looking at you disappointedly, but this time with the addition of Yeosang. When your bedroom door opened, you and Yeosang looked up at the intruder like a pair of meerkats; your heads popping out from the other side of your bed. You see the way his eyes sweep over your bedroom floor and take in the clothes thrown haphazardly over your bed, desk and vanity. “Hey.” you break the silence that settled when the blonde walked in. “Don’t ‘hey’ me.” the blonde picks up a plaid babydoll dress by his feet and looks at you with weary eyes, “are you sure about this?” He lets out a knackered sigh and begins picking up the many coloured articles on the floor. “You two get up.” he barely even gives you a glance but the assertive tone in his voice immediately gets you onto your feet and starts grabbing clothes. A few minutes later, you’re stuck with a large pile of clothes in the middle of your room, which you and Yeosang were tasked to pick out dirty from clean, while Seonghwa stood by your desk, arranging your books and stationery. “What the fuck is this?” Yeosang picks up a black bustier top from the pile and looks at you disgusted, “this looks like it came straight out of femdom porno.” Seonghwa looks back at the brunette, concerned, “What kind of shit have you been watching?” Yeosang’s cheeks redden when he remembers that there was another individual in the room, he struggles to find a reply so you laugh it off and tell him to toss it into the hamper.

Later in the afternoon, you three were still at it. The pile of clothes lessened significantly and your laundry hamper was already full with the second one halfway there. Seonghwa joined the two of you midway and began folding the articles that needed to be folded and neatly sprawling the articles to be hung on your bed. Lei bursts into your room, whining, but stops in her tracks when she notices your notably tidier room and the trio sitting in the middle of the carpet floor. “Who are you and what did you do to my sister?” she holds her fists up and gets into a fighting stances with her eyes boring into yours. “I’m Seonghwa and I killed your sister.” the blonde retorts, getting onto his feet to grab a few wooden hangers from your closet. “Hang those up according to colour please.” he hands you the hangers and points at the array of dresses strewn on your bed, and he orders for Yeosang to do the same with the folded clothes by his feet. “Lei could you please get a vacuum and some disinfectant.” Oh right, Lei was there. She was amazed because this is the first time she’s seen you and Yeosang so obedient, she should take lessons from him. The blonde rummages through your closet and emerges with a large lint roller, you didn’t even know you had that. Seonghwa has a huge smile on his face while he inspects the long handle and tests his grip. “I should buy myself one of these.” he mutters to himself and Yeosang, who was crouched inside your closet, looks at him weirdly. The older male begins rolling the carpet floors, reaching into each corner and crevice, not leaving one bit behind. Lei soon returns with the vacuum and a bottle of disinfectant, making Seonghwa’s large round eyes sparkle in delight. You and Yeosang hop on your bed, per the blonde’s request, and watch as he vacuums the carpet and sprays the entire surface with disinfectant. 

Seonghwa heaves out an accomplished sigh and here you thought that he was finally finished with his task, but no. He once again pulled out the roller and rolled your carpet one more time and made your bed afterwards. At this point your room was covered in the scent of disinfectant. It might not be good for your health so you opened up the windows and offered Seonghwa a snack, which he gratefully accepted. “You know, y/n,” Seomghwa speaks up after swallowing a mouthful of chocolate pudding, “you’re a mess.” Your hand drops your teaspoon into your pudding cup, expression indignant, “you’re a bitch, you know that?”. Seonghwa only laughs and takes another spoonful of pudding. “Cleaning is actually quite therapeutic.” Yeosang states, his eyes squinting into his plastic cup while he tries to spoon out the remaining chocolate stuck in the corners of his cup. The blonde nods at this and proceeds to list out the pros in keeping a clean room. “Can you imagine? Sleeping in a room filled with dust mites?” Seonghwa felt a shiver run up his spine, and not in a good way. “Also if you wake up in the middle of the night and see a pile of clothes on top of your chair, wouldn’t that give you a heart attack?” “Sounds like you’re pretty familiar with that feeling.” Your brown haired friend chuckles and chugs down his can of sprite, “Obviously not, I like to keep my room clean.” the older sticks his tongue out mockingly at Yeosang who returns it by sticking his own tongue out and a scrunch of his nose.

* * *

_I remember I promised myself that I wouldn’t fall for you just because you were cute… I mean I kept the promise though…_

It’s been nearly a month since Seonghwa and his family moved in, and your relationship with Seonghwa escalated. He now oftens hangs out with you and Yeosang, taking care of both of you as if he was a mother. Cooking for you early in the morning became one of the norms so naturally, you thought it would be a great idea to invite him to your Tuesday movie night with Yeosang. It was late in the morning when the idea hit you. Pulling out your phone, you scrolled down your contacts until you found his number under the name ‘Marie Kondo’, because of that one day where he revealed how much of a clean freak he was. “Hey Marie,” you leaned your elbows on your desk and looked out the window, the fabric of your white sweater rubbing against the polished wood of your table. Seonghwa rolls his eyes from the other side of the call and sighs ‘what do you want?’. “Yeosang and I are gonna watch a movie tonight, wanna join?” And that’s how you three ended up squished on your bed with the two boys on either side of you. Yeosang has been fidgety ever since he got here and you felt like he wasn’t telling you something.

When the credits started rolling, you excused yourself to the bathroom for a short moment; however, when you got back, you noticed Seonghwa shuffling off the bed, his phone in hand. “What’s up?” The two men look up at you in unison and the blonde spares you a bashful smile and rubs the back of his neck, “My brother just texted me, I gotta go.” he hurriedly runs out the room and you turn to Yeosang who just shrugs at you. “Already? But we’re just one movie in.” you complain and plop beside Yeosang, instinctively falling into his opened arms. “It’s okay you still have me.” You look up at him with a pout and it takes all of Yeosang’s willpower not to swoop in and peck them. “But I really wanted to spend time with him.” The thought falls into the back of his mind and he remembers why he won’t allow himself to have you. The movie night continues but you keep your pout throughout the evening, still sour that Seonghwa had to leave so early.

“What’re you making today.” You wake up to the smell of bacon and the sight of Seonghwa and, surprisingly, Yeosang in your kitchen. “You’re here early.” One of your arms wrap around Yeosang’s shoulder and the male’s hand automatically reaches up to rub at the skin of your forearm. The brunette is already munching on a croissant with eggs and some bacon. “I'm here for the breakfast.” He smiles at you with a mouth full of pastry, you scrunch your face in disgust and cover his lips before turning to Seonghwa to thank him for the breakfast. Lei comes half an hour later and pours herself a bowl of cereal, “It’s really unfair how you make those idiot’s breakfast but not me.” You and your best friend snap your heads to look at your sister like a pair of meerkats (you two surely must be meerkats). The blonde by the stove snickers, “why don’t you ask San?”. And just in time, the aforementioned man comes through the door with a loud ‘whoop’ and just like that your grandmother’s slipper comes from the staircase and to his head, “Shut up, boy.” her orotund voice reaching the lower level of the house. The four people in the kitchen held back a cackle, having witnessed the embarrassing exchange. 

* * *

“Don’t think I don’t see it.” Lei wraps an arm around yours and pulls you away from the three men with you.You five decided to go get some ice cream due to the very balmy weather and thought, why the fuck not just go to a sorbet shop. Here you are in your painfully neon yellow shirt walking around the block, hurting the eyes of whoever dares to go near. “Bitch, I’m not sure what you’re talking about. I can’t see anything because of this stupid ass shirt,” You squint through the brightness and sigh when it falls futile, “and before you ask me why this shirt, this was all I found.” Lei smacks you upside the head and clicks her tongue, “That’s not what I meant dumbass. I see the way you look at Seonghwa.” If it weren’t for the neon reflection on your face, you were sure your sister could see the way your cheeks flare up. “I look at him normally, what do you mean?” Your sister rolls her hazel eyes, not knowing what to do with your denying ass. “Shut up, even San sees it.” You give up, you were now caught, there’s nothing else you can do. “So what if I like him?” you hiss through gritted teeth, making sure that none of the boys walking upfront would hear. “You said you wouldn’t, though.” 

“I said I wouldn’t fall for him just because he was cute.” Lei hums and raises her brows at you, “Sure, hunny.” You huff and squeeze her wrist, “He’s nice, okay? And caring, also his cooking tastes good.” Your eyes shift to the three noisy boys in front of you and linger on Seonghwa’s back. Your eyes held a certain affection in them and they were directed at the tall blonde. Lei saw this and smiled softly, so did Yeosang. The moment he turned his head to switch his gaze over to you, he was instead met with your eyes staring at the back of Seonghwa’s head. He knows that look, he’s seen it before when a certain artwork you appreciated was in the area, when a particularly cute ad pops up in your video, and when you talked about Hongjoong. The same wistful and affectionate expression he saw a few months ago. 

_I guess I got ahead of myself. Your sweet little gestures made me fall just right and I’m not saying they were wrong, but just because you care for me greatly doesn’t mean you liked me the way I did._

You couldn’t take it anymore, Seonghwa’s loving stares, his charming smiles and affectionate touches that were all aimed at you. It was getting to be too much, you longed to be engulfed in his tender embrace. You decided to take your chances, because what do you have to lose, right? _Your fucking friendship!!_ THe voice in your head blares at you, telling you that this was a very bad idea, but will you listen? You knew yourself as a risk taker, a daredevil even, but were you a listener? Fuck no, whatever that voice had to say to you she can say it later. “So you’ve finally grown some balls.” Lei looks at you proudly, giving you a hard pat on the back, lurching you forward and onto the geck of the sofa. You turn back to look at your sister but she doesn’t even look sorry for what she did, “I hate this family.” You dressed up in a pair of overall shorts and a pink cropped sweater underneath, if you were going to confess to your next door neighbor you had to look cute. Imagine remembering this day at your wedding and you were dressed in one of your worn out pyjamas, it just ruins the whole mood. After a final reassuring hug from Lei, you step out of the house and notice the darkening sky with the stars beginning to embellish the yale coloured background. You took in a deep breath and skipped over next door.

A ring echoes throughout the house and you hear Seonghwa’s husky voice announce ‘I’ll get it’, and your heart rate increases, even more so when the door opens to reveal the object of your affection. “Hi.” you greet him meekly, the confidence you built up already out the window. “I need to tell you something.” the blonde gives you a confused smile and opens the door wider, “Do you wanna come in first?” you gulp down your nerves and politely refuse the offer with a shake of your head. The light from their porch lights up Seonghwa’s round eyes and it makes you even more jittery. _You came here to do this, don’t give up now. What’s the use of all that prep talk if you back out now? Right, I should man up, I grew some balls, time to use them_. You purse your lips and stare hard into nothing, the monologue in your mind still ongoing and Seonghwa just stands there, mildly concerned. His hand reaches up to tap at your shoulder but you quickly snap your head up to meet his eyes and blurt out. “I like you, please go out with me.”

“I’m sorry…” he finally speaks up after a long deafening silence, his voice quiet, as if speaking loudly will disrupt everyone in the neighborhood. Your heart stopped entirely, contradicting the rapid beats it had earlier. You spoke before thinking, “I- wh- what do you mean?” you look away from his somber eyes and direct your attention to the plant beside his porch. “I’m sorry y/n, but I can’t.” His words refused to be processed in your mind, “You can’t what?” Seonghwa runs a stressful hand through his dark roots, “I’m sorry but…”. If you hear ‘I’m sorry’ one more time, you will punch him in the gut, feelings or none. “Why are you sorry?” your eyes were wide and dull, there were no tears and no traces of anger in them. They were just empty and lifeless. “I can’t be with you.” 

“Ah, I see. Okay then. I’ll get going.” you look up at his eyes one last time before turning back, “Wait, y/n.” Your gaze falls to the floor but your eyes remain lifeless, “listen-” “Who’s at the door?” Mrs. Park’s voice calls out from inside and suddenly light from the house spills out onto the porch. “Oh it’s you dear!” she exclaimed in delight, failing to read the tense atmosphere, and places a hand on your shoulder, “where are you going? You’re here now so why not stay for dinner.” She smiles at you and you try to return one of equal glee, but you couldn’t. “You look weak, come let’s eat.” “Mom, I don’t think that-” Seonghwa tries to hold his mother back but the woman just shushes him and tows you inside, setting you down on their dining table full of meat and greens and a whole roasted duck situated in the middle. “Y/n was outside so I thought I would invite her over.” Her husband nods at her words and smiles in your direction. Their oldest son scanned over your appearance and commented on how weak and fragile you looked, making the couple reach over and fill your plate with lots of meat, rambling about how you shouldn’t be skipping meals. The chair beside you scrapes against the laminate floors and the hairs on your arms stand up as if you were in the presence of a ghost. Seonghwa looks at you worriedly but you avoid his eyes and train them onto the ceramic plate in front of you. You felt your eyes start to burn and the tears welling up so you get rid of them by blinking rapidly, hoping none of them notices. Seonghwa obviously did, because he bit his lip in guilt and tries to place a hand on your arm, but stops midway when he sees you flinch. 

You stayed muted throughout the meal and only responded to the family’s questions briefly and forced a tight smile. You try your best to ignore Seonghwa’s pleading stares, begging for you to pay attention to him, to hear him out. Oh but you were stubborn, not once did you turn his way for the entire evening. You refuse to look him in the eye, because you knew that one glance at his bright round eyes, you’d lose all composure and breakdown right then and there. Per his mother’s request, Seonghwa walks you back home even if you lived right next door, because (in her words) it was common courtesy to walk a young lady back home in the dark. The moment you set foot outside their house, you made a run for it. Your feet taking you back home without needing to look, which would still be useless since your eyes were glazed with tears and everything around you was blurry. You hear Seonghwa’s voice call out your name, or maybe that was just your imagination. Fuck he already rejected you, can’t your mind just accept that and not try to bring your hopes back. You slam the door behind you and ignore your sister’s worried calls, sprinting up to your room, you lock the door right before your sister could interfere. With your back against the wood, you slowly slid down and pulled your knees to your chest, the dam behind your eyes breaking out fully. Your sister’s knuckles rap at the door which is soon followed by your grandma’s worried calls. You faintly hear San’s voice there too, but it was all a blur. 

_I love how you tried your hardest to not hurt me, I’m sorry but it was inevitable. However; even with that nothing changed between you and me._

You woke up the next morning on the floor, still wearing the same thing from last night. Your eyes were bloodshot and puffy when you checked in the mirror, tugging off your overalls and discarding your sweater, you sniffled once more before putting on a long white sleeping gown, planning on sleeping off the entire day after breakfast. Wow, you definitely didn’t expect this. Seonghwa, there seated at your kitchen counter, with a stack of pancakes in front of him. Lei was in the corner, glaring at the blonde with all her might. The said male opens his mouth but you cut him off with a small smile, not wanting to hear him apologize one more time. “Good morning.” you return the greeting and sit in front of him, getting ready to dig into your pancakes. But before you could shove the first piece in your mouth, a veiny hand reaches out and takes the bite for himself. “Yeosang.” You whine and stare at your now empty fork while the said male just laughs in your face. His laughter, however, comes to an abrupt halt when he notices your reddened eyes. “What happened to you?” he places a hand on your arm, worry washing over his handsome features. Your eyes shift to Seonghwa who freezes in his spot and breaks out in cold sweat, “I rewatched Marley and Me last night.” you lie after a few moments of silence. Seonghwa visibly relaxes at this, his eyes shining gratefully at you while Yeosang whines in the background about how you watched the movie without him. You turn to the blonde for a quick moment and offer him a bashful smile, and he smiles back at you, as if you two promise to yourselves to keep last night a secret and that it never happened.

_You remained kind to me and treated me the same way, I really admire you for that._

_I learned that there are different kinds of people in this world. Some have tendencies to show their platonic affection physically, you were one of them and it’s absolutely attractive on you. I do admit that I am a simpette (sweetie is that even a word? I don’t really know, I found it on the Urban Dictionary), so your words just made my heart flutter a certain way._

_Seonghwa, you are the literal kindest person I’ve met, thank you._

_Thanks a bunch Marie Kondo,_

_y/n, your next door neighbour_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again! can be found in tumblr (@talkbykhalid) n wattpad (@bIushers) ONLY!


	5. to: jeong yunho.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To: Jeong Yunho.
> 
> Your first kiss and the father of your little pup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi its me. with the uh, long awaited yunho letter... :D 
> 
> i suck i know im a week late and im sorry, so i hope this 16k letter makes up for it

To: Jeong Yunho

_I was having a bad day, terrible. Angry face._

The day has finally come to an end, and you couldn’t be happier. It was a mess of a day (in your opinion), why? Let’s start from the top, shall we? When you opened your eyes this morning, you saw the way your alarm clock blared 7:46 AM in bright white LED lights. That would have been fine, if you didn’t have a class at eight it would totally be fine. So you threw yourself off the bed and rushed to get the fuck out of there, only having time to spare your grandmother and Seonghwa (whose first class was scheduled at 10) a ‘good morning’ and a wave goodbye. 

Fortunately, you got class on time (barely in one piece, but we won’t talk about that). Now, halfway into your lecture, your hand digs into your pocket in search of your phone, oh but what is this? Empty pockets? _Well that’s just great_ , you huff and continue scribbling down notes, but this time with added aggression. Yeosang met you out in the hallway after your lecture, dressed in a casual black turtleneck tucked into jeans of the same colour and a stark silver cable necklace hanging around his neck. “Why didn’t you answer my calls?” he says immediately when you get in front of him. You groan out exasperatedly and throw your head back and adjust the strap of your shoulder bag, “I left my phone at home.” dragging out the last syllable to emphasize your misery. The brunette in front of you laughs right at your face before patting down your untamed hair, “bad day?”. You pout and nod, whining about how the day just started and it’s already shit. 

You two were walking to your next class and that’s when it dawns on you that you haven’t had breakfast yet. You curse to yourself and rummage around your bag in hopes of finding a stray granola bar inside, _just that, please. Something for the hungry plebeian._ You came out with nothing, sighing into your seat, you lean your head against Yeosang’s shoulder and whine until he pays attention to you. “What do you want, ugly?” he finally gives in after the fourth cry of his name. “I’m hungry.” your dark irises look up at him with the best puppy eyes you could muster and your friend just scoffs in return, “Pig”. You gasp in false offense, pushing yourself off of him and scooting your butt down the bench, away from him. “Your best friend, who hasn’t eaten breakfast, is dying of starvation and all you do is call her a pig?” Yeosang turns to you and furrows his brows, “You didn’t eat?” he reprimands you with a roll of his eyes and begins digging into his bag. A rectangular green packet lands on your lap and catches you off guard, ‘Home Run Ball’. _It’s his favourite snack_ , you turn to him and explain that you woke up late and had to hurry the fuck up or you’d have missed your first class. “But why this though?” Yeosang rolls his eyes and pulls out a binder from his backpack, “Aight, I’ll get you a proper meal next time.” You shake your head and hold the snack back to him, “But this is your favourite.” you reason out with unsure eyes, the male just waves it off and twirls his pen in between his fingers, assuring you that it was fine and that he had lots at home. But that was a lie, he ran out this morning ad was planning on getting more at the end of the day.

Noon finally came which directly translates to lunch, unfortunately you were broke for the day and Yeosang said he had things to buy later; so your lunch was limited to what the school cafeteria served. “I’m sorry.” Yeosang sighs depressedly when he settles down on the bench in front of you, in return you roll your eyes with a smile. “It’s fine, at least it’s proper food.” you set your steel tray on the table, parallel to the brunette’s tray. If you were going to be honest, it wasn’t the best plating you’ve seen, and the proportions weren’t even equal. The rice looked a bit wonky in your opinion, and maybe they could put a little more meat in each serving, but you’ll just have to make do with what you have. You slurp up a spoonful of the spicy tofu soup and suddenly cough up at the overwhelming amount of spices incorporated in the just broth. Yeosang sees this and tries it out himself and having the same outcome, the two of you race to gulp down a glass of water to wash down your throats and share a hearty laugh afterwards. “What the fuck is this?” Yeosang quietly coughs out while you laugh even harder at his reddened cheeks and sweaty nose. “I think they put too much pepper flakes.”

-

You’ll admit that the incident earlier wasn’t _that_ bad, because even if it was one of the worst things you put in your mouth, you got to spend time with Yeosang. Not that you don’t usually do that, but you noticed that you were smiling a lot more. At least something good happened in your day, but that joy was short lived. Right after you had lunch, you rushed down to Biology, which was your most hated class this semester. Yes it was hard, but what made it the worst was your professor, Han Seong Su. He was a middle aged man whose hard eyes hid behind a pair of thick rimmed glasses, at first glance he might seem like a nice man, but no, you saw it with your own eyes. Kim Yewon was a girl you shared bio with, she was pretty cute-- her plump round cheeks almost always had a soft flush to them and she was really friendly; therefore, seeing her being targeted by your professor really hit a nerve. Professor Han was infamous for being a fast talker, thus he gave out speedy lectures and at the very end of his discussions he would ask the worst question known to students, “any questions?”. And on that day, newly transferred student Yewon raised her hand and requested for the teacher to move a couple slides back. Of course, he either could have done what she asked and told her not to do it again, or lightly scold her for not paying attention. In this case, however, he acted immaturely and blew up at the young woman right in front of the class. Poor Yewon was scarred and nearly skipped out the next time she had Biology, but luckily she listened to her morals and showed up halfway into the discussion. 

Today he was being extra bitchy, and decided to turbo through his discussions faster than you’ve ever seen him. Everyone was panicking, not being able to write down a single sentence before the man in front switched the slide, but no one had the courage to call him out. In the middle of your own hysteria, you see from the corner of your eye that one girl with pastel highlighters and glitter pens starts to break down because she accidentally used a green highlighter on red ink. In short, the entire room was in chaos and the only person oblivious to it was Han Seong Su. Or maybe he was actually aware, because, judging by the nearly cruel smile on his face, he seems to be enjoying this. That bastard. Your fingers busted themselves out nearing the end of the discussion and so you decide to just give up entirely, your eyes scan over your notes and cringe at the barely legible penmanship, a sob escapes your lips and your head makes a thumping sound when it comes into contact with the wooden table. _Fuck I’m exhausted,_ your fingers lifelessly play with the the blue ballpen that you were previously using, ears shutting out all the sounds in the room (especially Seong Su’s low unpleasant voice) and your eyes roaming around the room before finally spotting a mop of red hair. Yewon sat there, a couple rows in front of you, calmly writing down her notes as if it was nothing. She really grew from that experience a couple weeks ago. Good for her, maybe you could ask to copy off her notes later. 

“Yewon!” the red head turns at the sound of her name being called out by you. You caught up with her after class and asked her about the notes thing, to which she replies with an unsure smile and pulls out a thick black notebook. You watch her as she flips over to the desired page and shows you a page filled with many scribbles, but if you look closer, instead of the many terms mentioned by the professor, it has various names of food written on the lined paper. “I got tired of his shit, so fake it ‘till you make it, I guess.” You could feel your soul physically leave your body and you give her a pained smile before politely saying goodbye.Your feet trudged down the halls and your hand automatically digs into your pocket to call Yeosang, but you forgot, you left your phone at home. You were _this_ close to having a tantrum, right in the middle of the hallway. You were so ready to just throw yourself onto the floor and cry. You were dramatic, what could you say? You knew that even if you started looking around for Yeosang, you wouldn’t find him. Because he was either a.) suffering in class or b.) skating with his eboy friends. Since it was a Thursday, you know that it was the former. Luckily for you, you no longer have any classes so you could go back home and mope all you want. 

_Did you know that I’ve always had a liking for dogs. They’re always so happy and energetic and it’s just so contagious._

You know what would be nice after a bad day? A big tub of rocky road ice cream, and binge eating it all by yourself in your room, or until Yeosang shows up and finishes the rest. With a hand on the strap of your shoulder bag, you make your way to the convenience store down the street to carry out your plan. _What’s that?_ You slow down your steps and tuck a lock of hair behind your ear as if it was going to help you hear better. _Barking?_ Your ears pick up a faint barking from around the corner, but as your feet bring you closer, you take notice in the addition of an even louder and lower bark along with sharper barks. It seems like there’s a lot of dogs there, so you decided to check it out. You were glad you did, in front of you stood a large glass window giving you a sneak of what’s inside. Dogs. Your eyes glimmer and your heart soars, they looked absolutely adorable, many different coloured Pomeranians either ran around the wooden flooring or sat obediently on the customer’s laps. Two pugs lay on the ground trying to bite each other’s ears off while a group of spectators quietly film them on their phones.

You made up your mind, you were going in. On your way to the glass doors you pass by the menu displayed on an easel right by the entrance. _What the fuck, that much for a frappe?_ Your eyes land on the price that will probably take more than half the change you got from the cafeteria earlier. Inside you were fuming, you were having a bad day already and now this, you huff out through your nose and turn your heel to go back. But a particular bark reaches your ears and it practically demands your full attention. You look back and find a golden retriever pup, its big beady eyes gleam up at you and its tongue coming up to swipe at its nose, _fuck it I’m going in_ . You went against your better judgement and pushed the doors open, making the chimes above the door tinkle. A teacup shih poo runs up to your feet and snuggles against your fuzzy socks, your heart leaps at the sight. But before you could reach down to pet it, a worker comes in and scoops the dog up in her arms, “Welcome to Chienne.” she smiles up at you and gestures for you to take a seat. Once you sink down on a barrel seat and set your bag on the table in front of you, a small white Pomeranian scratches at your white washed jeans, you giggle and reach down to pick it up; however, the golden retriever from earlier runs up to you and stops you by hopping onto your lap. You yelp out in shock and at the sudden weight on your thighs, but you ruffle it’s fur nonetheless. “What’s your name?” you coo at the canine, partly expecting a reply (yes you’re crazy), and run your fingers through his golden locks in search of his collar. You soon find the white leather around his neck and the gold name tag with “Io” engraved in the front and a number at the back with the name of the owner, _Jeong Yunho_. 

_I’ll be honest, I don’t like tiramisu…_

For a few more moments you play around with Io for a bit, ruffling his fur and cooing at him before finally turning to look at the menu displayed above the counter. _Yikes_ , you’ve already seen the prices outside but they still surprise you when you see them again. You also realize that the prices exhibited outside were, in fact, their lowest costs. _A strawberry shortcake for how much? This is capitalism._ You scan over the list to see what was the most expensive, it was the very thing you were thinking of. Apparently (from the description beside the picture) the shortcake was made of large strawberries imported from Japan. You huff in disbelief and sink your shoulders, the golden retriever doing the same thing. Making you let out a little chuckle before reaching into your bag and pulling out your blush coloured wallet and checking its guts. You have two choices, buy a frappe and go hungry, or buy a slice of shortcake and settle for the lukewarm water in your bag. You stayed still for a minute while Io licks at the hand you put on his head, finally deciding on the former, you pat the seat next to you and tell pup to guard your stuff, to which he surprisingly obeys. 

_But when I saw you behind the counter preparing the tiramisu, you looked very pretty. Your hair… well it was very eye-catching._

As you near the counter you notice at the bottom of the menu, ‘tiramisu’ written in the same font as the rest of the text, but this one was significantly cheaper, and if you think about it you could get a tiramisu and a frappe. But, tiramisu wasn’t really your thing, so far all the tiramisus you ate either had overpowering coffee or bland cream, which had the same result, too much coffee flavour. So that immediately put tiramisu at the bottom of your dessert list, so that wasn’t a choice. You stood in a short line and looked back at Io who was still situated where you told him too, _awh what a good boy._ You peek over the shoulders of the person in front of you and notice a tall young man with distractingly bright blue hair behind the counter prepping a square of tiramisu on a pristine white dessert plate, sifting a thin layer of chocolate powder on the surface of the sweet. It was now your turn to order and you have been practicing your dialogue while in line, it went like this: “Hi, good afternoon, a slice of strawberry shortcake please.” and then you’d smile like the nice customer you were. After having repeated it many times in your head, you were confident. You smile at the female behind the register and open your mouth to speak out your order, “Hi, good afternoon, I’ll have a-” . Coincidentally, the blue haired boy in the black apron just so happened to announce the completion of his masterpiece, “Tiramisu!” he calls out as he places it on a dark tray with a large cup of coffee beside it.

“Tiramisu.” _fuck._ Your fingers twitch at your side and you freeze. “Will that be all?” the blonde female repeats her question and you give her a gawky nod, handing her your cash, she returns your change and hands you a black coaster pager, immediately you rush back to where Io sat. You sit facing the dog and he places a paw on the armrest of your cushioned seat, as if he understood your stress. “I messed up Io.” you bury your face into your hands and huff, the dog tilts his head to the right and licks at your hands, you explain to him how you ordered a tiramisu when you didn’t even like it. “I’m stupid.” the golden fur ball places a paw on top of your head and whimpers, sympathizing with you. A certain blue haired man watches you from behind the counter as he observes your interaction with his dog with an amused smile one his thin lips. Soon after the plastic coaster starts blinking and buzzing, you quickly get up and claim your tiramisu, with the retriever on your tail. “Look at this Io,” you point at the dessert and sneer, “it looks beautiful.” the said dog tilts his head once again, confused as to why you looked so upset. “The barista looks really cute too.” you look back at the counter and see your subject tampering with the coffee machine. Io barks and wags his tail, telling you that that’s his owner you’re talking about, but of course you didn’t understand. “What was that?” you turn to the dog and pat his head, “I should get his number?” the pup suddenly stops wagging his tail and looks at you with what seemed like skeptical eyes. You laughed in disbelief, this dog was really trying you.

“What does that mean?” you scratch him behind the ears and he barks happily, leaning into your touch. “I don’t care what you say, I’m gonna get his number.” you boop his black nose and dig into your tiramisu, _yep still not good._ You force the bite down and think about how to make this taste good without insulting the staff. A drink obviously, just then you notice the blonde cashier begin untying her apron and wave goodbye and watch as the blue haired male takes her place behind the cash register. _Oh, hehehe_ . Your mind forms a great scheme and you grab a piece of tissue from the tabletop tissue dispenser and a pen from inside your bag, scribbling down “#?” on the paper alternative. You approach the counter with a few bills in hand and the tissue wedged in between the last two bills. “Good afternoon.” He greets you with a full smile and your heart does a flip, _angel?_ , “What would it be?”. You stutter out your order, a medium fresh strawberry milk, and watch as he punches it in and accepts your money, flipping through it with his long fingers and stops when he notices the piece of tissue peeking out. You look away and divert your attention on their display case, _the strawberry shortcake looks so good_. You try not to notice the way the male chuckles and shakes his head while handing you your change and another coaster pager, his fingers brushing against your palm and a shiver runs up your spine. “Io, Io, Io.” you chant the dog’s name and scramble to his side, “did you see that Io? He’s so pretty.” the golden retriever barks in return and you imagine what you look like to everyone in the café. Talking to a dog like he understands you, they must be looking at you like you’re some idiot, it wasn’t a complete lie, but still. Io wags his tail and barks, getting off his seat and circles your legs before licking your jeans and laying on his back. You coo at the sight and reach over to rub at his belly, murmuring praises at the pup.

Io comes up to lick at your face and you laugh, falling back against the seat while the golden retriever hops up onto your lap. Wrapping your arms around the mammal and sniffing at his fur, “Io, you smell like vanilla!” the said dog barks happily with a wag of his tail and licks your cheek one last time. He suddenly halts his actions and jumps down to sniff and circle around a pair of long legs clad in dark brown slacks that approached your table. Before you could look up at the stranger, a slice of strawberry shortcake was placed in front of you. “But I didn’t order this.” you look up to meet a pair of round russet eyes. “You didn’t, but I did.” he shows you his dazzling row of pearly whites and you stop breathing. It’s like second nature, the way you lose your breath when your eyes meet someone so beautiful. The tray in his hand wobbles a bit but he saves it and grabs the plastic cup on top of, holding it out to you. Your eyes catch the set of numbers scribbled messily on the cup sleeve and it takes you a while to process. “Call me.” tugs the name tag pinned onto his apron, showing you his name. _Jeong Yunho…_ hm that sounds familiar. Yunho picks up the silent coaster on your table and sighs about how its buzzer wasn’t working before giving the dog by his feet a pat on the head and walking away. Then it finally sinks in. 

“He’s your owner?!” you whisper-shout in shock, gently grabbing the dog’s collar and twisting to find the small dangling plate. “So you’re saying that I have been talking to you about your owner?” Io barks and sticks his tongue out, panting happily. You stay in the café for a little longer, opening a textbook and reading with Io keeping you company. As you munch on the last bit of strawberry in your drink, you look up at the antique clock hung on the wall across you and notice that it has been a little over an hour since you got here and ultimately decided to head back with your shortcake devoured along with the strawberry milk, but the tiramisu remained half-eaten. Patting Io’s head goodbye, you gathered your things and headed out, not missing the voice that calls out “come again soon!” after you. That voice that was sweet and familiar. _Oh that’s right, that was Yunho’s voice_ , you thought to yourself as you made a turn around the curb, _he gave me his number,_ you giggled. _It was on the cup sleeve_ , your feet stop in their tracks, _oh fuck the cup sleeve_ . You’ve never ran that fast in your life, your heavy sneakers pounding against the pavement. When you reach the building, you peek through the large window and train your eyes on your previous seat, the table was now clean and occupied by a lovely couple, _ah fuck my life_ . Just when you thought your day would get better, this happened. You slump your shoulders and sulk away. _Idiot, you had your chance_ , you pout with downcast eyes, _there’s no way he’s gonna give me his number again after this_. 

“You forgot something.” a hand enters your line of vision, in it was a white cup sleeve with nine digits scrawled messily by a permanent marker. You trail your eyes up from the hand to the arm and finally the male’s face, having to crane your neck to meet his eyes. Yunho’s bright blue hair lights up the entire street, and his puppy smile brightens up your heart. He was out of his beige button down and dark slacks café uniform and instead he dons a simple oversized gray hoodie and a cotton flannel over it. A black backpack hangs over his left shoulder and in his right hand, he holds a white leather leash. A bark snaps you out of your trance and you notice the golden retriever on a leash sitting obediently by Yunho’s feet. “I, uhm. How, what?” you struggle to find the proper response and Yunho giggles, placing the strip of paperboard onto your hands. “Hope you come back soon.” With his cheeks tinted pink he bids a small goodbye and tugs Io’s leash, jogging down the street, opposite to where you were headed.

-

“Why haven’t you been answering our calls?” Lei questions from the kitchen the moment you enter your household, “I left my phone here.” you huff and toe off your sneakers at the entrance and pick them up. You ask your sister about your best friend's whereabouts and at the mention of his name, Yeosang throws your bedroom door open and calls out your name in a loud whine as he jumps down the stairs. “Bitch, you were gone for too long, I can’t believe you survived without me or your phone.” he passes you your rectangular gadget and you squeal out in joy after finally reuniting with the love of your life. “Y/n.” Lei calls you into the kitchen. You pop your head into the room and give an attentive hum, she gestures you closer, “Where have you been, by the way?”. Your sister suddenly starts breaking out into a fit of sneezes. Oh right, Lei was allergic to pets, that’s why you couldn’t get one. “Oh my fucking god, is that dog fur?!” she exclaims after blowing her nose into a piece of tissue. “Ah, right. I stopped by a dog café earlier.” you smile, free of guilt and regret. “You’re covered in dog fur!” Lei wails and reaches for another piece of tissue, “Jesus, it’s killing me!” she cries like the dramatic bitch she is, _why does Lei have to be so dramatic every single time_. “Good, I hope it does.” you retort, which results in a tissue box being thrown at your head. 

“Why were you at a dog café?” Yeosang questions from the floor while he rolls a lint roller across the denim jacket you wore earlier. You just got out of the shower, per Lei’s demand, and sigh while grabbing another lint roller and start rolling out your pants. “I was having a bad day, as you already know,” the brunette looks up at you and nods, attention set on you but his hand proceeds with the task, “and so I went to buy some ice cream, but then I heard barking and I couldn’t help it!” You don’t notice the way Yeosang’s pupils dilate when he lays his eyes onto yours, occasionally travelling down to your lips but snapping back up when he notices, his ears block out all the noise and his attention zeroes on you. The way your eyes sparkle when he vaguely reads ‘puppy’ from your lips, and the wide smile that spreads across them, they all contribute to the increase of Yeosang’s heart rate. It goes quiet in his mind, no thoughts, his brain blank, he only sees you. Nothing else. The quick flick of your wrist when you tuck a lock of hair back behind your ear-- because when you explain things you move a lot and some of your dark tresses manage to fall over your face, catches his eye. His gaze falls to the thin golden band you wore around your ankle and the small sun shaped pendant in the middle, it brings his thoughts to the similar anklet around his own ankle but with a crescent pendant. A little something you two bought for each other a couple weeks ago, for your fourth friendsary. Every thirtieth of June, you two always plan out to do something with your yearly friendship savings. Whether it be a semi-fancy dinner or a quick trip to Jeju, you name it and Yeosang’s ready to make the plans. This year, you two decided on getting matching accessories; bracelets were too predictable, necklaces were too tacky, and earrings… well earrings were cute, but when Yeosang laid his eyes on the two sun and moon anklets in the display case, he knew it was perfect for the two of you.

The brunette watches as you grab your bag and dig around before pulling out a paperboard cup sleeve and showing it to him. “He gave me his number!” The ringing in Yeosang’s ears comes to an abrupt halt and all the sounds in the room crashes into his ears. “Who?” his hands pause and his heartbeat dropping, not again. He remembers your experience with Hongjoong, you were happy with him, so so happy, and he was glad, but he just couldn’t shake off that disconsolate feeling deep down. He also remembers how you broke down in his arms that day. The sound of your pained cries haunted him at night and never in his life has ever felt so much hatred towards another person. Now imagine if he knew about what happened between you and Seonghwa, if he was there to witness the way you tried your best to muffle your sobs, to seal them off from the world. If he saw the pain in your eyes that night, and how you longed to just scream and ask to finally be loved by someone. “The barista at the dog café!” But right now, your eyes were gleaming in delight. You looked so happy at the mention of this guy’s number as your eyes moved across the messy penmanship. 

-

Bells above your head chimed as the glass doors of the café opened when you entered, your chunky black sneakers thumping softly against the wooden floorboard as you walked down towards the same barrell seat yesterday. The same six month old pup runs towards you and hops onto your lap, covering your mom shorts in his gold fur. “Io, it’s nice to see you again.” You bring a hand up to pat at the pup’s head, “So this is the boy who nearly killed Lei last night.” Yeosang comments, taking a seat in the identical chair in front of you. “Hm, he’s cute, right?” scratching behind his left ear, the golden retriever sinks further into you and pants happily. “His name’s Io?” your best friend leans in and checks at his collar, flipping it over and reading the owner's info engraved into the bronze pendant. “Jeong Yunho?” Io’s ears perk up at his owner’s name being mentioned (yours did too but we don’t need to talk about that) and barks. You gesture at the counter and Yeosang follows your gaze, his eyes landing on a distracting mop of blue hair. “That’s him, he gave me his number.” Yeosang nods and nothing else. He just nods. Suddenly, a Yorkshire Terrier barks from his feet and scratches at the denim of his jeans, begging to be picked up by the handsome boy. 

_I really like how your laugh chimes in my ears and brings the heavens down to earth._

The hearty and joyous laugh erupts from the counter catches your attention and your heart thumps against your ribcage. Yunho’s laughter drifts through the air and straight into your mind, embedding itself into your memories. A soft tint flushes across your cheeks at the sound and you find yourself stuck in a daze. Your eyes stuck on the astonishingly beautiful blue haired man who currently has a smile on his soft features, his eyes crinkled into slight crescents as he giggles about whatever his coworker said. You observe the glimmer in his eyes and the light lilt of his voice when he speaks. And it takes you back to last night, when he suddenly showed up in front of you, knowing why you came back and had precisely what you were looking for. It’s as if fate brought you two together. Yeosang notices the sudden shift in your mood, as if your usual loud, obnoxious self was reduced into a blushing pile of shyness, all because of one guy. Io barks softly and nibbles on your fingers, snapping you out of your trance and directing your attention back to the male in front of you. “What would you like, Yeosang?” you turn to him, pulling your wallet out, “I’ll pay.” The brunette in front of you raises his brows in mild surprise, not really expecting you to buy him anything but he wasn’t complaining. His eyes scan over the menu and they sparkle in mischief. “A strawberry shortcake and a large caramel frappuccino.” Your fingers halt and you slowly turn to him, forcing a tight smile on your lips. _Lil bitches really are lil bitches no matter what, does he really think I have the money for that?_. “You’re a bitch, you know that?” And he replies with a flying kiss in your direction.

You pat Io’s head and gesture him off your lap, fishing your phone out of your pocket. You check your reflection on the black screen and comb your fingers through your hair, trying your best to look decent, but not too decent. You get me? Your hands pat down the creases on your graphic shirt before you exhale and get up on your feet. Yeosang watches as you fix your appearance, his heart sinking a little bit at the sight, his eyes following you as you stalk over to the counter. “Hi there.” you shyly greet the bright blue haired man, who was caught off guard by your sudden appearance. “Hey.” he replies after recovering from the initial shock, his eyes turning down bashfully, “You didn’t text me last night”. Yunho’s hand comes up to rub at the back of his neck, “I thought you lost interest, and maybe left my number on purpose.” _Oh shit,_ you gasp at the sudden realization, _fuck_. You totally forgot to put his number in your phone last night, too caught up planning your next visit to the café, which was today. You spent the entire night assembling your outfit, picking between various articles in your closet. Your first choice was a white pleated skirt with a black top and a matching varsity jacket over it. The second one was more on the smart casual side, a baby pink fitted top and a pair of beige trousers. After a long time of thinking, you settle with a completely different outfit, not really liking the girly style and it doesn’t seem to be a smart casual kind of situation. Which brings us to your outfit now, an oversized white shirt with a large graphic print in the front, tucked into a pair of denim mom shorts and a checkered belt around your waist. 

Guilt sunk down at the bottom of your stomach and you hurriedly waved your hands in front of you. “No, no that’s not it. I was just…” you shy away from his curious gaze and try to come up with an excuse. Because saying ‘I was just thinking about what I should wear today so that I’ll impress you and then you ask me out and then we’ll get married and grow old together’, is definitely normal, “preoccupied.” Yunho chuckles and shakes his head softly, dismissing the topic and asks for your order. “A strawberry shortcake with a large caramel frappe,” you watch as the male inputs your order before looking back up at you with those wide blown out eyes of his, “Will that be all?”. “A tiramisu and fresh strawberry milk.” you pitch in before he totals the cost. You hand him the exact amount with an addition of a few more bills. “Come to think of it, I don’t think I know your name yet?” his fingers brush against yours when he takes your payment. “Oh, uhm.” you stutter in disbelief, you were a total idiot so caught up in his name that you forgot to give him yours. “Y/n…” Yunho mumbles to himself, his ears tinting a light red and his heart picking up speed, “It’s pretty, just like you.” You fumble with your words, not knowing how to counter his attack, while the said male just laughs and hands you back your change. “Oh no, uhm. Keep the change.” Your fingers wrap around his significantly larger ones and push it back to him, “For the cake yesterday.” Yunho insists that you don’t need to pay him back, but you were stubborn. The blue haired man eventually gave in and moved to shove the money into the register before you stopped him, “It’s yours. It’s for your wallet.”

“My wallet? My boss would kill me if he sees.” Yunho grips the bills in his palms and looks at you worriedly. Letting out a sigh, you open your palm and offer to hold on to it until his shift ends. “Oh no, I can’t possibly let you do that.” He goes on about how it would be a burden for you to wait until he clocks out and how it would be better to put the money back in your wallet. “Whether you like it or not, I’m waiting for the end of your shift.” And with that, you saunter back to where Yeosang sat with Io and the Yorkshire Terrier on his thighs. The brunette’s eyes were trained hard on Yunho throughout your entire exchange, but none of you seem to have noticed. When you turned back to him, your face was flushed and your lower lip was stuck in between your teeth in a futile attempt to hold back your smile. Io barks and hops off the seat to meet you halfway, his paws tapping softly against the floorboards. You give the dog a pat on his head and walk back to the table with him trailing by your feet. “You sure know how to flirt.” Yeosang remarks when you reach his side, his fingers playing with the Terrier’s fur, looking like the diva he was meant to be. “I wasn’t flirting.” You deny with a blush and plop down on the cushions, hands finding their way to Io’s fur and scratching at his head. 

A sudden light giggle reaches your ears and your head snaps up to glance at the somewhat familiar laughter. You’re met with a pair of bright effervescent eyes accompanied by a wide genuine smile, and you feel your shoulders lighten. Your eyes remain stuck on Yunho with his giggly smile and shining eyes. Your heart unknowingly picks up its pace and causes butterflies to erupt in your stomach, their little dainty wings tickling your insides. His laughter echoes around your head as if the area was hollow (it was) and your fingers twitch, the urge to stomp over there and squish (or bite) his cheeks was strong. A mop of blonde hair steps into your line of vision and blocks out Yunho’s figure from behind the counter. “A customer requested for Io.” It was the cashier from yesterday, her bleach blonde hair pulled up into a messy bun and a callous glint in her eyes. You, of course, were confused because you didn’t know that dog cafés functioned like maid cafés, but at the end of the day, who were you to complain? You’ve only been here for two days, you don’t know their system yet. The blonde, whose name was Chloé from what her name tag said, calls Io over and guides the golden retriever to the other side of the room. She seems to be guiding her to the staff room, _customer my ass_. 

Your eyes drift back to the counter and you see Yunho, adding a dollop of whipping cream on a slice of strawberry shortcake and dropping a whole piece of the fruit on top of it. He then shifts his body and grabs a tin sifter, gripping the metal handle, the blue haired man begins to sift a thin layer of cocoa powder on top of a tiramisu. Your eyes lingered on his fingers and the way he lightly dusts the dessert, the prominent veins on his arms barely even flexing at the simple task, but even with just doing the bare minimum, Jeong Yunho still entices you. A faint buzzing sound and the flash of red LED lights catch your attention, but before you could grab the coaster pager, Yeosang’s large hand reaches for it first and offers to claim your orders. You huff and sink back in your seat as you watch him hand the Terrier over to you and walk to the counter. Your hands find purchase behind the dog’s ear, who then pants in glee all the while cocking its head to the right. Yeosang steps up to the counter, plastic coaster in hand, and claims the order. He notices the fleeting look of shock in Yunho’s eyes as they widen and he gives him a tight lipped smile with a nose scrunch. Not gonna lie, Yunho fully expected you to turn up in front of the counter, not some emo ass wannabe; complete with the sweater underneath a black shirt and the beanie. Yeosang hands the taller male the black pager and says nothing else. And with a smile so close to a scowl, Yunho hands the tray over to the brunette, who returns the same look and stomps back to the table.

It’s not like you could blame Yunho though, he didn’t start it. He wasn’t the one who came up with a glunch expression, as if silently challenging him to a duel. Bitch what the fuck was he? Wannabe emo alpha? Honestly, Yunho’s more confused than mad. He scratches his head with a puzzled expression directed at the brunette who was making his way to you. His gaze softens at the sight of you and a tender smile replaces his expression. The Yorkshire Terrier on your lap barks up at you, asking for your attention. Yeonshik (the terrier) snuggled into your touch and licked your hand in gratitude. Which was a bit of a surprise since the pup would take a while to warm up to new customers, or that was until you. You started visiting the café only recently, yet the pup seems to be all over. Just like Io. That was the first time he’s seen Io so enthusiastic to see someone other than him. Which reminds him, where is Io? He hesitantly took his eyes off you and Yeonshik (and that eboy aspirant) and turned to notify his manager that he’d be taking his break. 

Untying his apron, he twists the doorknob to the staff lounge and pushes it open. “Ow, bitch what the fuck?” a blonde pops up from behind the wooden door, a deep scowl on her features. But it was suddenly washed away at the sight of the male in front of her, “Oh, hey Yuyu.” Yunho scrunches his nose at the nickname, not that it was bad, he just didn’t like the way she says it. “Chloé have you seen Io?” He unbuttons the first button of his suffocating shirt and looks inside in search of his dog. And there the pup stood by his cowerker’s feet, his tail wagging to the left. The blue haired man rolls his eyes, this wasn’t the first time Chloé tried to get Io to warm up to her, and at this point even the pup’s grown tired of her desperation.

“I think Io’s finally starting to like me.” Chloé beams, obviously trying too hard to look cute. The said pup barks angrily before slipping between the female’s legs and to his owner’s side. “Listen Chloé, dogs don’t like it when you force things onto them,” Yunho leans down to scoop up his golden retriever, “if you want Io to like you then wait, and let him do his thing.” The blonde pouts and crosses her arms over her chest, “But why doesn’t he like me yet? I’ve known him for a couple months now. That girl out the--” she hurriedly shuts her mouth at her slip up. “Is that what this is about? You want Io to like you because he likes a new customer?” Chloé argues that it’s not like that but Yunho just sighs at her childishness and walks out, letting Io run across the floor and onto your lap. Yeonshik toppled off of you and landed on the floor with a soft thud. “Io, look what you did.” he hears you giggle and reach down to comfort the fallen puppy. 

-

_Your dazzling smile that never fails to leave me breathless._

After three weeks of constant visits to the dog café, you could proudly say that you were a dog mom. It quickly fell into a routine, after class (whether it be good or bad) you would hop over to the café to destress. Sometimes with Yeosang, sometimes without Yeosang. And when you get home, you’d shower and roll the fur out of your clothes, again sometimes with Yeosang’s help, sometimes without. Even if it was a pain to roll out three articles of clothing each night, you had to. Sacrifices must be made to keep the pups in your life. You also managed to familiarize yourself with each pup in the café; their names, their breeds, their ages, you name it. Sure all of these dogs were as cute and energetic, and you’d love each dog as much as the next one, but no one could ever snag first place in your heart. It was obviously Io. He had just the right amount of energy and knew how to read the atmosphere, plus he was hella cute. In other words, Io was the goodest boy. 

Okay, maybe having Yunho as his owner did play a part in your selection of favourites. But just a bit! Io was genuinely a really good boy with a really good (looking) owner. Speaking of Yunho, recently that son of a bitch has been running circles in your mind and you don't know how he wasn’t tired yet, it’s been three whole weeks.Yes his freshly dyed bright blue hair began to fade into a more mellow and pale shade of blue, but his radiant smile did not. In fact, it did the exact opposite.As the days go by, his smiles seem to glow even more than they did before. It was really unhealthy how you were beginning to associate your own happiness with Yunho’s existence. Can you blame yourself, though? Anyone who met Yunho would immediately tell you that he was indeed the epitome of jubilation, his presence itself could light up an entire street. When he smiles? The entire world would light up. No, you weren’t exaggerating, these were all facts that were scientifically proven, sorry but you don’t make the rules. It is what it is.

You went to the café everyday without fail, so much so that even the manager asked if you wanted to work there. Of course you declined, because labor? Yeah you’re not up for it. Although, mayhaps you could find a part time job later, but not now. Maybe in the next letter? You’re not so sure. But imagine, working side by side with Yunho and getting to watch him work in his beige button up that hugged his broad shoulders and chest just right, of course you already do that from over the counter, but getting to experience it first hand? Standing beside him behind the counter? Your heart would combust on sight. Your thoughts rushed to many scenarios; you wrapping your arms around his toned torso and cuddling in the staff lounge room, him encasing your hands in his huge steady ones under the counter,. 

“Hey, you good?” speaking of hands, Yunho’s fingers snap in front of your eyes, the thin silver band around his index finger glimmers under the lights of the café. Currently, you two were seated on your usual seat, a small circular table in the middle of two barrel seats pushed against the wall near the counter. Ever since your first visit, you have been occupying the same exact seat to an extent that the other customers knew and would keep the table vacant at around three pm. Today, Yunho requested to be let off earlier by his manager to make time for you. Which brings us back to the current situation, Yunho gives you another one of his smiles, his teeth nearly blinding you. “Yeah, I was just… thinking.” You pick at the loose threads of your ripped jeans and steer away from his bright eyes. “Thinking of what?” The blue haired man sets an elbow on his knees and leans his cheeks onto his palm. _You, and your pretty eyes, your cute smile, your cheeks-- oh my god they look squishy_ , was what you wanted to say but that would be creepy. “Nothing in particular,” your eyes roam across the table in search of a reason and land on the dessert plate in front of you, “just thinking about how good this tiramisu is.” Without thinking, you fork up a large piece and shove it in your mouth, the overwhelming taste of coffee exploding on your tastebuds. _Fuck_. 

Yunho’s eyes widen at your impulsive action and he grabs your strawberry milk before you can and lifts the straw up to your lips, leaning his tall figure over the small wooden table. After taking a long sip of the cold drink and washing the coffee down your throat, a small cough escapes your lips and you awkwardly watch him as he takes a seat and sighs at you. “I noticed that you don’t like my tiramisu.” You hurriedly shook your head. “That’s not it!” Yunho raises a brow and holds back a smile, “We all know you don’t like tiramisu.” he gives you a pointed look. “When I come to clean your table there's always tiramisu left on your plate, and it’s not like the little bit you leave when you ‘feel full’.” You didn’t expect to be scolded by the man, but here you are. “Why do you still order it then?” Being suddenly put on the spot really puts pressure on the human mind, makes them do some irrational things. Normally, you wouldn’t mind doing or saying some foolhardy things here and there, but not right now. So when “Because you look cute when you make it.” blurts out your mouth, you swear the world stops spinning. The many different cells inside your mind begin panicking, some falling dead on the spot, the rest planning your funeral. Mayhaps a bright neon yellow coffin would look good, because bitch it was gonna be _your_ funeral so everybody had to be looking at you. And glitter, everything had to have glitter. Fuck that red carpet bullshit, you want a glitter carpet.

A nervous chuckle escapes your lips and you grab your bag out of sheer panic and move to get the fuck out of there. But Yunho reacts first, he reaches for your wrist before you could start running and smiles softly at you. “I think you’re cute too.” Fuck the funeral, it’s time to plan a wedding. Maybe you could wear a neon pink dress and Yunho could match you with a neon pink tuxedo. Match made in heaven. The carpet will still surely be glitter-- ooh maybe you could put glitter on your dress and-- “Y/n?” Yunho’s low voice calls out at your buffering self, his hand still wrapped around your wrist and round eyes looking up at you. _Yunho called me cute…_ the gears in your mind slowly start turning and your whole face bursts into a deep shade of red. “Wh-what?” you stutter, making the tall man in front of you smile widely. “You heard me.” And just like that, your heart malfunctions along with your mind.

-

_Your large warm hands that hold the entire world, or that’s what you said_

Come to think of it, after nearly a month of visiting the café, you’ve never seen Yunho anywhere else. Well up until now. Today, on your usual Yeosang hunt (he texted you ‘am skating around the campus, teehee try to find me bitch’ earlier before your journey began) you decided to take a reroute on the way to the field. Passing by many unfamiliar halls, you stop at a certain intersection when loud echoed music reaches your ears. “Gone on you with the pick and roll…” _Travis Scott?_ You make a beeline towards where the music was coming from and stop in front of large wooden doors. The beats become clearer when you push open the door and your eyes land on a group of males in the center of the room. With your gaze drifting to the mirror in front of them, you sneak in the room, completely entranced by the way they move their bodies to the beat. Then you see him. From the mirror, your eyes land on a messy mop of faded blue hair in the middle of the formation. His eyes were fierce, even with his fringe falling down over his eyes you could still the fire within them. “Yunho…” you murmur to yourself, watching the said male with wide eyes. 

No, that can’t be. This man right can’t be your Yunho. This one had a different aura, instead of his usual cute puppy demeanor you saw beast. His eyes were trained hard on his own reflection, his expression twisted into a snark scowl, baring his row of pearly whites like a rabid dog. Feral. You bring a hand up to cover your mouth when it falls ajar. His feet stomp along with the beat and the bass manipulates your heartbeat, the amount of control the tall man had on his muscles amazed you. His execution of powerful moves looks so effortless, his facials were on point, perfectly complementing the hard music. For a six foot one man he sure made it look so easy. Having elongated limbs tend to make your moves look a tad bit awkward, but not in Yunho’s case. He had a talent, the way he moved his body according to the sharp moves and the amount of vigour he put in each delivery of moves, you were in awe. The performance ended on a high note, leaving Yunho panting, his built chest rising as he took deep breaths. At this point you wonder what’s the point in living anymore, you saw what you needed to see, the Lord can just take you, _please take me, like right fucking now_. 

Yunho’s eyes veer to your small figure standing conspicuously by the door, your hand lifted up to your lips and eyes wide. His heart increased in pace and his cheeks gained a bright red tint, did you see all that. “Y/n.” he calls out your name and he sees you visibly snap out of it and make eye contact with him through the mirror, making his eyes brighten and shimmer under the studio lights. Without thinking, Yunho’s long legs lead him to your disposition, his ears blocking out the protests of his friends around him who eventually call for a five minute break after their calls fall on his deaf ears. “What are you doing here?” you two blurt out at the same time and nervously chuckle afterwards, you tuck back a lock of your hair behind your ear while Yunho rubs a hand at the back of his neck. “I didn’t know you came here.” you start first, eyes avoiding each other's stares. “I didn’t know you came here either.” The blue haired male in front of you smiles sheepishly. “You never asked.” “Well, you know now.” he says after a few moments of silence, “I’m guessing you’re in the arts?” You smile and nod in confirmation. “How’d you know?” You don’t remember telling him your major, in fact it’s kinda unfair how he knew yours spot on but you didn’t know his. “I saw you breaking down and talking to a large sketchbook the other week, and it all clicked in my mind.” Embarrassment rushed through your veins but you quickly shook it off. “What clicked?” “Well you’re a mess 24/7, so i figured.” You hit his arm in protest, defensively whining out ‘I’m not _that_ big a mess’ before asking him his own major to get back at him.

Yunho opens his lips to answer but his friends call him over for another round of practice before he can let a sound out. “Are you busy later? Can we walk to the café together?” he runs a hand through his faded blue locks, sweeping away the strands that stuck onto his forehead. “I’m free.” you look up at his hopeful eyes and notice the way they shine in relief. “We’re almost done here, wait for me?” He starts walking backwards but still looks into your eyes expectantly, you can’t help but giggle and nod, more so when his lips stretch into a bright smile. Looking around, you situate yourself on the floor by the mirrors without blocking the dancers from seeing themselves. Admittedly, you were enjoying the performance too much, not noticing the constant vibrating of your phone in your bag through the loud music and stomping of feet on the floorboards. 

-

A cacophony of laughs echoed down the empty hallways as two idiots ran along the tiled floor. How’d you get here, you ask? Well simple. After Yunho’s practice, you two headed out to go to the café. Obviously, your conversation wandered off to the tall male’s golden retriever. “Man I can’t wait to see Io again.” you squeal and squeeze the strap on your bag. “I bet. Io’s been really excited to see you these days.” Yunho comments, eyes looking down at you from the corner of his eyes, a soft smile on his pouty lips. “Io loves me, dare I say even more than you!” You turn to the man beside you and squint your eyes, challenging him. “Oh is that so?” The said male turns to you and gives you the same look, adjusting the large black backpack on his shoulder. “I bet you 20,000 that Io will come to me first when we get there.” Yunho knows that you’re right, but he hides it behind a condescending act. “Well, I guess…” the blue haired man pauses while slowly picking up speed, “it all depends on who gets there first!” He exclaims in one breath and starts bolting down the halls. Leaving you baffled and buffering. “What the fuck?! That’s not fair!” You cry, noting how Yunho’s legs are almost twice the length of yours.

“Yunho, wait!” with all the strength left in your legs you push yourself at the tall male sprinting in front of you. Luckily, you manage to gather enough energy to pounce onto his back, sending the two of you tumbling down like Jack and Jill. Well before you two pummel into a wall, your back thudding against the concrete. “Oh shit, are you okay?” Yunho hurriedly gets on his feet and holds a hand out to you, which you gratefully accept while rubbing on the back of your neck. “Yeah, I’m good.” He inspects you up and down one last time before pouting out an apology. You, like you always do, laugh it off and assure him that it wasn’t his fault. The blueberry tugs you down the hall, carefully this time, still keeping a firm grasp on your smaller hand. 

When you two get to the café, Io runs up to your legs and scratches on the material of your cargo pants. After reaching down to pat at the dog’s head, you turn to Yunho with a smirk and hold your palm out to him. Laughing as he grumbles and reaches for his wallet and pulls out a few bills, slapping them on your outstretched palm. Io walks with you towards your usual spot and jumps up your lap, while you watch as Yunho sends you an overly done sneer as he walks into the staff lounge. Not even a minute after, Chloé pops out from the wooden doors and glares you down. _Whoa down bitch_ , you flinch, taken aback by her sudden hostility towards you. Well not really sudden, you could tell she didn’t like you from day one. 

You waited for Yunho until the end of his shift (which was about 6 PM) and had Io to keep you company, of course Yunho came up to you on his break and to serve you your fresh strawberry milk and strawberry shortcake. Because after that lecture from Yunho, you learned that you were officially banned from ordering tiramisu. Well, seeing Yunho pipe out whipped cream (with the veins in his arms popping out) wasn’t that bad a sight either. And at the end of the day, Yunho plopped himself down in front of you, making you look up from your drawing of the sleeping Io by your side. The large puppy in front of you falls onto the table, his long arms stretching over your sketchbook and he whines out your name. “I’m so tired.” You snicker at his suffering and pick at his hands. “You’re gonna mess up my drawing.” Yunho just looks up at you with a pout on his lips and his eyes pleading. 

Your eyes land on the large hands sprawled on the paper, smudging the lead lines with its fingertips. Without thinking, you pull up Yunho’s right hand and hold it against yours, his fingers reaching way past your tips. Your heart jumps at the feeling of his calloused palm against yours. You look over at Yunho and see that he still has his face against the wood but holds his hand up against yours. “Your hands are huge!” You exclaim and examine his hands one more time. Tracing the lines on his palm and tickling his fingers, making the barista let out a low chuckle before finally looking up and gazing into your eyes. “Well, you know what they say about men with big hands,” The hand against yours suddenly closes and engulfs your fist. Yunho rests his face on his free hand and leans closer while pulling you towards him. He’s so close, you can see the golden flecks in his eyes and smell the gum he was chewing on earlier. The man leans in closer and whispers into your ear, “we have big hearts.” You throw yourself back into your seat and startle Io, making him jump away from you and onto Yunho’s thighs.

Your cheeks heat up and you look away from Yunho’s cocky eyes. You hear him let out a hearty chuckle and it takes all your willpower not to look back at his dazzling smile. His hand, still wrapped around yours, lowers down to rest on the table. “Besides,” his hand squeezes yours softly while his thumb caresses the back of your hand. “They’re big enough to hold my whole world in them.” His earnest eyes meet your startled ones. Your heart turns on her treadmill and starts running at a concerning pace. Your blood rushes up to your face and dances along your cheeks and ears. The cells in your mind run around, partly besotted but highly confused. ‘What the fuck is he implying?’ one yells at the top of her cell-lungs, another smacks her up the head ‘Duh, he likes us obviously’ in the most smart ass voice ever. But before your cells can come together to arrange another wedding, Yunho pulls away and cups his golden retriever’s face. “Isn’t that right, Io?” He coos and lets the dog lick at his cheeks in affection.

_-_

You left the café not long after that whole occurrence. Fortunately, Yunho doesn’t realize your little mistranslation, or so you thought. Yunho saw the way your cheeks heated up and gained a rosy colour, but he panicked and turned to his dog instead. And I can assure you, that the moment you two parted ways, he fell onto the ground and groaned into his palms, whining to his pup about how he fucked up and all that shit. 

When you got home, the sun was already set and the lights on your front porch were already on. You dug into your pocket for your keys, but before you could slot the piece of metal into the keyhole the doorknob twists open and reveals a furious Yeosang. You yelp out his name in shock, “What are you doing here?” The rage in Yeosang’s eyes never let up, “‘What am I doing here?’ Yeah, what the fuck _am_ I doing here?” He curses at you and not in the usual friendly banter you two have. His voice was hard and pierced into your ears. “What’s wrong with you?” You take a step back and hold your breath, afraid that even the slightest exhale will cause an explosion.

You’ve never seen Yeosang this incandescent before, yeah sure you’ve seen him annoyed at certain times, but never at you. Your best friend scoffs in disbelief, “I’m the one with the problem, now?” Your brows furrow in alarm, _what the fuck is he talking about?_ “You’re the one who came up to me and started cursing!” You throw back with equal fervor, the confusion in your eyes dissolving into anger. “Where the fuck were you, y/n?!” Yeosang threw his skateboard onto the floor, alarming your neighbors at the loud thud. You never noticed Lei and your grandmother standing by the door and the lights in San’s room suddenly turning on and his figure appearing behind the glass. 

“Why do you need to know?” you yell back at him, and this time Seonghwa and his brother rush out to their lawn to see what the ruckus was all about. The tapping of their slippers on their concrete snaps you out of it and you look around and spot a few of your neighbors staring at you. “Yeosang, don’t make a scene here. Please.” You reach to grab his hand, like you always did when he was mad, but this time he avoids your touch and glares into your eyes with such resentment. “Fuck you! After what you did earlier? I’m allowed to make a scene, a fucking movie even!” Your mind tries its best to gather even the slightest bit of information from what you have just to make sense out of this argument. Usually your mind wouldn’t function, but when it came to your friendship with Yeosang she would do anything. But right now, no matter how hard you think, nothing comes to mind. 

“What do you mean?” you run a stressed hand through your dark tresses, on the verge of tears. “What did I do?” At this point you were more confused and scared rather than angry. The angry brunette rolls his eyes at you, “You don’t even know what you did?” he spits out with his fists clenched by his side. “How the fuck am I supposed to know? You never told me!” You yell back, stomping a foot on your porch. Yeosang continues to glare at you and you shrink back, feeling so small compared to him. You honestly don’t know what you did and only one thing popped into your mind. Should you try apologizing? There’s no harm in trying. “Listen, I’m sorry, okay?” Yeosang raises a brow, “Sorry for what, Y/n?” Well you tried. You bite your lip and comb your fingers through your hair, “I don’t know, Yeosang. But please forgive me.” You look up at him with desperation in your eyes. But your best friend just casts down his eyes, and lets out a humourless laugh. “Forgive you? I can’t even look at you right now.” 

“What the fuck did I do, Yeosang?!” You cry, tossing your bag onto the floor. “Why are you so mad at me? What did I ever do to you?!” Tears start brimming your eyes, you can’t handle being in an argument with Yeosang and your friendship tiptoeing on a tightrope. “See this your fucking problem, y/n!” Yeosang’s eyes widened and even through the darkness of the night you could see the vexed glint in his deep brown eyes. “You don’t know me in situations like this.” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean, ‘I don’t know you’? Yeosang that’s bullshit.” “You forget me when you meet someone new!” He finally snaps, taking a dangerous step towards you, “It’s like you don’t even know who I am! It’s like I never existed to you!”. His steps progress until he’s right in front of you, his eyes trained hard onto yours. “But who do you run to when they leave you?” The male practically hisses through his gritted teeth. “That’s right, me! But when you get all desperate to get some dick in your life, you erase me from your mind!” 

A slap echoes into the night and the street suddenly turns silent. Yeosang cups his cheek with his large hand, an unimpressed smirk on his face. “Fuck you, Yeosang.” you sob, tears flowing freely down your cheeks. It hurt, the way Yeosang spat out ‘desperate’ right at your face. “Why are you crying?” Your friend-- no, you don’t even know what he is to you right now-- scoffs. “Did I hit a nerve?” He looked so cruel right now, no traces of your dorky best friend anywhere. His eyes were dark and filled with repugnance. “When Yunho leaves you or some shit, don’t you dare come to me.” He turns his back to you and kicks up his skateboard, “I won’t open the door.” and skates away. So you’re left there, confused and hurt. Lei wraps an arm around you and drags you away from the scene, your grandma picking up the bag you tossed down. “Y/n,” your sister starts when she sits you on your couch, the tears in your eyes build up but refuse to escape, “it’s Tuesday.” And just like that, you broke down in your living room with Lei’s arms around you. You’re such a bad friend.

-

_… and most especially, your eyes. The way they twinkle in the light, the amount of emotion within them just has me like a fish on a hook._

“Y/n,” Yunho walked up to you after his shift, he noticed that you looked drained today and guessed that you were having a bad day, “what’s wrong?”. Even Io noticed your mood, he sat by your feet and looked up at you with sad eyes. When the tall male sees your puffy, bloodshot eyes, he immediately reaches up to cup your face and eye you with worried orbs. “Yeosang and I had an argument.” Yunho knows how much Yeosang matters to you, you talk about him a lot. In fact, if you didn’t ask for his number before, he would have thought that you two were dating. You told him about when you first met Yeosang and the banana ‘allergy’ thing and he couldn’t stop laughing. And that one time when Yeosang transformed into an angry mother when you went to your first college party. You also storied him about the many rituals you have, like your annual friendship bond date on the 30th of June and your Wednesday breakfast runs. Which reminds him, “What’d you get with Yeosang this morning?” he questions you, hoping to steer the conversation into a brighter mood. But instead you burst into tears and he starts panicking because it looks like he made you cry.

“I forgot all about our Tuesday movie date.” You sniffle out and it all clicks in Yunho’s mind. Yesterday was Tuesday and what did he do yesterday? He kept you from going home and spending time with your best friend. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry.” He feels at fault for your entire fight, because if he didn’t hold you back, you two would have enjoyed your movie night. “N-no, Yunho. It’s not your fault.” You smile through your tears. But it was his fault, for Yunho that is. “It would have been fine if we left it at that. But then we started shouting and the whole neighborhood heard us.” You laugh and Yunho really admires you for having the strength to even muster a smile considering your situation. “I’m kinda surprised they didn’t call the cops on us.” You wipe your cheeks with the sleeve of your sweater and try to stop the tears from flowing. “We said a lot of things last night. I didn’t mean most of what I said, but I’m pretty sure Yeosang finally snapped.” Your mind wanders back to his words last night. _‘Desperate to get some dick’_. It stung, how easily those words flowed out of his mouth. “He must have been holding a lot back.”

Yunho’s eyes soften and he caresses your cheek with his thumb. How can he make you feel better? “Do you want to talk to Yeosang? I could giv--” “He won’t talk to me.” You gesture to your phone on the table, the screen blaring with the numerous cancelled calls from you to Yeosang. “I fucked up, Yunho.” You sigh one more time, wiping away the last teardrop that rolled down your face. Yunho leans back into his seat, the cells in his mind running around, trying to find a way for you to cheer up. “Hey, are you free later?” What the fuck is wrong with him? That one question was what caused your fight but here he is asking you again. You chuckle and close your phone, “Yeosang or no Yeosang I’m always free Wednesday evening.” His goal was for you to forget Yeosang, but all he did was remind you of your argument. 

Which brings us to where you were now, walking down the boardwalk and looking around at the many different game stalls in the fair. Yunho took you to this newly opened carnival by the pier and was doing a pretty good job cheering you up. Unfortunately, before you two could leave for the pier, Yunho called over his younger brother and asked him to take Io. Which is a shame because you’re currently imagining Io running around and dragging Yunho along with him. Come to think of it, Yunho somewhat looks like Io. Well, not in-- it’s hard to explain but they do somewhat resemble each other. 

“Y/n, look.” Yunho drags you to a nearby stall and you notice the bunch of stuffed animals lined along the shelf. Your eyes land on a specific plush that sat menacingly beside the other cute ones. It was a blue horned ram with a yellow and violet striped jester shirt. But what caught your eyes the most was it’s bright white face, large red nose and lips, resembling a clown. _Pietro, we meet again_. You remember that face from that one game you have about crossing animals and you always saw yourself in Pietro, which made you hold him closer to your heart. Yunho notices your lingering stare on the weird toy and laughs while he pays to play. With a ball in his hand, the tall male rolls back the sleeve of his hoodie and aims for the pyramid of stacked cans at the back of the stall. However, before he could fire at the target, you placed a hand on his bicep (which felt firm, wow) and whispered to him about how games like these were rigged. “Y/n, chill.” A smug expression settles on his handsome features and you can’t help but laugh. But that laugh was cut short when you hear the clinking and clanking of the cans as you watch them topple over. 

“You might not know this, but I’m a bit of an athlete myself.” The blue haired man poses in front of you but your attention was on the elderly man handling the stall, pointing at the stuffed Pietro on the shelf. Of course, when you turn to Yunho with a wide smile you’re met with a pout. “Stop pouting!” You laugh and grab his hand, the action making his face heat up and his heart skip a beat. You two skipped over to the loud and bright merry-go-round in the middle of the funfair. Yunho, with the advantage of his height and strength, picked you up and set you onto one of the horses. “Mister,” a small voice calls out from behind the blue haired male, “aren’t you too old for something like this?” A little boy, around the age of six tugs on Yunho’s pants and the two of you couldn’t help but coo. 

The little boy ended up on the horse you were on, your arms holding him by the waist while Yunho introduces himself to the boy’s mother. Not even a minute later, the tall man returns with a wide smile, and nods to the little boy in your arms. “Your mom said you can play with us for a while, Cheol.” The little six year old exclaims in excitement and giggles when the operator starts the ride and the lights start flickering along with the bright circus music that begins to play. Yunho stays off the horse and by your side, silently watching you and Cheol giggle as your fingers tickle his sides. Unknowingly, a small smile settles on Yunho’s lips and his eyes soften at the sight. Cheol carefully leans up to your ears and whispers something that Yunho can’t seem to catch. You gasp and shake your head, your cheeks set aflame and the kid in front of you lets out a mischievous giggle before turning to the blue haired man beside you. Before the dark haired child could let out a single word, you engulf him into a hug and wave Yunho off.

When the ride comes to a stop, Cheol holds his arms out to Yunho, asking to be carried back to his mother. You watch as the child clings onto the blue haired man’s arms and giggles about whatever lame joke Yunho tells him. You swear you saw a cheeky smile appear on Cheol’s face when you two make eye contact for a split second and he leans into Yunho’s ear and whispers something that makes him flinch and poke the kid’s side. “Did you have fun, Cheol?” the little boy’s mum asks as she takes him into her arms. “Yes, mama. Yunho and Y/n are funny people.” The woman looks (or tries to) over Yunho’s shoulder and watches you as you struggle to jump off the polished horse, “That girl over there?”. Cheol nods with a wide smile, “Y/n likes Yunho.” His mother smiles at Yunho who reddens at her remark, “Of course she does. Who wouldn’t like their own boyfriend.” Before the tall male could protest, the mother and son duo were already walking away from him.

The two of you take a short snack break when you spot a small churro stall by the edge of the pier. “By the way,” you say after swallowing a mouthful of churro, “what did Cheol’s mum tell you?” The man in front of you freezes momentarily before shaking his head, “Nothing important.” You squint and point your chocolate filled dessert at his face, “It didn’t look like nothing.” Yunho sat for a while, contemplating his choices; he could either, 1. Tell you the truth which might lead to 1. a.) it becomes awkward between the two of you because you don't see him in that light, or 1. b.) he throws in an additional confession to you and he gets rejected and your friendship will be over in a matter of seconds. Or he could just not tell you. Now, Yunho is a simple man, so he chooses the latter; biting into your pointed churro to change the topic. And change the topic it does.

“Yunho!” You squeal and pull your hand away, “I bought you one for a reason!” The man just smiles at you with chocolate stuck on the front of his teeth. “Disgusting.” you laugh and throw a bunched up tissue at his face. As of now, all thoughts of Yeosang have been thrown out of your mind. And Yunho’s glad to see that, he hated seeing you so down in the dumps, he had to make you feel better. “It’s getting dark.” You comment while taking one last bite of your churro, Yunho nods in agreement and takes a long sip from his cola before getting up and grabbing your hand once again. You didn’t know where he was taking you but if you had to guess, you’d say the ferris wheel. And you were right. “You cliché bitch.” You punch Yunho’s shoulder while you wait in line to get into the ride, “What’d you expect? I’m a sappy boy.” His bright eyes reflect the lights of the ride and they glimmer when they gaze into yours. 

Yunho’s eyes resembled gems, they were so shiny and deep and clear. You could see all of his emotions expressed in his eyes. They were just absolutely stunning. No diamond could ever replicate the beauty held within Yunho’s deep cognac eyes. Especially now, with the ferris wheel turned and lifted you both up into the air and the sunset reflecting in his eyes. The golden specks that flickered in his irises held you hostage. They kept you confined in an enchanted daze. “The sunset looks beautiful.” _Sunset? What sunset?_ Oh right, the sunset reflected in Yunho’s eyes. Why should you look directly at the sunset when the view in Yunho’s eyes were just fine? Yunho felt something settle on top of his hand and he wasn’t stupid, he knows it was your hand. It felt warm and soft against his skin, he could get lost in the feeling of your skin against his, he wanted to hold your hand forever. Because it just felt so right, your small hand fit perfectly into his significantly larger ones. He would be satisfied if he could stay like this with you until the end of time, and to be honest, you wouldn’t mind.

_-_

_You have me wrapped around your finger, and I hope you know that._

Your heart was soaring, from both that little scene in the ferris wheel cart and right now. Your hand encased in Yunho’s as he walks you home, because ‘he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if he let a young lady walk in the dark all by herself’, those were his words. “I had fun today.” You broke the silence first with a shy smile on your face. Yunho’s grip on your hand tightens and he lets out a small chuckle. “I’m glad.” The tall man turns his head to the right and he bites his lip, ruminating over his next move. ‘Ah, what the fuck’ he cried in his mind and briefly pulled his hand away. But that short loss of contact sent you into panic mode. Did he not want to hold hands? Were your hands sweaty? _That’s disgusting, y/n_. Luckily, Yunho slotted his hand back into yours before you could ask him. His fingers intertwined with yours and he softly tugs you closer to his side. 

You felt his thumb caress your skin and the simple action sent a shiver down your spine and your cheeks aflame. Things remain quiet as you two make your way back home, but it was a comforting kind of silence, one that doesn’t require a conversation; just the two of you enjoying each other’s company. “We’re here.” You stop in front of your house but keep your hand connected with Yunho’s. Neither of you move to let go of each other, even when you reach your porch. You slowly walk up two steps and turn back to Yunho to look him straight in the eyes. “Thank you for today, Yunho. I mean it.” He was so close, you could see his eyes clearly and the soft tint on his cheeks. You weren’t sure where you got the sudden burst of confidence, but it was there. And it pushed you to lean closer into Yunho.

Your eyes flicker down to his lips with yours barely ghosting over them. You could feel his breath on your lips and all it takes now is just for one of you to close the gap. The tiny gap that keeps your lips apart. _What the heck_ , you took your chance and carefully leaned into Yunho. Your lips meeting in an instant. They were soft, and plump, just as you expected. What you didn’t expect though, was for Yunho to kiss you back. His eyes fluttered shut and he tilts his head a little bit to the right. His hand softly lets go of yours and finds themselves on your waist while yours find purchase on his shoulders. His lips felt so right against your, so soft and plush. Yunho’s lips parted slightly and he nibbled softly on your lower lip before eventually pulling away, a deep blush ran down from his ears to his neck.

You were too caught up in his gaze that you didn’t hear the sound of a skateboard dashing down the street.

_I thought… we were fine though? Did I do something to insult you? Did I scare you?_

Yunho seemed a little giddy today, and Chloé noticed. The blue haired male was smiling more and there was a permanent blush settled on his cheeks, but the petite girl didn’t like it one bit. If it wasn’t because of her then she’s gonna have to get rid of it. The blonde knew about you and Yunho going places and doing things. She’s been pretty suspicious of you, since the day you came in and ordered a tiramisu. So when her break started, Chloé began her master plan. “Yuyu~” she calls, “can I borrow your phone? I need to text my brother and I left my phone at home.” Yunho’s confused, he was pretty sure he saw her fiddling with her phone earlier today. Maybe he was just delusional, besides, that’s not important. He was looking forward to seeing you today, he has been practicing all night on how he was going to finally ask you out. His nerves were all over the place and he couldn’t stop glancing at the clock. 

While he was stressing out, Chloé sat in the staff lounge with Yunho’s phone in her hands. A malicious smirk washes over her sharp feature as she taps onto your contact and pressing on the ‘block’ option. And now all she needs to do is to wait for the drama to unfold. In the meantime, she hands Yunho back his phone and heads out to take her break. The blue haired man stands there, confused as to why and how she took so quickly; but as mentioned earlier, it was irrelevant. Yunho’s eyes drifted back to the clock and he saw that it’s nowhere near 3 PM, making him sigh. “Yunho!” Their manager suddenly called out for the aqua haired male, “You wouldn’t mind if I switch your shifts with Seokjun’s, right? Only for a couple days” 

“Of course not, sir. What time is his shift?” “1 to 2 PM, he clocks out right before you get in. It’s not a major shift so you should be good.” Yunho nods at the older male and asks when they’ll start. “Right now, you come back tomorrow, kid.” The man pats Yunho at the back and gestures him into the staff lounge, compelling him to leave and enjoy the rest of his day.

-

You’ve been trying to contact Yunho for a while now, but your calls never seem to reach him. Did something happen? No matter, you could ask him when you get to the café. Which reminds you about the gift you have for him and Io. You’ve been working on it for a couple weeks now and you couldn’t wait to show it to him. It was a sketch of him and Io, you found the picture lying in your camera roll and so you thought, _why not?_ , and got to work. Of course it was quite a ride making this, you spent countless nights reconsidering your mental state after having poured your heart out to a drawing of the upper half of Yunho’s face.

“Where’s Yunho?” when you came into the café today, you weren’t met with Io’s loud barking or Yunho’s warm smile. Confusion settled into your features and you looked around, not seeing any traces of Io’s golden fur. You walked over to the counter and asked the first person you saw, Chloé, who was handling the cash register. At first, Chloé thought that she should respond nicely and tell you that he was out, but where’s the fun in that? Instead, she scowls at you and spits out, “He shifted shifts with someone else, because he was tired of seeing your face.” You were taken aback, how dare she speak to you that way. You were about to retort but then you’re reminded that this was a dog café, and the animals would respond differently when it came to human fights. “No need to be so mean.” Chloé just raises a brow at you and snickers, “Oh I wasn’t being mean darling, those were his words.” You were so close to slapping this bitch, she was getting on your nerves. “Listen, I didn’t come here to fight, I came here to see Yunho.” you try one more time. “But Yunho ain’t here to see you.” 

A groan escapes your lips and you run a hand through your hair. “Fine then, can you just give him something for me?” You pull out your sketchbook and open to the page of your drawing. “Y/n, sweetie. Don’t you get it? Yunho wants nothing to do with you.” The blonde twirls a lock of her hair around her fingers and scoffs. “Neither do I. Buh-bye now.” _Wow, she’s definitely getting a good review from you_. No matter how much you wanted to protest and start beating her ass, you held yourself back and left peacefully. You’ll let Yunho know when you see him.

_-_

_Where are you?_

It’s been nearly a week and you still haven’t seen Yunho. You call him and your texts just weren’t going through. And as each day passes, you’re starting to believe what Chloé was saying, but just a tiny bit. You know Yunho, and he would never do this to you. You saw it in his eyes, the emotions he held in them. And the kiss. Don’t tell me he just forgot about the kiss? That meant something and you know it. You’re as important to him as he is to you. So where was he? Why wasn’t he answering your calls? Why wasn’t he replying to your texts? Why isn’t he calling you? 

You were going mad, it has been so long since you’ve seen Yunho or heard his voice. The frustration building up in your guts just want to be let out. Especially now that Yeosang stopped talking to you. If Yunho was with you, he would have distracted you with another date or just his presence to calm you down. The aggravation build up made you so much more irritable, every little thing seemed to bother you. You need a hug, whether it be from Yunho or Yeosang, you just need someone to confide in. You were so stupid for letting Yeosang go and for not keeping a tight enough hold on Yunho. Now here you are, pathetically sat under a tree in the campus field, with your knees hugged to your chest. 

It hurt, not having anyone beside you. Your heart was this close to bursting and you had no one to pour it out on. _Stupid bitch. Stupid Chloé, stupid Yunho, stupid Yeosang_. You cursed in your mind, not realizing the tears that managed to escape your eyes. Your fingers wove into your hair and you started sobbing into your knees. “I hate this.” you murmur to yourself lowly, not like anyone would find you at this hour but there’s no harm in keeping quiet. You thought no one would find you, but when something rolled by your feet and thud against your shin, you were made aware of the other person within the area.

“You’re ugly when you cry.” Yeosang sneers at you but plops himself down on your side. “Say it.” You sniffle, knowing that he has been waiting for weeks now just to brag in your face and chant out ‘I told you so’, and laugh at your stupidity. “Sure.” your best friend clears his throat and straightens his back, you cave into yourself, preparing to hear the words you dreaded to hear. 

“I missed you.”

And that’s how you ended up sobbing in Yeosang’s arms under the warm 3PM sun, shaded by the large oak tree in your campus field.

_I don’t know where to address this letter to, because I don’t know where you are. What am I gonna do with this? I guess I’ll address this to the caf_ _é, it was where I met you and the last place I saw you._

Yunho’s been looking drained lately and Chloé noticed. “Yuyu~ What’s wrong?” The blonde leans over the counter, joyed at the fact that Yunho got his normal shift back. “My calls haven’t been reaching y/n.” The blonde glowers and crosses her arms over her chest, “What’s so important about her anyway, I’m way better than her.” Yunho slowly turns to the smaller figure behind him, a dangerous look on his face. “Chloé, what did you do to y/n?” The said girl breaks out in cold sweat and takes a step back. “N-nothing. I promise, Yuyu.” The look on Yunho’s eyes are sinister and impossibly dark, seemingly ready to kill. “Y/n? Is she that girl who used to come here? The one with the velvet messenger bag?” Yunho turns to look at Seokjun who was getting ready to leave and nods. 

“Yeah I used to see her a lot, before she suddenly stopped coming here.” The male completely ignores Chloé’s gestures to shut up and continues his report. “I think I heard Chloé tell her about you blocking her number and then telling her to leave the café.” The blonde girl swears under her breath and places a hand on Yunho’s arm. “Yuyu, it’s not like that, Seokjun’s just--” Her hand was suddenly shoved off his arms and Yunho whipped behind him, slamming a fist onto the countertop. “Don’t talk to me ever again.” He storms off into the lounge and grabs his phone. Hurriedly opening contacts and checking the blocked list, he didn’t know why he didn’t check sooner. And there your number sat, at the top of his blocked list, but it was soon replaced by Chloé’s contact.

Your phone vibrated on the grass, screen flashing Yunho’s contact and his set image. Yeosang rolls his eyes but picks up the call, because he wasn’t that big of a dick. “What?” pressing the phone to his ear, he hears Yunho’s small yelp of surprise. “Yeosang?” “Yes it’s me, we’re friends again, whoopee. What do you want?” Yunho stutters from the other side of the line and asks about you. “She’s sleeping right now.” Yeosang’s eyes scan over your peaceful features, this is probably the most peaceful you’ve been. “She tired herself out from crying, turns out she was holding bottling up a lot of things.” Yunho covers his face with his large palm and holds back a sob, this was all his fault. Why was he so stupid? Why is he always making you cry? “Where were you man?” The brunette calls into the phone after a minute of listening to Yunho’s painful attempts of holding back his tears. “I was looking for her. I was trying.” 

Yunho stopped forbearing his cries and decided to just let the tears out. “I’m sorry.” He hunches over his knees and pulls his phone away from his tear stained face. “Yunho, I don’t like you.” Yeosang pauses when he sees you stir lightly, “But y/n does, you’re a good person.” “Not good enough apparently.” Yunho bites his lip, trying to regain his breathing. “She deserves so much more than me. I hurt her too much. Tell her I’m sorry.” Yeosang wants to scream right now, how could someone be so stupid? “Wouldn’t it be better to tell her yourself?” The male chuckles bitterly from the other end of the line. “On second thought, don’t tell her. Just help her forget about me.” The line goes silent before the taller male hangs up.

Yeosang sighs and leans his head back onto the tree trunk behind him. “How can I when you’re her first kiss?”

_Even until now, everything in the colour of aqua reminds me of you. Your laugh, your smile, your eyes. I hope you like my drawing._

_Blue will always be yours,_

_Io’s mama, y/n_

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can be found on my tumbler (@ talkbykhalid) and my wp (@ bIushers)


	6. to: song mingi.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your tall, smart, and handsome math tutor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey am back ((: more than a month later. okAy im so sorry for this very late update and still the same half cooked dish :D

To: Song Mingi

_ I think we all know this, and I’m not sure why I’m stating this again, but… I’m stupid.  _

“Well?” Your grandma stood with her hands on her waist, eyes looking at you expectantly. You twist your lips and avoid her hard eyes, your hands shrugging with your shoulders. “I don’t know what to tell you…” This earned you a slipper to the face and, if it wasn’t for Lei holding her back, a strangling from the enderly woman. “What do you mean?! You got seventy-one percent on abstract algebra!” She yells at you, Lei holding her waist tightly, but you sat still on your bed with the same expression. “It is what it is.” San, from behind the two women, slaps his palms onto his face and sobs, “Why are you like this?”. 

It’s not your fault you hated algebra with a burning passion, the damn thing’s practically out to get you murdered. In your opinion though, seventy-one wasn’t  _ that  _ bad a grade…  _ was it?  _ You were pretty sure that seventy percent was at least a passing grade. But damn that old hag and her old school asian mentality. The need to have her children (grandchildren in this case) in tiptop shape with straight As ran strong in her blood. 

“That’s not the worst I’ve gotten.” You murmur with a pout. “What was that?” Your grandmother hisses your full name under her breath and moves to charge at you. San hurriedly grasps her arms and tugs her back, the elderly woman visibly struggles but holds her arms out at you in a choking gesture. You chuckle nervously and run your eyes through the room, looking for a possible escape route. The door?  _ Fuck no, idiot. If I get even the slightest bit closer to her she will rip my head off.  _ You look over to your closet,  _ no she’ll wait me out.  _ Which left you with no other choice but the  _ window.  _ You scramble to your feet and push open your casement windows and crawl out. You clearly hear San’s loud protest and your family’s startled cries, but fuck them; it’s fight or flight and you’re obviously about to fly right now.

“Jesus fuck, y/n!”  _ Oh would you look at that _ , Seonghwa just so happened to be passing by and he rushes into your lawn, eyes filled with worry. “Catch me, Seonghwa!” you screech before immediately jumping down without waiting for a response. The dirty blond caterwauls a curse and puts his arms out in panic, barely catching your falling body. Luckily, you landed in his arms before the male tumbles down onto the grass. “Thanks buddy.” you pat his chest and hop off his lap, making a run for Yeosang’s place. 

It’s been quite a while since your (not so) petty little argument with Yeosang and neither of you brought it up yet. Not only were you too much of a pussy to do so, you were also quite sure that Yeosang would rather not talk about it. I mean you two wordlessly reconciled and that’s good for you, but shouldn’t you at least talk about it? Considering that you have terrible initiative, you decided to wait it out and address it when the time comes. Right now your biggest concern was escaping your grandmother’s wrath. The soles of your sneakers padded along the asphalt as you ran street to street in search of the Kang’s familiar household.

“Oh, y/n!” Yeosang’s sister opened the door to the sight of you grasping your knees, gasping for air. “What brings you here?” She rests a hand on her hip and observes you with mildly worried eyes. When she gets no response, the older female shifts her body and gestures you to enter, “Yeosang’s in his room.” You pant out a quick ‘thank you’ before trudging inside, toeing your shoes off by the door and greeting the family inside. You grasp the brass doorknob of Yeosang’s bedroom door firmly and twist it with such vigor that you could almost hear its pained cries. There Yeosang sat on his bed, his dark hair pulled back by a fluffy pink headband with a little purple bow in the middle and his face covered by a translucent facial sheet. The room vaguely smelled of blueberries, and you’re pretty sure it came from the facial mask package that was decorated with tiny blueberries.

“Ooh, blueberries? Where’d you get that one?” You skip into his room, no sign of your previous struggles, and plop down beside him. “My sister brought it from Seoul.” He murmurs, shoving a potato chip into his mouth and scrolling past a picture of Emma Watson before immediately going back to tap on the heart button. You reach into the green bag of Lay’s chips and grab a handful to shovel into your mouth. “Bitch, get your own chips.” Yeosang playfully smacks your hand and snatches the bag from your reach. “Greedy dick.” You pout and cross your arms, using your sock clad foot to boot at his shin, earning you a small grunt of pain from the male. He scowls at you and tosses the bag at your face, making you smile in victory. 

“So what happened this time?” Yeosang asks when you settle by his side, leaning back on his plush pillows with the bag of chips in your hands and a thin sheet mask on your face. “Well so you know how I have algebra this semester right?” The brunet cringes, already knowing where the conversation was going. “Yeah, mama somehow got her hands on one of my recent papers--” “The one that got a seventy?” He interrupts you, finally putting his phone down and looking at you with wide eyes. “Seventy- _ one _ , I’m not  _ that _ stupid.” You throw him a scowl and roll your eyes, “Anyway, she saw that and now I’m running away. I’ve decided to leave all my stuff and bring my phone only. I’m here to spend my last day as y/n with you. I don’t know when we’ll meet again, but don’t forget me.” You feign a look of melancholy and pretend to wipe your tears. 

Yeosang sighs, not really surprised at the act you were currently putting up. “Now, imagine if your grandma found your sixty-eight instead of that.” Your eyes widen in horror and in your mind flashes small sequences of a crime scene; yellow warning tape wrapped around your yard, your blood tainting your bedroom carpet and your grandma crawling on the ceiling with your last paper between her teeth, wow what a sight. “Oh god, please no.” You whimper and a shiver runs up your spine, “I burned that paper ages ago.” Your best friend chuckles, recalling the time when you were so scared of your grandmother’s wrath that you spent the entire afternoon under his bed, thinking of ways on how to get rid of that cursed paper. 

“Aren’t you tired of running away from your grandmother?” Yeosang speaks up before popping a few chips into his mouth, raising a brow at you. “It’s fine.” You tell him, but it sounded more like you were reassuring yourself, “It’s just one semester, I can survive that.” Admittedly, you were never the best when it came to math, so when ‘abstract algebra’ popped up in your schedule, you knew you were fucked.  _ But, it’s just one semester, how bad can it be?  _ “What do you mean just one semester? Bitch, don’t tell me that you think your college life will just end after one year.” He leans on his headboard, staring at you with a raised brow. “Well, yeah but…”

“But what?”

You fiddle with your fingers and look away from your best friend’s eyes, your tongue poking at your cheek. After a few moments of your silence, the brunet lets out a chuckle and hops off the bed, his feet padding along the carpet as he makes his way to his bathroom. “In your case, I suggest you get a tutor.” He proposes when he stands in front of the bathroom sink and peels the mask off his face; with the use of his fingers, he gently massages the remaining oils from the facial mask and turns to you, “It’s totally normal to get tutors.” You pout at his words and sprawl out on his empty bed, knocking the empty bag of chips onto the floor. “But, I have an image to keep up.” Yeosang laughs, he lets out a loud taunting laugh that leaves you wondering where you should hide his corpse after strangling him to death.

“I’m sorry, but what’s so funny?” You raise an offended brow at him. “Literally no one would be surprised if you got a math tutor, y/n.” Yeosang’s boisterous laughter dies down into a series of mini chuckles, which you admit through your rage and offense, were pretty cute. “In fact, everyone’s begging you to get one.” He returns to the bed, face fresh and hair shaggy due to the headband he just recently tugged off. God, never have you ever wanted to rip someone’s face off so bad. You clench your fists, your nails digging into your palms and a tight smile on your lips. “Excuse me?”  _ Were you really that stupid?  _

“No offense, babe. But everyone can see you struggling.” Your cheeks flare when he slips out the humiliating words. “You’re an ass, you know that right?” you scowl and shove him off the bed, or you try to “You remind me everyday.” He sends you a flying kiss, momentarily directing your attention away from his scheming hands, and pushes you off his mattress and onto the carpet. You stay on the floor, your lips pressed into an angry pout. You weren’t  _ that _ stupid, you were pretty sure you could survive this semester without getting a tutor. You’re hell bent on proving everyone that, tutor or no, you were going to at least pass this class.

* * *

_ And I’m really thankful you entered my life, and I’m pretty sure my grandma’s thankful for that too. _

Remember that time in Yeosang’s room when you swore to yourself that you would get through this all by yourself? Good times. You recalled while you fiddled with your fingers and silently waited for the dark haired boy to answer you. “Tutor?” Song Mingi looks up at you with his small dark eyes, his mind slowly processing your words. Mingi was this boy you had algebra with and he was honestly stunning. He stood to be six feet tall but dressed like a jock’s 4’11” girlfriend, complete with oversized sweaters and ripped jeans. He had a face sculpted by gods; his nose tall and his cheekbones high, his eyes were more on the smaller side but they added to the overall appeal of his smile. Not only was he one fine guy, he had a sexy brain too. So far you’ve noticed that Mingi got extremely high grades and rarely struggled with the class. Imagine being so perfect.

Which brings us back to your current disposition. After class you went up to the dark haired male while he was stuffing his binders into his bulky saddleback satchel, catching his attention and making him halt his actions. “Yeah, if you have time that is.” You anxiously bite your lip and study Mingi’s hesitant eyes. The male lets out a diffident chuckle and rubs at the nape of his neck, he avoids your eyes and hides behind the round frames of his glasses. “Why me, though?” You raise a brow at him, does he not know that he’s like the smartest one in the room? “What do you mean?” 

“I mean, why not Ashley?” He nods at the direction of a brunette who smiles widely at her shorter, dark haired friend. You can faintly hear her little giggles while linking arms with her companion and giggling about ‘that stupid thing Jinsoul did’. She was known for her astounding mathematical skills along with Mingi and this other guy Seongjun, who liked to hang around with a bunch of high school students after class. “She seems to be busy.” You push, watching as Mingi sucks a breath between his teeth and continues to avoid your gaze. “I don’t know…” He slowly gets up from his seat and finally looks in the eye with an apologetic smile on his lips, “I’ll think about it.” He slings his bag over his shoulder and slips away from the conversation and lowkey tries to run out the room. 

You weren’t standing with this bullshit. To you, an ‘I’ll think about it’ is equivalent to the ‘I’ll come back for this’ you tell the sales lady after taking interest in an overpriced item. You never make it back until weeks later when the lady ultimately forgets your exchange. With your experience in mind, you grab your shoulder bag and stomp out the room, shoving away whoever crossed your path. The hallways weren’t that crowded but they weren’t empty either, so you had no idea where Mingi was. But looking for the man was an easy task; he was a lamp post, to say the least. His head of chocolate brown locks always rose above the majority of the people in the halls. So spotting him wouldn’t take long— there he is! Walking down the white hallways with a wireless pair of beats around his neck, Mingi scrolls through his playlist, in search of a song to start off his afternoon. 

“Hey! Song Mingi!”

The poor boy nearly jumps out of his skin at the sudden call of his name. He hears your quickened footsteps coming his way, and being the coward he is, he sprints away without turning to look at you. “Mingi, wait!” You pick up the pace and chase after the now running man down the hallway and out to the campus field. It was hard, for the brunet obviously had the upper hand with his legs that go on forever. 

With his satchel clutched to his chest, Mingi makes a clumsy turn around the corner in hopes of losing you. But, damn were you persistent. Mingi’s breathing started to become laboured when he made his third turn around the same corner, he turned his to look behind his shoulder and you were still hot on his trail. Your hair whipping in your face and your breath shallow, but you’re not giving up, you needed to pass this class. 

“Why are you running?!” You scream at the top of your lungs.

“Why are you chasing me?!” Mingi yells over his shoulder, glasses hanging dangerously low on the bridge of his nose.

“I’m not chasing you!” 

“Yes you are!” 

Before you could deny his accusations, your right leg decided to ultimately shut down, making you tumble down onto the grassy field. The tall man notices and skids to a stop, “Oh shit, are you okay?” He jogs to your form, face flat on the ground and hair sprawled out around you. With a guilty and apologetic look on his face, Mingi gently grabs your torso and pulls you up to a sitting position on the ground. You bring a hand up to rub at your sore nose and you look up at Mingi expectantly, “Well?” The said man tilts his head to the right, not sure what you mean, “Well what?” 

“A sorry would be nice.” you puff out your cheeks while Mingi scoffs incredulously. “Why should I be the one apologizing?” 

“Well, you made me fall.” You say as a matter of fact.

“Which wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t start running after me.” 

“Actually I…” You cut yourself off realizing you had nothing to rebut, leaving your mouth hanging open and your eyes drifting away from the brunet’s gaze. “You?” Mingi taunts, knowing fully well that he has won this argument. You shut your lips and scowl at the tall bespectacled man crouching in front of you. There was a faint stinging on your forehead right in between your eyebrows and pressing the area with your fingers, making you hiss softly at the irritation. Mingi leans his face closer and inspects the small scratch on your forehead, “You’re bleeding.”

“And it’s your fault.” You beam up at him, “Now you  _ have _ to tutor me!”

Mingi doesn’t understand how your mind functioned, because any sane/normal person would tend to their bleeding forehead immediately but you just sat there like a masochist smiling about the scratch in between your brows. He looks at you in disbelief and lets out a tiny scoff, ultimately giving into your plans. “Alright, whatever.” You bounce up on your feet and squeal in joy, “Yay! Thank you so much, Mingi!” 

Oh poor boy, he doesn’t know what he just signed up for. He should have even the slightest grasp of how much of a mess you were, especially when you just ran away without discussing a schedule, a venue or even just offering your number. And more so when he sees you coming back a few seconds later to ask for his number. “I’ll text you later and we’ll work things out?” You raise a brow in anticipation and slowly start to walk backwards before smiling and turning back when the tall boy in front of you gives a small nod.

* * *

_ You’re so patient with me, like I don’t even know how you put up with me. _

“That’s wrong, y/n.”

Mingi points at number twelve on the makeshift worksheet he made on a page he ripped out of your notebook. You two chose to hold your first lesson in the library, you know like all the clichés, and planned your next few sessions at his place. Your eyebrows pulled together in confusion at his words. “Wrong? No, Mingi, it’s right.” you argue, you for sure checked the calculator twice each time you answered a question. 

“No it’s wrong, see?” He points at the bunch of numbers you have written on the lines, crossing out the nine and writing an eight above it. Your brows furrow deeper and you lean back onto the back of the wooden chair, not really understanding why and how he got nine. “It’s obviously right! It’s in the calculator!” You scowl and nearly yell, but being reminded of your location, you lowered your volume.

“Nope still wrong.”

“Wrong?! Mingi, this is hate crime.”

The tall male was taken aback, “The fuck?” He huffs and grabs a notebook of his own, scribbling down the part you forgot and proceeds to write down the entire sentence, proving you wrong. “See, you forgot this part.” He leans over your shoulder and grabs the pen out of your fingers, carefully guiding you through the proper way to solve the problem in that low voice of his.

With his breath falling onto the back of your neck and his voice vibrating in your ears, you could feel yourself slowly lose focus while your cheeks started to gain a little heat.  _ Damn, his voice was kinda hot--  _ you immediately shook yourself internally, snapping yourself out of it. You will not go after your tutor, you’d rather be found dead in a ditch than fall for another temporary man in your life. You’ve been through so many heartbreaks, you don’t need another one any time soon.

“Do you get it now?”  _ Oh shit, I wasn’t paying attention.  _ Mingi looks back at you with expectant eyes glimmering behind his spectacles. You, being the complete high pride woman you are, nodded and let out a cocky scoff. “Boy, do I.” You fake a smirk onto your lips and snatch the pen out of Mingi’s grasp, pulling the notebook back in front of you. The tip hovered over the paper while you pretended to think of an answer, “Hmm so if I take eleven…” you hum to yourself, not realizing that there was no eleven written anywhere in the paper. The tall male beside you eyes you, dumbfounded. Before giving up and letting the wide adoring smile stretch on his thick lips. Of course you didn’t notice because you were too busy trying to cover up your idiocy. 

After a few more minutes of watching you pathetically scribble all over the sheet, Mingi finally decides to butt in. “Alright.” He clears his throat and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, “Let’s call it a day, shall we?” He gives you one of his gummy smiles, looking absolutely adorable as his thin golden frames glimmer in the afternoon sun from the library windows. 

Your bag drags on the wooden table as you gather your things and messily shoving them into your bag, tossing it over your shoulder and trailing behind Mingi as he walks to the door; holding it open for you. “So same time tomorrow?” You inquire amidst the calming sounds of your shoes tapping against the tiled floors, looking up at the tall brunet. “Sure thing.” He offers you a small smile, “I’ll just text you my address.” A mildly awkward silence settles between you two as you make your way out of the building; fortunately, it doesn’t last long for Mingi’s phone starts vibrating in his pocket, catching both your attention. The said male fishes the rectangular device from his pocket and presses it to his ear. “Hey, Ho.” His voice low but bright when he addresses the person on the other side. You could make out a muffled ‘you’re late’ from the caller, despite the loud bass surrounding his voice. Mingi’s sharp features slowly morph into one of realization and he pulls his sleeve up to check the gold watch around his wrist. 

“Oh, shit!” He hisses and shoves his still on call phone onto his pocket, the distorted voice seemingly calling his name from the device. “I gotta go, y/n. I’ll see you again tomorrow, okay?” And, without waiting for your response, he hurriedly runs back the way you came from, his sneakers squeaking against the floor. Your eyes follow his running form, watching as his figure becomes smaller before he turns the corner (stumbling over his own feet but you reckon he would rather you not mention it). 

“Where were you.” You came home to a pouting Yeosang on your bedroom floor, not really expecting to find him there on this day. “I thought you were out with your eboy friends? Skating like the bunch of losers you are.” You tease, dropping your bag onto the floor and jumping onto your bed while your best friend scoffs. “They’re not eboys, y/n.”

You chuckle, “Oh, right. There’s only one eboy in this town, I forgot. Forgive me, your eboyness.” A throw pillow comes in contact with your face, courtesy of Yeosang who offers you a fake chuckle. “You didn’t answer my question.” You roll your eyes, “Studying.” Yeosang’s sudden laughter rips through the air and the boy throws himself onto the carpet, his eyes watery and stomach aching. The regret runs through your veins as you pick at your teeth with your tongue, you knew he would react this way, yet you still told him. So who was really at fault here? “Wait, say it again? I don’t think I heard you right.” the brunet manages between small chuckles when his cackling simmers down. “I said what I said.” And commence another lot of Yeosang’s boisterous laughter. 

“You’re shitting me.” He says after his laughter finally dies down completely.You shake your head, walking out of your closet dressed in a comfortable graphic shirt and some bike shorts. In the span of Yeosang’s prolonged laughter, you managed to put away your bag and change out of your clothes all the while listening to his annoying haha-ing. “No I’m serious, I have to pass this semester, remember?” The brunet remains unconvinced, because there’s definitely no way you could focus long enough on anything involving numbers. “There’s no way.” He sits up, clutching the fading ache in the core of his stomach. “I got myself a tutor, okay. Just like you said.” You huff to an incredulous Yeosang, who then asks the identity of this tutor. 

“Mingi, Song Mingi.” 

Now Yeosang’s so far from believing you. You never could have lured Mingi into your trap, he was too smart for that. Even if you did manage to do that, he gives you two days before you get sick of it or Mingi runs away from you. It’s just so far fetched that you actually listened to his advice and acted on it quickly. He had to admit, he was somewhat proud of you. Maybe this was a new beginning for you. But then again Yeosang knows you like the back of his hand, knows that there’s no way you could have changed in such a short amount of time. So he gives you two days, tops.

* * *

‘Hmm, this isn’t right.’ Yeosang thought to himself, it’s been a little over a week since you started your little study sessions with Mingi and you were nowhere near breaking down. You found yourself struggling less and less. Which earned you praise from your friends and family and that’s great and all, but it doesn’t make sense to Yeosang. He was sure that you would end up whining on the second day and he would have to try to motivate you before throwing the topic away and cuddle up in each other’s arms while a movie played on your tv. It became apparent to him that you were actually pushing through with your plans when he reaches your house and finds you missing, again. 

“Y/n’s still taking lessons?” He asks San who just came out of the kitchen, a can of sprite in his hand. The blond male nods and hops onto the couch beside his girlfriend, slinging an arm over her shoulder. The said girlfriend scrolls through her phone nonchalantly and snuggles into San’s presence, which made Yeosang a tad bit bitter, just a bit. The brunet rolls his eyes playfully (or that’s what he made it look like) and runs up the stairs into your room to wait for you like a little puppy. 

“Y/n’s been working a hard lately, don’t you think?” San sips at his fizzy drink, Lei still not taking her attention from her screen. “She’s probably sucking that guy’s dick right now.” She comments under her breath, scrolling through twitter like what she said was completely normal. The blond male pulls back, startled by her words. At his silence, Lei turns to San with innocent eyes, “Is something the matter?” San couldn’t believe what she just said, about her own sister no less! Lei realizes her slip up and hurriedly shakes her head, facing her phone screen to her blond boyfriend. “I was talking about this girl!” She points at a tweet in the middle of her screen that read: ‘Maybe this time? #First_Date #Maybe_Soulmate’

San lets it slip from his mind, still not completely convinced but he lets it go anyway. “I was talking about, y/n. She’s been studying hard.” Lei smiles, one that doesn’t quite reach her eyes and nods along to his words, “Yeah…”. The blond notices the less than cheery tone in her voice and immediately comforts her. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” 

Lei hesitates for a moment, slowly lowering her phone onto her lap and looking up at San with puppy eyes. “It’s just that…”, she nibbles on her lower lip and picks at her cuticles. “Hmm? You can tell me anything, babe.” The older contemplates her decisions, it’s either she stays quiet and keeps the peace in their relationship or she tells him what’s been bothering her for a while now. She thinks about how her words might make San rethink everything about her. But he was her boyfriend, and his job is to comfort and accept her no matter what. And right now, she needs to somehow let off some steam, the feelings she’d pent up were this close to exploding. Lei takes her time scanning the room, taking note of the lack of other people. It’s best she expresses this now while no one else was in the room, especially now that you were gone.

“I’ve been thinking…” She starts, catching San’s attention and his heart speeds up. Is she breaking up with him? Why so sudden? Did he do anything wrong? He doesn’t think so? Or maybe something he hasn’t noticed? His mind was sent to a haze with just three simple words. The anxiety that settled in his veins made his palms clammy and temples sweat. “I don’t think it’s fair.” Lei’s shoulders sink and she pouts up at her boyfriend, blinking up innocently at him. “What is, baby?” 

“These days, y/n’s been getting so much attention.I’m not mad or anything, that’s great for her. But what about me? I need attention too.” And something triggers in San’s mind, “Baby, I’m right here.” As if saying, why the fuck does she need more attention? Is it because he doesn’t make her feel appreciated enough? Has San really been a bad boyfriend? “I’m so sorry, baby. I--”

“No no San it’s not you, it’s never you.” Lei turns to him and grasps his fingers, “It’s just… I don’t really get it.”

“What’s not to get?” San furrows his brows, not entirely following with where Lei was going. “Y/n getting attention? I don’t know what’s going on in your mind, but there’s nothing wrong with that.” Lei sighs exasperatedly, her boyfriend not fully understanding her point. “I never said that-- you know what? Nevermind” The female huffs and gets off the couch and the younger male follows her into her room, where she almost slams the door at his face, if not for his foot. “Babe, I can’t help you if you won’t tell me what’s bothering you.” San grasps Lei’s wrist and pulls her into his chest, his fingers running through her dark red locks. “But I already told you.” Her voice muffled against San’s shirt and she wraps her arms around his slim torso, “Why don’t you get it?” San sighs and tugs her face off her chest, tilting her head up with his fingers. “I’m sorry baby, I’ll make it up to you.” He murmurs against her lips when he leans down and presses them against his.

Yeosang had his ear pressed against the wall that divided your room and Lei’s room and he knew it was wrong to be eavesdropping but after what he heard in the living room, he couldn’t help himself. He was standing by the staircase when he heard your sister’s voice whining about the lack of attention she got. Boy, the way he rolled his eyes at that. Isn’t she happy enough that she had San in her grasps? Does she not remember that San met you first and she was the one who took him? Yeosang, at first, thought that Lei was an okay sister, not really the best but she wasn’t the worst either. At least she was treating you right, or so he thought. Never in his life would he imagine Lei saying that. Some sister she was.

* * *

_ The more time I spent with you, the more I realized that you were not just my tutor. You’re kind, caring, loud (in a good way) and just a big dork in general. _

“Mingiii” You whine and throw your legs out on his carpet, glaring up at him with furrowed brows. The said male towers over you with his arm extended above his head, holding up the piece of scratch paper you were previously doodling on. “Give it back.” You have tried, with all your might, to get that paper back. For the past five minutes you have tiptoed and jumped and even attempted to climb onto the tall asshole’s back, but you couldn’t seem to get your hands on the paper. “After you let me take a picture.” Mingi stood on his toes, his hand still holding the paper above his head and his phone in his other hand. 

During your lesson with Mingi, he excused himself for a quick moment to answer his phone and so you took it upon yourself to start doodling while you wait (instead of reading the guide again and trying to understand). You got too immersed in your doodles that you didn’t notice the tall boy creep up behind you and peek over your shoulder. His eyes sparkled when they met the intricate cactus cat you doodled with your green highlighter. The heart attack you got from when his long fingers snatched your paper nearly had you dead on the floor. 

Mingi’s brother walks into the living room, eyeing the way you were pressed up against his brother’s chest, reaching up for the doodle in his hands and sees the scheming glint in Mingi’s eyes. “Hyung, get this!” The brunet calls and motions at the paper in his hands. The older of the two rushes to Mingi’s side and takes the paper and snaps a picture with his phone, all the while Mingi grabs your waist and holds you against him. You squirm in his arms, not noticing the position you were in right now. “I’ll send it to you later!” And just like that, he runs away up the stairs and into his room, not before dropping your picture onto the table. 

“My brother’s nice, right?” You huff and drop down on the sofa, your arms crossed over our chest, “Nice my ass.” Mingi lets out a loud laugh and plops himself down beside you, his phone dinging and a notification for an incoming image popping up on his lockscreen “He is nice''. You turn away from him and stick your tongue out jokingly at the tall boy, making him laugh harder, “You’re just jealous.” You look back at him, looking somewhat offended because you know for a fact that you have the best sister in the entire universe, “Jealous? My sister’s the nicest person there is.” Mingi wears a look that says ‘enlighten me’ in times new roman italic, and so you dig into your relationship with your sister, the mess of worksheets and textbooks forgotten on Mingi’s coffee table.

“She sounds like a great sister.” Mingi comments and watches you with soft eyes, there was something about the way you unconditionally loved your sister and embraced it that made his heart melt. You obviously loved your sister to bits and it showed in how you talked about her; how your eyes would sparkle when recalling the many times you two hung out, the lilt in your voice when talked about how she loved you back. She was like a saint to you and he could tell. Something about you screams ‘perfect’ to him. Was it your personality? 

After almost three weeks of being your tutor, Mingi picked up a lot about you. He found out that you were an art major, constantly under stress and a total mess. You got into art when you were fifteen because of that one time where you spontaneously signed up for an art workshop, and went on from there. He also found out that you met your bestfriend, Yeosang, at the said workshop. You always talked about Yeosang, when you first started your lessons, it was always Yeosang this or Yeosang that, to an extent where Mingi thought you two were an item. But you made it clear to him that you two were nothing more than that. He noticed the sad glint in your eyes when you said that, but he chose not to point it out. 

You had a great personality too, you were caring and forgiving and your sense of humour was something almost everyone loved. You showed that your heart was open to everyone and you didn’t pick favourites. Of course something was a little off when you semi-jokingly said that violence is always the answer, but you didn’t mean that… right? Of course you didn’t (?). You offered him so much love and affection, even right after meeting you showed him how you really were. You didn’t feel the need to hide from him, you never treated him any differently because he was smart. Everyone else always labelled him as the smart kid, but he’s not just smart, there’s so much more to him. 

You knew that. You treated him like he was a normal person, called him out on his mistakes, joked around with him and it was refreshing to Mingi. Having someone see him in a different light, not just that one math whiz in class. Mingi was kind hearted, he was impossibly patient, and that says a lot because you were by far the most stubborn and air headed person he’s ever met (no offense though). Whenever you insisted on your wrong answers, the tall boy would just smile at you softly and wait while your mind buffers. Well, until he realizes that you really don’t know a single fuck about what you’re saying, so he just sighs and goes over the entire thing again. Not once has he ever snapped at you for all the bullshit that you say. Now if that doesn’t scream patience, then you don’t know what does.

Mingi was also extremely caring, you learned that pretty early into your sessions. You knew you were a mess, possibly everyone you have encountered would know that. So it was no surprise that you ran out of the house that day and completely blocked out Seonghwa’s calls for you to eat breakfast. Yes, Seonghwa still comes over every now and then to make you breakfast, and even though you told him that it wasn’t necessary, the dirty blond boy still insisted. You went on your day with an empty stomach, not even realizing it yourself for you were too busy with classes. You didn’t really act any differently nor did you look tired or hungry, so it went right over Yeosang’s head. 

Well it certainly didn’t go over Mingi’s. He was waiting to pick you up that day when he spotted you coming his way, back hunched and arms slung over your belly. It took you an entire day to notice the rumbling coming from your stomach and the hunger was finally taking its toll on you. Noticing your lack of enthusiasm, Mingi sensed there was something wrong and he immediately figured it out once he saw your pale lips and droopy eyes. The tall boy didn’t hesitate to cancel your lesson today and insisted on taking you out for food, no matter your protests. You didn’t know this, but that was the first time Mingi ever cared so much for his tutee, to an extent where he even bought you food, with his own money. 

Sure Mingi was a nerd, or that’s what he referred to himself as, but he was one loud nerd, that’s for sure. Not a day would go by without you hearing his loud voice down the halls, always hollering out to some guy he called ‘Ho’. You weren’t sure how you never noticed his friends group, they were such a rambunctious bunch, how did you not notice their constant yelling out on the field?. Always screaming bloody murder with or without the tall brunet. You weren’t complaining though, you like Mingi loud. Could you imagine a world where Mingi was actually quiet? Yeah me neither. It seems you could thank his friends for that,  _ Thanks Hyunkyu, thanks ‘Ho’ _ . 

Many people knew that Mingi loved music, he always had his wireless beats around his neck if they weren’t in use. People would often find him bopping his head to some music while he types out a paper in the library. But what people didn’t know was that Song Mingi also wrote music. You could tell that he knows what he was doing, from that one time he forgot to connect his headset to his phone and accidentally blasted out a segment of his work. It was such a short snippet but you could already tell that it was good. Sometimes you wondered why he didn’t take up music instead. But if he was happy, then you have nothing against it. Oh, and one more thing, he was a damn great dancer too, or so you’ve been told. You haven’t really seen him dance, because, well, he never let you. You didn’t know why, but he always refused to have you pick him up after dance practice.

In short, Mingi was an amazing person with a pure heart and a great personality, his looks and height were just a bonus.

* * *

_ Also I must say that your taste in music is the chef’s kiss.  _

“You’re still here, y/n?” Mingi’s brother looks at you, mildly surprised at your presence in their living room, “Don’t you think it’s getting pretty late?”. The tall male beside you checks his watch and notices the short hand pointing down at six and looks out the window to see the darkening skies. “Oh shit, I didn’t notice!” He apologizes to you for keeping you for so long, but you shake your head softly in return. “It’s okay, Mingi. I didn’t notice too.” You say with a small smile while gathering your things and shoveling them into your messenger bag. “Thanks Mingi, I’ll see you tomorrow.” You get up on your feet and offer him a tiny bow before heading to the door.

“Wait, let me drive you.” You try to refuse at first, but the tall boy told you that if you didn’t let him then he would feel bad for the rest of the year because he let you go home all by yourself after he kept you late. So with a playful roll of your eyes, you agreed and allowed Mingi to lead the way to his car. “Again, I’m so sorry, y/n.” He turns to you with apologetic eyes when he shuts the door of his black hyundai elantra. “I told you, it’s okay.” A pout settles on his lips and you have the sudden urge to peck it away. Luckily, before you could act upon it, Mingi starts the engine and the roar snaps you out of your shallow daze. 

A slightly awkward silence falls over the two of you as you sit stiffly on the leather seat, looking out the window. You hear Mingi rustle in his seat when you two reach a stop sign as he plugs the aux into his phone. A soft female voice flows through the speakers before a lower male voice joins in and the two voices erupt into a fit of giggles, then suddenly the familiar instrumental reaches your ears. “Soul Fro?” You glance at his phone and see ‘Crush On You’ highlighted at the very top of his playlist. 

Mingi turns to you for a moment to give you a somewhat surprised smile before turning back to keep his eyes on the road, “Yeah, I found it lying in my recommendations and I’m glad I did.” You reach over to increase the volume a few more levels before exclaiming, “No way, my sister showed it to me and now I’m hooked!” Your begin to sparkle and even if Mingi didn’t have his eyes on you, he knew they were there; it was in the excited tone you spoke in, the smile in your voice and your overall aura as of the moment. “You have taste, Mingi.” You peek at the rest of the titles displayed on screen, “You know Duw too?”. The tall boy in the driver's seat grabs his phone and hands it to you, giving you permission to scroll through his playlist. “Yeah, his voice’s so good.” Your eyes scan through the list of songs when your eyes land on the golden album photo of Rina Sawayama’s ‘XS’.

“I’m changing the song.” You warn before tapping on the song, not even waiting for Mingi’s approval. Who just smiles at your excitement and your choice of song. His smile widens when he sees you start to bang your head to drop in the beginning of the song. “Heeeey, I want it all, don’t have to choose.” You sing along and do a little dance to the beat, even if you didn’t have the best singing voice out there, you were obviously having so much fun. Mingi tried to hold back but your singing just made him want to join in. So he did.

“Cartiers and Tesla X’s, Calabasas, I deserve it.” His deep voice merges with yours and creates a combination not so pleasant to the ears, but it sounded fine in yours. You two continue jamming out throughout the entire car ride, switching from song to song without even finishing the second verses with permanent smiles on your lips and your hearts soaring. When you two reached the front of your house, the sun was fully set but the stars haven’t shone through the clouds yet and Love is (Not) Easy by Chase Atlantic is blasting through the car speakers. 

Lei hears the music from her room, bringing her to peek through her curtains and spotting the source of all the noise. She sees your sweater clad form hop out the black hyundai elantra, followed by the driver’s door opening and revealing a tall handsome boy who hops out and follows you through the yard. Your sister does a double take,  _ that hunk  _ was your tutor? No he couldn’t be. He was too good looking to be smart. He was handsome and tall, plus his body proportions were no joke. What was he doing wasting his life on tutoring you? He should be taking up modelling. Lei had to get a closer look at him, he looked ethereal.

She made it just in time, stopping at the foot of the stairs to see Mingi smiling brightly at your grandma, reassuring your safety to her. You stood beside the tall brunet with a small smile and Lei suddenly had the urge to rip out that smile on your face. No, she was a good sister. She held back all these years, she can do it again now. Besides, she has San. 

You were seated on your bed, cleaning out the contents of your velvet messenger bag and switching it out for a bright white backpack, when Lei suddenly knocked and came in with a scheming smile on her face. “What’s up, sis?” You halt your actions and look up at the older who tucks a lock of her dark red hair behind her ear. “Who was that hunk that drove you home.” She plops down beside you in a teasing manner, or that’s what it seemed like to you.

“Oh that was Mingi, my tutor.” You smile and a soft blush spreads across your cheeks, “Yeah, I guess he’s kinda handsome.” Lei looks at you with raised brows, “‘Kinda’? Do you need glasses, y/n? He was a total hottie” She exclaims and falls back on your mattress, crumpling under her the worksheets Mingi left you to do. “Lei, Mingi gave me those worksheets.” You whine and try to tug her up, but she stays still and even has the audacity to squirm with the papers underneath her. “It’s okay, Mingi won’t mind.” 

“Yes he will.” You lie, Mingi definitely won’t mind. One time you showed up to your session with your work almost crumpled into a ball and the idiot just smiled. “You’re lying. Mingi’s nice, I can tell.” You push her off your papers and try to straighten them but to no avail, “Okay, so maybe he is kinda nice. So what?” You train your eyes on the papers in your hands, lowering your head to cover your reddening cheeks. “You can tell me, y/n. I’ll listen.”

Okay, maybe Mingi was really nice and handsome, insanely handsome at that. Maybe you really liked how he was tall or how his voice was so deep that it made your heart shake. Maybe there were some instances where you found yourself fantasizing about being in his arms, his large hands engulfing yours (and maybe sometimes having his lips on yours). So what? You didn’t like him that way. You promised to yourself that you wouldn’t. You swore to yourself that you would rather die than fall for your tutor.

“I like him, Lei.” It’s probably time for you to dig yourself a ditch and die there. __

* * *

_ I hope you can forgive me for what happened to you, I’m so sorry for not doing anything about it. _

The next day, you woke up to Seonghwa yelling at Yeosang from the kitchen at around six thirty, they’re lucky it’s a Saturday or else you would personally murder them and have their heads mounted on your walls. You stomp down the stairs and glare at the two undeniably handsome boys, but their looks will do nothing to save them. “Listen here, shitheads. Mingi’s coming over at ten and I have four more hours to rest, so please let me sleep.” Mingi called you up last night after dropping you off, suggesting you have your weekend tutor session at your place this time, because he had emergency dance practice in the afternoon. Plus, your place was closer to campus, so it made sense.

You stand by the entryway, leaning your shoulder onto the eggshell coloured wall. The two boys in your kitchen who were previously arguing over who would eat the last piece of toast (Seonghwa saying that you should get the last piece and Yeosang arguing that he was hungry and you could make your own) now turned to you with confused looks. 

“It’s nine thirty though…” 

Your eyes widen as you're finally fully awake, looking behind you at the clock that hung on the wall. A loud and aggressive ‘fuck’ escapes your lips and you run back upstairs to wash the rheum and drool off your face. You run around your room with a bathrobe wrapped around your naked body, not really knowing what you should do first. Should you dry your hair? Or get dressed? Maybe you should put on some underwear. Yeah that sounds nice.

With one leg through the leg opening of your white cotton underwear and the other one in the air, you struggle to keep our balance and lean on the door of your closet. A sudden knock on your bedroom door nearly makes you lose your balance and the voice that calls out from the other side gives you a literal heart attack.

“Y/n?”

Mingi’s deep voice echoes through the room and you scramble to grab the first things you could lay your hands on. “I’ll be out in a minute!” You pull on a pair of plaid pajama pants, which probably haven’t been washed yet, and tug a cream coloured sweater over your head. You rush down the stairs to see Mingi on your couch, his hands folded on his lap and eyes roaming the interior of your house before landing on you. The look on his face tells you that there was something wrong, the way he purses his lips to hold back the sudden cackle that bubbles up his chest makes your eyebrows furrow. You cock your head to the right, confused as to why he reacted that way and looked over his shoulder to see Seonghwa and Yeosang with the same expression, both simultaneously pointing at your sweater. And you look down to see the seams of your sweater on the outside and the print on the inside.

“I’ll be right back.” You let out an awkward chuckle and run to the kitchen, hiding behind the wall, away from Mingi’s sight and rip the article off over your head. Seonghwa yelps and hurriedly covers his eyes with his large palms and jerks his body around. Yeosang just eyes you amusedly while you struggle to blindly find the hole of your sweater. It’s not like you two haven’t seen each other shirtless before, but that’s not important right now. With a low chuckle, Yeosang makes a beeline for your scuffling form and helps you tug the knitted piece over your head, he’s met with your huffing face covered in hair and you place a hand on his chest, giving it a pat as a thank you before running back to Mingi.

“Okay, I’m back.” You stumble into the living room and plop down on the floor by the coffee table, watching as the boy maneuvers his long limbs to settle himself on the carpet beside you. Taking out his stack of papers and pile of textbooks, Mingi drops them on the glass and turns to you, asking for the papers he tasked you last night. You sat there beside him, a stiff smile plastered on your face. Right, he gave you papers last night, papers to answer. The papers you fell asleep on after gushing to Lei about Mingi’s gummy smile, his throaty laughter and his gravelly voice. 

You blinked animatedly at your tutor and tried to recall any memory of you jotting down numbers last night, but all you could remember was you emptying out your bag, splaying out your task on the bed when Lei barges in, sprawls herself on the layer of papers, crumpling them in the process; after that, all that filled your mind was Mingi. And then, a few hours later, you fell asleep with thoughts of Mingi’s arms around you and his fingers intertwined with yours. Yeah, you weren’t telling him that, so you try to come up with a lie.

“My dog ate them.”

He’s not sure if he was missing anything, but Mingi certainly didn’t see or hear a dog when he entered your house; no traces of any dog toys or care products anywhere. The tall male looks at you, dumbfounded, “What dog?”. Honestly, who were you shitting? Not only was that the most blatant lie ever told, but the way your back stiffened and your finger twitched gave it all away; you were completely see through. But did you back down? Hell no, you were an idiot and idiots dig deeper holes for themselves with more embarrassments. “Did I say dog? I meant plant. That darn plant.” You could hear a series of faint chuckles coming from the kitchen but you pay no mind to them, you can deal with the two shitheads later.

Mingi, fully aware that you forgot, smiles and waves it off, pushing towards you a stack of clean papers in front of you. You give him a crooked smile, silently thanking him for his kindness, but then he pulls out another stack of papers and slaps them on top of the first pile, your smile dissolving into a pout. “Nice try, y/n.” You flip over the new stack and notice the familiar set of numbers and questions on them. “I had a feeling that I should make extra copies of last night’s work.” He answers your bewildered expression with a sly smirk. 

For the next hour, you stay silent, quickly filling out the papers while Mingi monitors your work. The brunet occasionally rubs a hand on your aching back when he notices you try to stretch out your muscles. Another hour later, you finish the first stack (the stack that you were supposed to answer last night) with a victorious cry and slump over the glass, fingers nearly cramping at the nonstop scribbling for the past hour. Mingi laughs at your antics before going back to reviewing your answers, and so far you’ve been right for the most parts. Of course there were some parts where you forgot to write down a number or do this certain operation but you were improving. 

“I’m gonna go get us some food.” You get up on your feet and scamper to the kitchen to prepare two plates of sandwiches, maybe… or maybe two bowls of cereal.

Just when you walk into the kitchen, Lei comes down in her silk camisole and boxers, showing quite a bit of skin. Mingi doesn’t notice her entrance to the scene and proceeds to scan through the papers with his green pen in hand, until she plops on the sofa behind him, peeking over his shoulder and eyeing the worksheets on the table. “Are you the tutor?” Mingi purses his lip at the title and holds back from retorting ‘I have a name’, instead he settles with a curt nod and asks back, “Are you Lei, y/n’s sister?” Mingi turns to her for the quickest moment before turning back to his work. “The one and only.” The older smiles and leans closer to Mingi. “Did y/n really get that right?” She points at number seven (a number you stopped on because it was relatively difficult) of the current worksheet in Mingi’s hands, “I didn’t know she was smart.” 

The tutor furrows his brows and whirls around to look at Lei fully, who doesn’t seem to fit the description you gave him. She was pretty, he’d give her that, but with the things you told him, the speeches of her being the  _ ‘Sweetest sister’ _ who _ ‘loves me with all her heart.’ _ , and you _ ‘wouldn’t trade her for the world.’?  _ There’s no way they’re the same person. Or maybe that’s just how you two show affection. That might be a possibility, so Mingi just brushed it aside, watched her get on the floor beside him and press her thighs against his with a scowl on his face. Maybe he’s just looking too deep into this, he shakes his head subtly. Lei had a boyfriend and from what you told him, she was loyal and loved him.

Lei’s mind goes haywire, because, wow, Mingi was one hot guy. His voice was impossibly low, his adam’s apple was prominent on his neck and bobbed every time he spoke. His scent was very bold but not overpowering, it smelled very earthy and fresh. Another thing was his height, Lei didn’t really notice it when she first spotted him out the window, but now that he was right in front of her with his legs that could go on for forever and his ideal body proportions, she couldn’t hold back a gulp.

‘How come y/n gets all the hot boys?’ Lei asks in her head, wondering what kind of miracle you made to deserve all this attention. From San to Mingi, they were all after you. It made Lei feel inferior. She was supposed to be the pretty sister who gets all the guys, not you. She knows it’s not right to think this way, but she can’t help it. Something inside her just screams how it’s unfair. It’s also unfair to you because she’s been lying to you. Acting like the perfect sister who loves you with all her heart, and she does but, she deserves some attention too. She wants to be selfish, just this once. It makes no sense because she has San, so why isn’t she satisfied? What more could she ask for? 

Lei remembers how you explicitly talked about his large hands and his long fingers, and she couldn’t stop herself when her hand reached for Mingi’s thigh resting on the floor, the male flinching hard and pulling his leg away. Mingi raises a brow at your sister, who looks back at him with wide innocent eyes. “Come on Mingi,” She whines, voice hushed like she’s doing something wrong. Which by the way she is, because she knows well that you like Mingi, you told her yourself. Not only that, she also has a boyfriend, for pete’s sake! One that loved her unconditionally, and cared for her. She must be going insane, Mingi’s cologne intoxicating her like none other.

You hold back a loud gasp, your eyes lingering at your sister’s hand on top of Mingi’s. You saw the way Lei came at him, in her skimpy pyjamas and a certain fire in her eyes. You saw the exchange, how your sister initiated the contact and how Mingi moved back. You heard the little ‘please’ she whispers when she leans forward and plants her hand in between the two of them. Mingi scoots back a little bit more and before you could call out your sister, the front door opens and reveals San, whose eyes turn dark at the scene.

“Get the fuck off my girlfriend!” The blond sprints to the two and in the blink of an eye, he grabs the taller boy’s collar and throws him onto the ground. You screech and drop the plates on the floor, the ceramic shattering on the wooden floors. Alerted by the sudden ruckus in the living room, Yeosang and Seonghwa run out to the source. Yeosang stops by your side to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you into his chest, the older jumping straight into the action and drags Lei away to a safe spot.

San straddled Mingi’s hips and grasped his collar tightly before he was shoved off his torso by the taller boy. Mingi immediately got onto his feet to take a few steps back and explain to the boyfriend, but all San saw was red. His eyes burned with rage as he ran up to the brunet and landed a punch right smack at his cheek, making Mingi stumble back onto the floor. San moved to trudge towards the fallen male before Seonghwa finally got to him and grabbed his waist, holding him back. You pushed out of Yeosang’s hold and ran in between the two brawling boys, kneeling beside Mingi’s torso. 

“Oh my god, Mingi!” Your hand comes to cup his jaw but immediately recoils when he winces. 

“What the fuck, San?!” You hear Seonghwa curse and throw San back away from Mingi. “He was all over my girlfriend!” The blond reasons out, looking back at your hunched form and Mingi’s fallen one with rage behind his dark irises. 

Yeosang comes to your side not long after, lifting Mingi’s body while you rush to grab an ice bag. “Yeosang, take him home please.” You plead with worried eyes as you press the cold pack onto his cheek, pupils quivering when you notice him flinch. “Fuck. I’m so sorry, Mingi.” The injured male just smiles softly at you, ignoring the growing pain on his face. “I’m okay, y/n.” He insists with a hand on your shoulder, as if that will ease your worry. The brunet staggers towards San, with an intent to explain the situation to the fiery boy. 

“Listen-” Wrong move.

San, blinded by rage, thought that the tall male was trying to provoke him, so he did what his mind screamed for him to do; punch that motherfucker. His fist collided with Mingi’s stomach, the latter stumbled back, his mouth agape from having the wind knocked out of him and from trying to refrain his breath. 

“San!” You screech, running to shove the blond away and blocking him from seeing Mingi’s beaten state. You catch a glimpse of San dragging your sister up the stairs, but that wasn’t your priority right now. Your tutor, friend, and crush (all the same person) was just beaten up; that’s definitely more important. Now, after a few minutes of laying on your couch with a bag of peas pressed against the core of his stomach, Mingi was finally in a well enough condition to stand up. With a rough sigh, you order Yeosang and Seonghwa to take the poor boy home and insist on Seonghwa driving, and just like that, the limping boy was hauled into his black elantra and driven off.

Now you deal with Lei. What the fuck was that stunt she pulled? You saw it clearly with your own eyes, she did something you thought she couldn’t do. You saw it, it has been processed by your mind but your heart refuses to accept it. What she did… what she did was borderline cheating! Your feet padded heavily up the stairs, with your head hot and smoke blaring out your ears. Honestly, San took it too far. Wasn’t one blow enough for him, that he had to deliver another one? But was it really his fault though? Or were you looking for another party to blame instead of your sister?

“I told him to stay away baby…” You hear Lei whimper from her open bedroom and that made your blood boil even hotter. The audacity.

“No, Mingi told  _ you  _ to stay away. But did you?” Outraged, you burst through the door and glare down at the couple. San was seated on the bed, face held in his palms while Lei was sat on the floor in between his legs, looking up at him with her trademark Lei Eyes that will get you putty in a matter of seconds. At your words, the blond snaps his head up at you, brows furrowed with confusion evident on his sharp features. 

“You’re saying shit again, y/n.” Lei turns to you with a deep scowl on her usually soft face. This was the first time your sister responded to you in such an aggressive manner, and not jokingly. The crease between your brows deepen and you take a step closer, looking at San in the eye instead, paying no mind to your sister.

“I saw everything San.” You clench your jaw, recalling how Lei put her hand on his thigh like there was nothing holding her back. “Lei started it, not Mingi.”

“Fuck off, y/n!” Your sister yells at you, now on her feet and ready to fight you.

“She put her hand on his thigh, tried to kiss him, and even had the audacity to whine when he didn’t want to.” You huff, taking slow steps towards the two, watching carefully how San’s expressions shift from angry, to confused and then to guilty. “Lei, is this true?” He turns to the redhead in front of him, but her refusal to meet his eyes was enough of an answer for him. “Holy shit, I punched him.” The gears in his mind finally start turning and it sinks in how he almost beat your tutor to a pulp. But he wasn’t sure what bothers him more, that he beat up an innocent guy or that his girlfriend had thoughts of cheating in her mind. It hurt him, how he was so driven with rage that he hurt Mingi, and how his insecurities started to fill his mind.

What brought Lei to the option of cheating? Was he not enough? Did he not love her enough? No, he loved her with all his heart, ever since she asked him out three years ago his heart was set on her only. Maybe that wasn’t enough for her. It finally made sense, that ‘attention’ think she brought up a couple weeks earlier, he should’ve known that it would lead to something bad. But let’s face it, even if he saw it coming from a mile away it still wouldn’t cushion the blow of his girlfriend borderline cheating on him.

With the weight of his thoughts, San gently pushed Lei away and walked past you, your sister obviously scrambling to her feet to follow her boyfriend. “San, I-”

“I need to think, Lei.” The blond turned to her with a cold expression and shut the door behind him.

After a few moments of silence, Lei turns to you, red faced and rage induced, and screams at the top of her lungs, “Why are you always ruining things for me, y/n?!” And that struck you, what does she mean ruin her? She’s the one with the better lifestyle, right? The one with the looks, the favourite child, the one with the boyfriend. So why was she going off at you? “Leave, y/n! I’m so tired of you taking things away from me!” What the fuck? You gave her everything she wanted, you even gave up your feelings for San just for her to have him, and now she’s saying that bullshit? 

Before you could talk back or even open your mouth to utter a single word, your sister shoves you out of her room and shuts the door in your face.

* * *

Monday rolled in fairly slowly, considering that your weekend was bland and filled with silence regarding your current situation. But first, before you wallow in your ruined sister relationship, you needed to talk to Mingi, check up on the poor boy. He must’ve been so hurt. Throughout the day you couldn’t sit still, always squirming in your seat and glancing at the clock every three seconds, anxiously anticipating algebra.

When the professor announced the dismissal, you were out the doors, running ahead to get to the room across the left wing of campus. Your sneakers squeaking so loudly against the tiles that you barely hear Yeosang’s calls of protest and the thudding of his Doc Martens when he goes after you. He doesn’t actually have algebra next, but he was worried that you might do something irrational. Honestly, with the way you ripped the door open, Yeosang’s not quite sure how it stayed on its hinges. You looked like such a mess, he saw you fidgeting in your seat throughout the entire class and from a mile away, he could tell what was bothering you. 

Yeosang didn’t really know what happened that day, all he remembers was helping you make two sandwiches before all hell broke loose and the next thing he knows is that he’s in the backseat of Mingi’s car, pressing an ice pack onto the said male’s torso. Not how he expected his weekend to go. After that, when he saw you that Sunday, you were holed up in your room and the overall aura of the house was gloomy. He tried to pry it out of you, but it was no use, because for the first time in your life, you were actually pretty tight lipped. He has tried approaching Lei, but the older would just avoid his advances. Maybe something happened between you two?

Your best friend peeks into the nearly empty room and spots two figures near the back corner, your somber form stand in front of early boy Mingi in an apologetic stance as you relay your apology to the male. 

“I’m really sorry, Mingi. I should have done something first.” You cast your eyes down and keep them on your fumbling fingers, refusing to meet with Mingi’s smaller ones in fear of landing on the growing bruise on his cheek bone. You expected him to huff, to scoff or even just roll his eyes at your pathetic excuse, but instead you hear his gruff chuckles reach your ears and you look up at him, confused. Confused as to why he was smiling with a bruise on his cheek, or why he had the strength to laugh even with his aching stomach. What was so funny? Was it your hair? Probably, you passed by some reflective windows on your way here and you caught a glimpse of your bird’s nest hair. But that’s something you should take care of next time. 

“Yeah, you should be.” Mingi continues his low chuckles, puzzling your brain even more. You were somewhat worried that he maybe you saw wrong, and it wasn’t his cheek San hit but his head, then again there was a huge bruise on his cheek to tell you otherwise. Or maybe Mingi was so mad at you all he could do was laugh, at your idiocy or your audacity to even approach him. But when you look up at him, there were no traces of anger or wrath in his warm chocolate irises. Instead they were the usual bright slits you see very often on Mingi’s face when he smiles. 

You came up to him today half expecting him to not talk to you or to just end your little tutor agreement, not see his big bright gummy smile directed at you. He had a bruise on his face, for fucks sake, but he could still smile at you? After what you did? Mingi truly was a man. 

“I didn’t get to practice the other day because of you.” He whines teasingly with a pout. He also had the strength to joke around? This man always seems to impress you with how perfect he is. From his looks to his smarts and even his personality.

“Mingi, I’m so sorry.” You sigh, biting your lip apologetically, your fingers fiddling with the hem of your shirt, “Is there anything I can do to help you get better?” The tall brunet pretends to look around the room and rubs his fingers on his chin, as if contemplating his answer. “Maybe if you let me beat up, San—”

“Done!” You give Mingi a determined look, brows furrowed and eyes trained hard on him. 

Mingi’s head snaps up to look you in the eye, did you just allow him to beat up your sister’s boyfriend? “Wait, what?” The poor boy nearly panics at how you were so ready to hold down the said blond and even do the cleaning up for him. “Wait no calm down, y/n. I was kidding!” He gets up from his seat and places two firm hands on your shoulders. But your gaze doesn’t falter, “I wasn’t.” He chuckles nervously because you looked about ready to drag him to San’s house and have him beat the smaller boy up. 

“He hurt you, Mingi.” You bring a hand up to his jaw, careful not to touch the purple patch on his skin. “And it wasn’t even your fault.” Your eyes soften and Mingi sees the internal battle inside them. You must have gone through a lot. You saw a fist fight happen in your own home, felt at fault for what happened and got betrayed by your sister; your sister who you thought would never do anything of the sort. He can’t even imagine what happened when he left. But when he looks at you from afar, you were still bright, eyes wide and filled with golden specks; it was as if nothing happened in the past couple of days. 

But if he looked closely, he could see how the bags under your eyes darkened the slightest bit, and how your cheeks look slightly less full. The emotions behind your eyes dark and somber, while your stance was weak, like you haven’t been eating well. It hurt Mingi’s heart to see you so down, and it was all his fault. 

You hid your pain so well, which was very sad, yes, but Mingi looked up to you, admiring how strong you were. Although Mingi wishes to do nothing but rid you of all the sadness in your life, he best believes that he should stay away for the time being. For he was the source of your family feud and he wouldn’t want to cause any more ruckus. 

The bespectacled boy wraps his long arms around your shoulders and gently pulls you to his chest, your body goes stiff, the bruise on his stomach on your mind. You hear Mingi mutter a low apology into your ear. His husky voice making goosebumps rise on your skin. 

“I know it might not be fully my fault, but I feel guilty, okay? I mean look at you!” He pulls away and looks you up and down. “Not many people may notice, but I did. You’re a mess, you haven’t been eating or sleeping well the past couple of days. Am I right?” He doesn’t let you answer that because he already knows the truth.

“My point is, you don’t need me anymore. You’re doing so well in algebra, that means my job here is done. It’s been done so long ago but I didn’t want to accept it. I like you, y/n.” He confesses, making your heart skip a beat and your cheeks gain a bright red tint. “ and I didn’t want to stop seeing you, stop sitting beside you for three hours straight, I didn’t want to leave. I honestly want to stay with you forever. I thought that it’ll be fine, but look at what happened now. I should’ve left you the moment you showed improvement. This never would have happened.”

“Don’t say that, please.” You plead before gripping the tall boy’s collar and pulling him down to plant a soft kiss on his plump lips. You two stay still for a quick moment before the male in front of you pulls away, and chuckles lightly on your lips. 

“Don’t make this hard for me.” He leans down to plant another kiss on your lips, but this time he pours out all his frustrations and emotions onto your lips. Your eyes flutter shut at the sheer power he presses against your lips. Tilting his head to the side to slot his lips with yours, Mingi brings up a hand to hold your jaw and he feels your grip on his collar tighten. His soft lips move against yours before he brings his tongue out to swipe at your bottom lip. 

No matter how much he wanted to stay by your side and hold your hand, hug you while you sleep, and listen to your problems, he knew that you should focus on your family before him. Fix your sisterly bond before forming a bond with him. So he pulls away, panting slightly and looking deeply into your dazed eyes. He gives you one last smile before whispering softly,

“I don’t think I should drop by your place for a while.” 

Yeosang, who stood by the door with his fists clenched tightly, lets out a harsh breath, running away when he notices a few people coming his way. 

_ I’m so sorry for how things turned out. It’s not your fault never, nor was it Lei’s. I’m sorry for dragging you into this, but I don’t regret meeting you. I don’t regret liking you. Yes, you heard that right. I really do like you Song Mingi, I hope you know that I appreciate you and that everything about you deserves to be appreciated. _

_ I’m so sorry for inconveniencing you, _

_ y/n from algebra  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this can be found on my tumblr (@talkbykhalid) and on my wattpad (@bIushers, notice: the 'L' is actually a capital 'i')


	7. QUICK UPDATE

hello my lovelies, im pretty sure y’all would’ve caught on by now, but im going on a short hiatus! mainly bc my writing computer broke down and im saving up to get a new one, when i do ill go back to writing more!! so don’t worry <3 ill be back soon ily all ❤️


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